1. Once on a train sleeper, the upper bunk was a young woman, very beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above

1. Once on a train sleeper, the upper bunk was a young woman, very beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole train room, and the young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above, and then said to me, you are a good person at first glance, you should not have any thoughts about me, right? I was surprised and said, good people also like beautiful women, you look so beautiful, I have ideas about you is a very normal thing. The beautiful woman said helplessly, then do you have a wife? I shook my head and said, I haven't married yet, and she asked again, do you have a girlfriend? I shook my head and said my first love was still there. She sighed and said, this is deep in the middle of the night, there are only two of us in the whole sleeper private room, you will definitely bully me, forget it, I will still be your girlfriend directly. I have a girlfriend for no reason, and I am quite dizzy, but this is also very good, and finally ended the single state. After getting off the train, I took her to a big meal, bought her jewelry bags and clothes, and her mood was obviously better, she smiled and said, I didn't expect you to be rich. I shook my head and said, I have worked for so many years, I have only saved tens of thousands of dollars, and today I spent all of it on you. She looked at me with a complicated look and said, You are really good to me, but your money has been spent, what should we do in the future? It's impossible to drink the northwest wind, right?

2. My wife wanted to eat braised pork, so I went to the market after work to buy two pounds of pork belly, and after taking it home, I washed it and took it to the chopping board and started cutting, when I accidentally cut my finger, and the blood fell on the meat.

Just when I was grinning in pain, my wife ran over and asked curiously: Husband, are you dripping blood to recognize your relatives?

3. The eldest brother-in-law saw that he was 35 years old and not yet married, and finally the matchmaker introduced him to a woman with a child. Unexpectedly, the eldest brother-in-law did not mind, and the two of them got married after a month together. Later, when the child fell ill, when the blood was drawn and tested, it was found that the child's blood type was the same as that of the brother-in-law. Further DNA testing was done, and it turned out to be surprising that she was the eldest brother-in-law's biological child! The eldest brother-in-law was suddenly confused, and the others were even more confused...

4. Drive Dad's Rolls-Royce to the suburbs with the school flowers of the Aviation Department. Passing through a small forest, the school flower suddenly lay on my ear and said softly: "There is no one here, do you want to come to some magnetic poles?" I was stunned and looked at her: "Got it! In the eyes of the school flower circle, I said with contempt: "Don't think that there is no traffic police here and I will let you drive!" ”

5. Once spent the night at his girlfriend's house, the night was very late, and the future mother-in-law had been mopping the floor in the living room. I asked her: Does Auntie not sleep so late? Who knows, she said in the old man's house: I will delay for a while and then go to sleep. But auntie, you are dragging from nine o'clock to twelve o'clock, and I should be asleep after a little longer.........

6. A: How can I live a long life? B: Quit drinking. A: I don't drink. B: Quit color. A: I don't like women. B: Vegetarian. A: I don't eat meat! B: So why do you want to live a long life?

7. After graduating from college, I went to work in other places and never came home, but I finally went home during the Mid-Autumn Festival. When I got home, I saw my parents cooking in the kitchen, and my father was cutting all kinds of peppers in the kitchen. Mom asked, "What kind of chili do you say I belong to?" Dad: That must be a bell pepper, sweet to my heart! I leaned forward and asked, Dad, what kind of chili pepper am I? Dad: You're mustard, hot eye!

8. Today my son came home very happy and said to me: "Mom today the teacher taught us to write one, two, three, I wrote wrong at the same table, the teacher beat him to cry!" I thought haha who's this stupid son! If I had this stupid son I would have died. I used to watch TV experts say to use the "encouragement education model" for children, so I wanted to praise him: "Baby! What about you?"" Mom, I didn't cry, I'm old and strong!"

#Funny GIF# #幽默搞笑段子 #