Text/Zhiheng
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"Oh my God, how do you look ten years old!"
It was my best girlfriend who exclaimed. I hadn't seen my girlfriend for two years, and I was embarrassed to hear her say it, and I believed she was the same, knowing that it would make me sad to say it, but she couldn't help but say it.
I could see the pain in her eyes, so I didn't blame her. How can I blame my girlfriend, who has been in my emotional trash can for two years, and the reason why it looks so vicissitudes, it should be blamed on my mother-in-law and my ex-husband.
Before I married my husband, my mother told me that people with debts in the family were either of bad character or lazy. But anyone who works diligently, even if they cultivate the land all year round, as long as their family is not lazy, they can always live a stable life in this world.
Of course, except for bad luck and failure in business, or if someone in the family gets sick and needs to spend a lot of money.
I didn't listen to my mother," I insisted on marrying my husband, I didn't ask for a bride price, and the wedding room was also rented. At that time, I thought that my husband's debt was only because of bad luck, as long as my husband treated me well, single-mindedly, knew cold and knew heat, such a condition, I also recognized, the big deal is a little tired, a little bitter.
But I didn't expect that after I got married, the nightmare began. The in-laws are really lazy, it turns out that the clean home before marriage is just pretending, after marrying, I know that the in-laws almost never clean, and the garbage is piled up.
How can such a family honestly work? The two in-laws change jobs almost once every two or three months, either tired or the boss has a bad temper, there is always a reason.
The work is not good, the sanitation is not good, the temper is still particularly large, and none of the neighbors say that the family is good.
This is the situation of the in-laws, I did not inquire before marriage, I think that a person's original family is not so important, after all, the husband I know does not have a little shadow of his parents.
My husband is a diligent man, and he can withstand loneliness, and when he knew him, his salary was seven or eight thousand yuan a month. But the big city has a lot of expenses, in addition to the money for renting a house, eating transportation and scattered expenses on weekdays, it is already good to have four thousand left, and these four thousand miles also have to supplement his parents and repay the debts that have been owed over the years.
I feel sorry for my husband, so I want to protect him and live with him. I hope that my arrival will make him rekindle hope in life, and of course, I hope that our days will become more and more prosperous.
But only half a year after marrying him, he was exposed. Maybe it was because the days after marriage were too comfortable, plus I could also make money, and I began to have a surplus in my hands, and my husband began to complain that the work was too tired and wanted to change to a more relaxed one.
I was distressed that he had been suppressed by the family's foreign debt over the years, and agreed, changing to a nine-to-five, three-thousand-dollar monthly job, but hoping that he could do a little more housework so that I could go out and make money with peace of mind.
But when he came back from work, he either lay down and played with his phone, or slept. Once, in his body, I actually saw the shadow of his father in a trance.
After saying him several times, not only did not listen but was impatient, I gave up and began to think about living like this, there may be children, after becoming a father, it will be different.
As a result, he did not have much of a stable life, he secretly quit his job, played poker on the Internet at home all day, not only lost our savings, but also owed a lot of foreign debt.
I argued with him and he started beating me, and I wanted a divorce, but found out I had children. For the sake of my children, I stranded my plans for divorce, worked hard, and ran back and forth with my belly up. I also wanted to give him a chance.
But during confinement, his parents' indifference to me and his indifference to his children completely angered me. Out of confinement, I filed for divorce, and soon after, I officially divorced.
While I am taking my children, I am looking for a job, as long as I am willing to ask for me, willing to give me a salary, I am not afraid of suffering, not afraid of tiredness, I am afraid that my children do not have good living conditions.
When you can't stand it, chat with your girlfriend and pour bitter water. My girlfriend saw that I really couldn't get by, and she would secretly give me money to help me.
Now my life is back on track and I have met my girlfriend. Although my girlfriend's words were impolite, they truly reflected what kind of life I had lived in the past two years.
I sincerely advise all girls who intend to marry, don't be impulsive for love like me, and must look at each other's families before getting married.
The protagonist of the story told in the first person above is a distant cousin of mine. As her cousin, I feel deeply guilty, not only was I not able to care for her, but I also once thought that marrying her in love would make her life very comfortable.
Through my cousin's experience, I also want to remind the girls who want to marry, and I also want to remind those parents that before a woman marries, she must first look at the man's family, and do not marry if it does not meet these points.
01 There can be not much savings, but there must be no external debt
We can allow a person to have temporary poverty, or we can allow a person to have bad luck, but if there is a long-term foreign debt, it can only mean that the person is either lazy or has a problem with his character.
Luck is important, but if a person is lazy and does not want to work hard, even if he has a golden mountain and silver mountain around, he will be indifferent.
All women need to understand before they marry that money is not as important as we think, but it is definitely not as unimportant. The so-called economic base determines the superstructure, it is difficult to move forward without money, life without money, how hard it is to know, do not underestimate the power of "poverty".
At the same time, it should also be understood that if a person does not have a reasonable reason for having foreign debt, it can be summarized as the person's unusual laziness and character problems. Such a person, even if you like it, do not come close, otherwise you are the only one who is hurt and suffers.
02 Parents' character must pass
The impact of the family of origin on a person is absolutely profound. Just like my cousin, she thought that her husband was the exception in this family, but she did not know what kind of person her husband's original family was destined to be.
Parents are lazy and unreliable in character, and the impact on children is particularly large. Parents are the child's first teachers, parents are unreliable, how can his children be reliable, the original form is only a matter of time and opportunity.
Therefore, women should understand that before marrying someone, do not think that his original family is not important, but should focus on examining the other party's family situation, whether the parents' character is passed, whether they are loyal and honest, otherwise you will only have to eat and suffer in the past when you marry.
Don't have foreign debt for a long time, the character must pass, these two basic points must be satisfied. If the other person's family cannot meet this, try not to marry.
May all girls have a good marriage and marry a good family.
END.