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1.? There is a female colleague in the company who is very beautiful, and I chased after me for three months, but she still rejected me and put down harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, less in the future

author:Handsome laughed to no friends

1. There is a beautiful female colleague in the company, I chased after me for three months, but she still rejected me and put down harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and you will eat fruit in the future. I asked her, "Who is your sister?" The female colleague said: The female boss of our company is my sister. I thought about it carefully, since I couldn't take down my female colleague, then I took down her sister, so I made a major decision that day and began to pursue the female boss, and the next day, I would ask the female boss every day for warmth, and everything cared about her, and within a month, the female boss was touched by me and promised to be my girlfriend. Today, the landlady called the female colleague to the office and said: From today on, he is your brother-in-law. When the female colleague heard it, she stomped her feet in anger. Then, I walked out of the office and vaguely heard the landlady say to the female colleague: Don't think about hitting your brother-in-law in the future. Hey hey, it's so deeply hidden in merit and fame.

2. Always late for work, and often fish in muddy waters when he goes to work, and then he is directly expelled from the company. Although sad, I thought it was a rare holiday, so I planned to relax. At night, I played LOL all night in the Internet café, went to the toilet, just came out, and suddenly a beautiful woman blocked me at the door. Stunned, the beautiful woman smiled and said, "Handsome brother, what is your name?" Let's hang out! I reacted suddenly, suddenly became angry, and shouted: "Dead kai, the enemy army will reach the battlefield in thirty seconds!" ”?

3. This year, I have passed the Michelin-starred chef exam, and I also have a kind of wisdom treasure for myself. I was ready to go home for a year off, and at home I had someone design a huge kitchen that cost more than $1 million, but it was also worth it. After I finished it, I called my brother and sister-in-law to come to my house to taste my craft, and the two of them were very happy. Later, the two of them quarreled frequently, and in order to make them calm, I made a big meal and called them to my house, which has recently reached three quarrels a day! You say, are these two mouths addicted to eating the food I made? Am I caught in the trap of them?

4. A rich man from India came to China to travel, got off the plane and booked a ticket back to India on the way to the hotel, and quietly left China without playing. After returning to India, the rich father asked his son strangely, "How did you come back when you first arrived in China?!" The son said with some trepidation: "It's not good, China is going to attack the mainland, the streets and alleys are posted with slogans, writing "print", "laser printing", "fast printing", door-to-door printing, 3D printing." If I hadn't run so fast, I'm afraid I wouldn't have seen you!" Father said: Thanks to the fact that you used to learn some Chinese, how lucky!?

5. The buddy's girlfriend finally agreed to take him to see his parents. But his girlfriend told him to break his habit of swearing, which her parents didn't like. Dude lived up to her promise and performed quite well in front of her parents. Just as he said goodbye to her family and went out, the brother politely said to her father: Uncle, don't send it, it's too cold outside, you hurry into the house, see the aunt frozen like a bear!

6. The second uncle went to Vietnam on a business trip and came back to buy a large bottle of snake wine, and I saw a big cobra in it. The second uncle insisted on drinking a little before going to bed every day, and after drinking for half a year, he also showed off to his buddies: "I feel that my body is getting better and better!" "That night, he finished his drink and took out the cobra. At this time, the second uncle roared, and they thought he had been bitten by a snake. No, I actually found that the snake was made of plastic, and I was deceived!

7. Today I went to the supermarket with my wife, and spent a total of 40.4 yuan. I gave the cashier 100 yuan, and the little sister first found 50 and handed it to me, but I did not pick up. I found 5 more pieces and handed them to me, but I still didn't answer. Then I found 4 more pieces and handed them to me, but I still didn't answer. Finally, I took out a six-cent coin and handed it to my wife, and I quickly grabbed it into my own hand: this is mine!

8. In the 1990s, family planning was strictly controlled, and I was the only child in the family. Maybe a person is too lonely, so he begged his father to give me a sister or something. Dad sighed and said that he had to ask my mother about this. So I found my mother, but my mother was impatient and drove me away with rude words. One day on the way home, an advertisement in the alley of "heavy money for children" attracted me. I followed suit when I went back, and since I didn't have a phone, I filled in my home address. The next day I came home from school with a bunch of people around my house, and I haven't forgotten that fight yet...?

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #

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