Ask a beautiful woman online and invite her to a bar for a drink, and the beauty elegantly says "I only drank 93 years of Lafite!" I ordered a cup hard, and the beauty smacked a mouthful, "That's the taste!" "Drink in total

Ask a beautiful woman online and invite her to a bar for a drink, and the beauty elegantly says "I only drank 93 years of Lafite!" I ordered a cup hard, and the beauty smacked a mouthful, "That's the taste!" "A total of three drinks, checkout, a total of 86 yuan, I whispered to the waiter "how is it so cheap?" the waiter whispered, "Sir, we don't have Rafi, it's all ordinary dry red, and I'm afraid you're too expensive..."

2. After I went to middle school, I was so badly disgruntled on my feet that I never dared to wear slippers. A classmate came to play with me, and I bought several cases of wine in the dormitory in the most enthusiastic way to entertain him. At night, before going to bed, I said to my classmates: Let's sleep two times and one head. My classmate looked at my drunken face and said, "No, I'm going to sleep on the other end." In the middle of the night, I heard my classmates shouting: Lean to the side, sleep on the other end of your feet, whether lying on your stomach or on your side, every breath you take feels like choking your nose, and I am lying down and can't sleep...

3. The cousin talked about a girlfriend in college, and the brother once visited the woman's home, and the woman's family was warmly entertained. Before leaving, my cousin went to the bathroom, and when he came out, he checked whether he had forgotten anything and planned to say goodbye. The woman's father suddenly said to his cousin, "Boy, you haven't forgotten anything, have you?" The cousin wiped his pockets and said, "No! If you forget, send it to you, just meet and greet! The woman's father shook his head and said to his wife, "Forget it, you go and help him flush the toilet..."

4. The ex-girlfriend hated me for opening a Volkswagen POLO, and the old rich man who opened a Rolls-Royce got along. Now it's been 10 years since I met my ex-girlfriend on the street today. She took her seven-year-old daughter with her, and when she saw me, she asked, "Are you still single?" I scratched my head in embarrassment: "Yeah, this is not in a hurry!" To ease the embarrassment, I said, "Oh, your daughter is so pretty!" It's like you! She immediately blocked the child behind her: "You don't want to beat my girlfriend's idea!" ”

5. The brother-in-law has a crush on the female supervisor who has been divorced 3 times, and this night the brother-in-law plucked up the courage to confess to the female supervisor. Brother-in-law: "Can you be my girlfriend?" The female supervisor listened and said, "I'm sorry, I already have a boyfriend." The brother-in-law was silent, silently sad and turned away, tears kept flowing down. Just a few steps away, the female supervisor said eagerly, "Please wait! The brother-in-law instantly broke into a smile and looked back at his sister with anticipation. The female supervisor had a smile on her face and said, "Even if I don't have a boyfriend, I won't like you!" ”

6. My cousin's family is a slaughterhouse, and listening to the howl of pigs tearing their hearts and lungs from childhood, no one will have a good temper. After marriage, her cousin's temper is still hot, and she often quarrels with her cousin-in-law. Last night, the two of them quarreled very fiercely, and my cousin came to my house to relax and do handicrafts and paintings with my son. Unexpectedly, her nail seams were stuffed with paint, and she couldn't wash them clean. After my cousin went back, my cousin called me: Thank you, your sister came back and washed my hair for an hour. I've never enjoyed such treatment, how did you help me persuade your sister?

7. Yesterday my brother took my sister-in-law out to buy bags, and as a result, my sister-in-law wanted to buy LV, and my brother said to buy Hermès, and the two quarreled. The brother calmed down and felt that he was wrong like a sister-in-law apologizing, and the sister-in-law did not want to bury her arms and cry all the time. The brother comforted for a while, the sister-in-law gave him a blank look, and the brother was a little impatient and turned away. The sister-in-law cried for a while, heard many people around her, looked up and saw people around her pointing at her. Looking down at his brother's affectionate message on the ground: "I was deceived by netizens, ask for ten dollars for a ticket to go home!" ”

8. I came out to work before I finished high school, and today my brother was particularly excited to receive a salary, so I went to take a bath in the evening to relax. When I entered the door, I went down to the bath first, and after a while, I felt that I was soaking very well, so I picked up a bath towel and rubbed it for a while. After getting comfortable, two beautiful women suddenly swam over and slapped me in the face. Then I looked at the girls next to me and looked at me with vicious eyes. I'm wronged to death, don't you just take a shower, what's wrong?

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #