1. What is it like to have a scumbag brother. My brother was three years older than me, and when I was in the first grade of elementary school he was in the fourth grade, and when I was in school, the first grade was one lesson less than the fourth grade, so

1. What is it like to have a scumbag brother. My brother is three years older than me, and when I was in the first grade of elementary school, he was in the fourth grade, and when he was in school, the first grade was one lesson less than the fourth grade, so every day you would see two people at the door of the fourth grade class, one at the door penalty station, and one at the door waiting for my brother to come home from school.

2, last night my husband and his buddies went to KTV to find a singing companion and I caught him squarely, and when I got home, I had a big fight with him. He said a word, after not seeing with women in general, no matter how I counted and provoked, I didn't squeak, I felt bored, and I just wanted to collect the troops. The husband suddenly let out several farts in a row. The son burst out laughing: "Mom, Daddy said you farted, you still said." ”

3. Girlfriend: "Do you have a problem with hesitation?" Boyfriend: "Well... I'm not sure. Some people say that, but others don't think so, and sometimes it seems to be, but usually it's not. Alas, I'll think about it and tell you tomorrow! ”

4, the New Year to go to the little uncle's house, in the evening when a large number of people finished eating and prepared to leave the table, the little uncle took out a bottle of Yida xylitol and asked: "Who of you wants this?" We all at the table were thinking at the same time, hey, I know life, or when I took two grains after dinner. Only to see my little uncle open the bottle cap with a smile and then pull out a toothpick...

5. Today, when it was the turn of the buddies in front of me, the interviewer asked him if he could work the night shift? The brother hesitated and said: "I am afraid of going home at night..." The interviewer: "People are not afraid of female comrades, what are you afraid of as a big man?" "I'm afraid of my daughter-in-law..." said the brother. Then I saw the interviewer take a deep look at the resume of this brother, which impressively wrote the home address: Wangjia Village

6, that year of senior year, the mother opened a convenience store near the school, at noon there are often female classmates out to buy bottles of water, small snacks. My mother suddenly became generous and asked the female classmates to help me carry a bottle of water or something, and the classmates envied me for having a good mother. After some time, one day the old mother thief came to me and asked: Dog egg, did you talk about a girlfriend? I said seriously: No, no girl is looking at me. My mother stared at me and slapped my head hard: The mud can't support the wall, I sacrifice so much food, let different girls bring you every day, you actually didn't touch a single one? Are you still interested? Stunned is to gain so much weight...

7. When I was in computer class, the computer used by the students in the first row suddenly crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, our computer is dead, this row is all dead." At this time, many of my classmates said, "We are also dead." At this time, the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up: "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely, "The whole class is dead, why aren't you dead?" ”

8, Xiaoming: Mom, the teacher lost her temper today. Scolded all my classmates except me. Mom: Really? You finally gave me a face back. Teachers scolded something. Bob: The teacher scolded the other students for being. Mom: It's not good for the teacher to scold the students so directly. Xiaoming: Mom, the teacher didn't scold the classmates directly, but just gently said that I was the churning stick in the class.

9, Xiaoming: Mom, the teacher lost her temper today. Scolded all my classmates except me. Mom: Really? You finally gave me a face back. Teachers scolded something. Bob: The teacher scolded the other students for being. Mom: It's not good for the teacher to scold the students so directly. Xiaoming: Mom, the teacher didn't scold the classmates directly, but just gently said that I was the churning stick in the class. Mom:.....

10, I sleep very well, as long as there is no thunder, I decided not to wake up, belongs to the kind of sleep to die in the past. A few years ago, my distant cousin lived in my house, and in the middle of the night the wall clock on the wall fell and hit my head, and it was bleeding, and I was still awake. But my cousin was frightened, and when she found that she couldn't wake me up, she thought I had been knocked unconscious. My cousin called out to my mother to call 120, and my mother calmly said, "It's okay, she's just asleep." "It turns out that I really just fell asleep and didn't wake up, and when I woke up in the morning and saw the gauze on my head, I was confused...

11, girlfriend company to do luck, she was forced to play basketball because of her height of 1 meter 8. It turned out to be home after the game, which scared me, and I thought she had gone to a fight. Because the girlfriend's arms and legs are all blue and purple, and there are several scratches on the neck. My girlfriend showed me the video, and I confirmed that it was definitely a group fight in the name of playing basketball. And the scene is very hot, the atmosphere is extremely warm! Regret not going to see the scene!

12, the president of the chat: every football national team needs stars, the retirement of stars will often make these national teams decline for a while! For example, the retirement of Ronaldo, Zidane, Baggio, and Cruyff has caused their national team to decline for a while! The same is true of China, which has not eased up for more than 1,000 years since Gao Li retired.

13, there is no fruit at home, I went to RT-Mart to buy it. Walking around, I met the lady of the company. I said hello to her, and the hostess pointed to the apple and said, "This apple is good, I eat two every night." I nodded in agreement: It tasted really good, and I ate it every night. Just listen to her continue: this way you don't have to eat dinner, you are healthy and lose weight. I can't take this because I eat it after dinner.

14, my father often brought leftovers for my dog to eat when he came back from a party with friends, but he did not expect that the neighbor's dog came to eat every day. After a long time, my mother got bored, and then closed the door to prevent it from coming. Recently, it knocked on the door every night, and my dad thought it was a knock on the door for my mom to open. After countless times like this, my mother fired at my father and said: You think I am not tired enough to work every day, and always let me open the door for the dog!