Seeing that the uncle went to pay the electricity bill, the staff saw that the uncle's fee was extremely low, and asked curiously: Why are you paying so little for home appliances? Uncle said triumphantly: Because I have a trick! The staff puzzled: you don't

Seeing that the uncle went to pay the electricity bill, the staff saw that the uncle's fee was extremely low, and asked curiously: Why are you paying so little for home appliances? Uncle said triumphantly: Because I have a trick! The staff wondered: you don't watch TV? Don't boil water without air conditioning? Uncle shook his head and whispered: "Visit the door at night!" After watching TV and drinking tea, I also saved air conditioning, and I was lucky enough to drink a few cups! The staff laughed: Then you can't go to people's homes every day? Uncle said mysteriously: Relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbors, take turns to line up the number cycle again and again...

2. During the military training in the university, the teacher comes to check the hygiene of the dormitory at night. Pointing at a classmate's quilt, he scolded: "I let you fold into tofu blocks, not tofu flowers!" I want to see tofu fast in 5 minutes!! Otherwise don't blame me for freaking out, right now!! Right away!! As a result, the classmate trembled and said, "Teacher, I will not change tofu blocks, only biscuits, do you want to?"

3. After the elder brother got married, he was managed to death by his sister-in-law, and he did not dare to disobey at all. Once I came to rub rice, I heard my sister-in-law teaching my brother: Every time for a few seconds, can you be a little out of the way? Seeing that the elder brother lowered his head in embarrassment, I quickly pulled my sister-in-law aside and told her in a serious tone: Sister-in-law, this kind of thing you two know, don't say in front of outsiders, men want face. My sister-in-law was stunned for a while and asked me: He played such a game in such a pit that others could not let others know?

4. After graduating from Tsinghua University, I went to work in a big city. In order to save rent, I had to share a room with a man. That time, I was going to let him share half of the cable bill. He asked me: Why did you ask me to give this money! I said, "Don't you have a TV in your room?" He nodded: "Yes, but I haven't seen it yet." I said: Don't lie, I often hear the sound of the TV in your room with the TV on. Him: It's open, but I didn't look at it!

5. My cousin opened a dumpling shop, which tasted average, but the dipping sauce was particularly delicious. I heard that it is: 1 chili pepper and two pieces of garlic beaten into a puree, add 3 drops of sesame oil, 300ml of vinegar, a drop of soy sauce. People in the store prefer to eat it, but it has not yet been sold. The reason is that the salesman in the store has a mouthful of garlic smell, and the customer runs away as soon as he covers his nose!

6. Today there is a blind date between a man and a woman at the True Love Cafe. F: "I'm sorry, you're not my type. Male: "Don't abandon me, I have a problem, I smash the steering wheel of the car when I am sad, the rolls-Royce steering wheel is very expensive!" Female: "... I'm just kidding, did your dad buy your car? Male: "What my car, that's my boss's!" Woman: "Is your boss married?" ”

7. Dad digs coal in Shanxi, I am a proper rich second generation, usually travel is to drive Lamborghini. Today I took a bus ride to experience life. An uncle next to him held a mobile phone, and suddenly the phone rang, and the uncle immediately picked up: "Hello? feed? feed? The voice was louder and louder, and just when I wanted to see what was going on, the uncle said to himself: "It turned out to be a text message!" ”

8. Yesterday I went to a bar to drink and found a one-legged big brother sitting at the bar. I went to talk to him, and the one-legged brother said to me: Do you know how I don't have this leg? I shook my head, and the one-legged big brother said: The east wind blows, the war drums beat, I think who I was afraid of in the first place? Walking south, crossing north, I rolled my legs on the train tracks. I looked shocked and said: Your leg is rolled by the train? The one-legged big brother shook his head: No, this leg was beaten by people when bragging about it two years ago!

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #