No one in a relationship can be a little unaffected by the lover, and sometimes even if the other party has become a thing of the past, the sequelae that remain may continue into the next relationship.
Some girls will take the shadow of their ex to the next, become sensitive and suspicious because they did not get enough security in the past emotional experiences, and become flattering personalities because of the machismo of the ex... A relationship can indeed invisibly change a person's love habits.
According to my observation, for many boys, they usually have a subtle "ex-girlfriend compensation effect" after the breakup, and compensate the debt to the ex in the future.
Brushing the little red book saw a sister who said that her boyfriend was particularly willing to spend money on her, usually sending small gifts every three to five, and when it came to the New Year's Festival, it was soft to transfer gifts, and the boyfriend also opened a relative card with a large amount.
It wasn't until I accidentally looked at my boyfriend's mobile phone and my friend's chat history that I didn't have much money when I was with my ex, and then the breakup was also related to this reason. There was a saying that made her feel very uncomfortable: "If I could have done the same to xx (the ex's name) as I did to her at that time, maybe xx wouldn't have left me."
She began to think about whether her boyfriend's generosity was out of liking for herself, or the guilt and compensation for her ex, and inevitably doubted the purity of this relationship.
What is cruel in the relationship is that someone's kindness to you is to make up for the previous person. Even if you enjoy "this good" for a while, the feeling of being used as a substitute is really terrible.
"The predecessors planted trees, and the descendants became shade" Everyone understands the truth, and the people who plant trees may not be able to wait for the shade, but only to be a latecomer who enjoys the shade is sometimes not necessarily a bad thing.
There is a friend who recently got off the list, and it is said that what he made this time is the most satisfactory boyfriend since he grew up.
During the date period, she understands politeness and respects girls, and the restaurants she chooses are basically set around her house. It won't mess around with physical contact without measure, but it can make people feel intimate.
After being together, the mouth is also sweet, and will pay attention to the subtle changes in the color of her lips and send praise in time. Understand the sense of ceremony and romance, pick a gift without giving a headache of the "straight man gift", and even the fragrance of the perfume can be clearly distinguished. The emotional value is also very sufficient, can detect her mood changes, quarrels will not be harsh, will not let her spend the night with negative emotions.
She said that it is simply too cool to fall in love with this kind of boy, when she was a child, she may also eat fly vinegar, pick thorns and calculate a game, and when she is old, she has a "pick up ready-made" mentality, and she is too lazy to plant trees and just want to shade. On many issues, two people can achieve a one-shot deal, without spending time and effort to guide each other, and it feels really good to be in tune everywhere.
She even wanted to thank her ex-girlfriends for training him so well and teaching him what good, healthy love is.
Of course, in the past, like most young boys, he ran amok in his feelings and did not know how to give in, did not know what girls liked and wanted, and once there was a problem, he shrunk himself in the shell, too lazy to solve and just wanted to escape. In a relationship a little bit of running-in, there is today's "perfect boyfriend".
Even if you make up for it in another way with the mentality of not leaving regrets, it is not to make up for the current, but to the former self who always messed up.
The meticulousness of the incumbent is not necessarily a compensation for the predecessor, but the result of a replacement. It's like playing a game, accumulating experience in the past, the performance and equipment are constantly upgraded, and the skill points are stacked little by little.
The same problem in the past may not know how to deal with, after experiencing some things will know how to solve quickly and effectively, the mentality is more mature and stable, but also know how to cherish each other, know how to maintain the relationship between two people, love level is also improved in this process.
In the end, whatever the past is, it is nothing more than an experience, and it cannot be changed. The sum of those people and things that have been experienced will shape into such a person you like and choose in front of you, without any of them, maybe it will not become this him at this moment.
Therefore, we in love do not need to pursue the past too much, and it is good to look forward to the situation in the future and cherish the present.
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Head image / Aren