The writer Fromm once said in the book "The Art of Love" that love is an art and an ability.
This sentence tells us that when pursuing love, it is useless to rely only on hard work and persistence, and only those who know how to use skills and improve themselves can harvest happy love.
Many people have the experience of pursuing love when they are young, and some people have failed in the pursuit of love because he does not have the ability to control this love.
It is often said that at the right time, when you meet the right person, you can get good love. In my opinion, this sentence is not completely correct, if at the right time, I met the right person, but I did not grasp the courage and ability of this love, and finally I would miss this love.
In psychology, there is a famous "Matthew effect", which refers to:
A phenomenon in which the stronger the stronger, the weaker the weaker.
By putting the "Matthew effect" in love, we can come to the conclusion that if you want to have a happy love, you must know how to improve your own ability and make yourself better.
If a person wants to harvest a happy love, he or she needs to have at least three abilities.
First, the financial ability to earn money to support the family.
Love is a matter of two people, for a couple in love, although there is love to drink water, but the two of them need to use rice oil and salt and other necessities in daily life, they need to use money to maintain.
Some people say that love without a material basis is like a handful of sand in the hand, it cannot withstand the wind and rain, and there is a certain truth to this sentence.
If a person has neither an economic foundation nor the ability to make money to support his family, he will not be able to maintain the love relationship for a long time, and he will not have the confidence to grasp love.
Even if they are lovers again, the love between the two of them will gradually wear out in trivial daily life, if there is no economic foundation between the two, and the ability to make money, they cannot let each other see hope in this relationship, and this relationship is difficult to maintain.
If a person wants to harvest a happy love, he first needs to have the ability to make money and support his family.
Second, the ability to resist stress.
In Liang Jingru's song "Courage", there is such a lyric: Love really needs courage to face gossip.
In fact, if you want to maintain the long-term stability of a love relationship, you need to face not only the pressure of gossip, a couple in the process of getting along together, the two will face a lot of resistance, such as experiencing pressure, the obstruction of both families, and the two couples in the process of communication, may be due to differences of opinion and so on.
In the love relationship, encountering contradictions and obstacles, this is a very normal thing, if a person in the face of external pressure, their own first retreat fear, then he can not give the lover confidence, so that the love of two people can not withstand the test of time.
If a person wants to maintain a love for a long time, he must have the psychological ability to resist external pressures.
Third, loving a person requires ability, and only by improving yourself can you harvest happy love.
Loving a person requires ability, and only people who are proactive and optimistic about life can have happy love.
Someone once conducted a survey, in the love relationship, the lowest success rate is the first love, because the first love of the people are very young, they have no financial ability, and the mind is not mature and stable, so even if they meet the right person at the right time, they can not grasp the love.
Love is the need for ability, in a happy love relationship, the couple needs to have both a material basis for protection, but also need to be able to feel a sense of security in the spirit, only the couple can work together to progress, in life to continuously improve themselves, their love relationship can be long-term stable.
If you want to have a happy love, you must first improve your own ability and give yourself the ability to win love.
The "Matthew effect" in psychology tells us that love requires ability, and the more people who have ability in love, the easier it is to make their love relationship happy and stable.
A person who lacks ability in a love relationship, even if he meets the object of his choice, he will often miss this love because his thoughts are not firm enough and his will is not mature enough; and people who have the ability to grasp love are often able to have the ability not to miss it when love comes.
If you want to harvest a happy love, you need at least three kinds of ability: the ability to make money to support the family, the psychological ability to resist external pressure, and constantly improve their learning ability, only positive people can make themselves harvest happy love, so that the love object feels happiness and sees hope in the love of two people.
Psychology tells us that love requires ability, and only by making yourself excellent can you get happy love.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)