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In today's society, everyone has their own personality type, and there is a personality that is called an accusatory personality. But most people don't have a deep understanding of the accusatory personality.
This personality reflects the norms of society through blame. However, for others, living on top of this society, it is necessary to protect their own rights and interests, and they must not be bullied and insulted by others.
Satya has made it clear that every gesture of communication is rich in three dimensions:
self
others
scenario
Not only that, he also believes that the gesture of communication can also be divided into flattering type, accusation type, super-rational type, fork type, and consistent type.
If your partner is an accusatory personality, then married life often contains pain and helplessness, how should you face marriage in the face of accusatory partners?
People with accusatory personalities tend to be better at finding faults and mistakes in others, and always like to criticize each other and blame others with their own views.
Once they find the shortcomings of each other, they will be infinitely magnified, so that the shortcomings completely overshadow the strengths of the other party, this type of person is always self-centered, with their own conditions and rules to restrain each other, it is difficult to realize their own problems, so often quarrels and disagreements with others.
In marriage, the party accused of being denied will also have emotional fluctuations in their hearts, and at the beginning they may argue with each other on the basis of reason, and can objectively analyze things with each other, but as the other party blindly accuses, it will only make the negated party gradually begin to move towards negativity.
He began to self-deny, resulting in a series of pessimistic emotions, which should have been a happy and happy married life, but under the criticism and suppression of the other party, it became more and more painful, and the quality of marriage and the level of marriage gradually declined. Why do some people always like to blame others?
According to real data, the formation of many accusatory personalities is likely to have a great relationship with the original family.
If his parents are accusatory personalities, then it means that the child has been harshly reprimanded and suppressed by his parents since he was a child, and when he grows up, the child will follow the parents' way of educating himself, and also begin to blame others regardless of the feelings of others, and the first to be hurt is his future partner and children.
In fact, many parents always like to put all their care on their children, which is understandable, but excessive pampering can turn into coddling.
Let the child become a "little emperor" self-centered, too self-centered, but ignore the consideration of other people's emotions, like to judge others, always weigh others' life standards with extremely high standards, so such people are often prone to form an accusatory personality when they grow up.
The accusatory personality is mostly lacking in an ability, an ability to give themselves a sense of security, so that they can calmly cope with uncertainty.
Many accusatory personalities habitually vent their dissatisfaction on others, and want to make the other person more perfect, but in fact they are just looking for a scapegoat for high-sounding reasons.
They are wrong themselves, but they are still unwilling to admit their mistakes, and everything they do in their own eyes is correct, which is actually an ego in itself.
If we meet a partner with an accusatory personality, don't start to feel anxious or depressed because of the other person's depreciation, you should look at the problem calmly and look at yourself clearly.
When many people encounter an accusatory personality partner, once the other party begins to belittle themselves, then they cannot control their emotions and want to argue with them.
But in fact, such an approach is wrong, which will only stimulate the contradiction between two people, making a small matter that was originally insufficient to worry about a dishonesty into an irreconcilable contradiction.
So when we hear the other party's negative remarks, we should examine ourselves and know clearly in our hearts that we are not such people, we can keep our emotions calm, and then praise him and praise him, but don't get angry, let alone argue with him.
When we encounter an accusatory personality, instead of grasping the other party's emotions, rather than letting him find his own problems, it is better to learn to improve himself, increase his ability to control emotions, be good at discovering his own advantages, and let himself truly recognize himself.
When the other party initiates judgment on himself again, he also has enough courage and confidence to resist the other party's voice, and at that time, the interference of the accusatory personality on yourself is as insignificant as the hair.
In fact, the accusatory personality is a manifestation of insecurity, and the reason why they blame others is that they want to get the attention of others in their own way.
In fact, this kind of person is also relatively common in our daily life, as long as we are strong enough in our hearts, we will not be interfered with by their words and deeds, life is their own, the light of life is also created by themselves, how can the words of outsiders affect the smooth path of life.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205