How many marriages that cannot be turned back are fatally fatal again and again

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Solve the difficult problems of relationship between partners

Although there are doctors in the world, they still can't stop many lives, and they have come to an end in the hospital. Similarly, although there are emotional counselors in the world, they still can't stop many marriages from going into dead ends.

Even if you see the person struggling and the last expectation written in your eyes, the only thing you can give is "accept reality". Before that, countless sighs had been quietly swallowed--"If you knew this, why did you have to do it in the first place?" ”

Therefore, every time when some counselors who are still in the love stage, or who have just entered marriage and have not yet had children, come to counseling with troubles, they have a feeling of ease in their hearts.

Even if the person is very entangled, as a bystander, I know that it is okay, fortunately, everything is still too late. Therefore, while feeling the sadness of the counselor with sympathy, he couldn't bear not to cross the line, and silently said in his heart, "Divide it, early; divide it, be fast." ”

Really, in marriage, many things are not allowed. How many marriages that cannot be turned back are because of fatal fate again and again.

01

In the face of domestic violence, you can't settle down

There was once a desperate wife who said his husband had a bad temper. He didn't have a good job on his own, often drank alcohol, and beat her when he was finished drinking. Sometimes in front of children.

Then, when you wake up, you apologize and promise not to fight again. However, after the next drink, it is still the same.

Now, the wife wants to divorce her husband. But he was intimidated by his husband: "If you dare to divorce, don't want to have a good life after divorce, and I don't plan to live anyway." ”

Ask the wife when she was first beaten. The answer is that it is time to be in love. So why didn't you break up after being beaten? The answer turned out to be that there had been sex at that time. "I've slept with him, and I'm his man." Anybody else, who would want me. ”

So the wife was gone. "He usually has a bigger temper and only answers people after drinking." And promised to change. ”

Here, we do not analyze what these abusive men have experienced. When you and he are not yet married, everything should have signs.

Whether a person is impulsive and irritable is a decision of personality, how a person deals with anger, and has formed automatic behavior patterns, these are things that are difficult to change.

Even if you don't understand this, you should know that if you will play the first time, you should be very careful whether there will be a second time. By the second time, you should already be convinced that this is something that will happen repeatedly and that the relationship should be terminated quickly.

However, the mere sad belief that "all things have happened, it is his person" has contributed to the succession again and again.

02

Ma Bao man with selfish mother-in-law, can not be done

A female counselor accidentally married a "filial piety" husband. When I was still in love, when I went to my husband's house for the first time, I was coldly treated and picky.

The husband did not say a word for himself at all, but felt that his wife was too willful, disregarding the overall situation, and had low emotional intelligence. Fortunately, when the two lived in the city, they could still live in peace.

After giving birth, the in-laws came to take the child, and various conflicts broke out during the month. The mother-in-law's outdated parenting methods made the wife intolerable, and after a few quarrels, the relationship dropped to the freezing point. When the child is 6 months old, the mother-in-law has to take the child back to her hometown to raise.

As the mother of the child, the female counselor of course did not agree, but because she had to go to work, she could not bring it, so she had to ask her husband for help. But the husband chose to obey his parents.

Watching your own children get taken away, there is no better way. After all, with children so young, divorce is easy. So the mother was depressed and almost depressed.

A man who is not mentally mature enough and not independent enough when it comes to marriage, don't expect to suddenly grow up after marriage.

If you are paired with a mother-in-law who is naturally hostile to your daughter-in-law, you will find that you can only fight alone in marriage. Your husband, who sleeps in the same bed as you, is not a country with you.

In the beginning, you will not protect your wife's husband in front of your in-laws, and later you should not expect him to stand with you. If you think you can make a giant baby grow up, you're overestimating your abilities. If it will also be on him and the home behind him, the bitterness after that can only be tasted by one person.

03

The psychology of gamblers cannot be compromised

How desperate is it to be when hard-earned belongings are thrown into the casino by a gambler's husband again and again?

There was a female counselor who took her husband to a foreign land and worked hard for many years. I have accumulated seven or eight years of hard work and am ready to use it to open my own shop. As a result, I suddenly learned that my husband owed a lot of gambling debts, and he could only use this money to pay off the debt.

I thought my husband could repent, but it was still difficult to quit drug addiction, and he claimed that he would only play small in the future, purely to pass the time.

Wives who have deep grievances naturally often talk about the past and condemn their husbands. The husband claimed that since his reform could not be forgiven, it was better to continue to gamble, and said that his wife forced her to go out to gamble. As a result, gambling debts slowly increased.

In fact, it is not only reflected in gambling. Many men are reluctant to do things in a down-to-earth manner, but hope for some speculative way to make money. For example, stock trading, lottery tickets, and so on. They will make money from these actions as a dream they will definitely achieve. A lot of energy and money is poured into it, waiting for luck to come.

This kind of opportunism is almost innate, and it is basically impossible to hope that they will change by self-discipline, unless you want to put enough in a cage and take him seriously, otherwise the economic black hole will appear in the family at any time, causing the whole family to lose hope.

So, when you find opportunism in a man, don't take any chances. How far away from him, how far away you can hide.

04

Habitual derailment, can not be settled

When a man cheats for the first time, if he is forgiven by his wife, he may return to the family and keep himself safe from then on. But if, a second and a third time in a row, as a wife, there is no ability to divorce. Then the probability of breaking the jar is very large, because this kind of cheating is addictive.

And you have no choice but to cry and make trouble about this kind of teaching. Then, an infinite cycle of infidelity-repentance-re-offending-repentance-re-offending arises. Every time I say change, every time I repeat it. How many more times can your trust be rebuilt?

In fact, after the first derailment, it is necessary to make a plan for the second derailment. Once repeated, trust may be destroyed. In that case, continuing to settle will be exchanged for continued derailment.

There are many more "can't be done" in marriage. After an intimate relationship is first established, there will always be symptoms. Some are like colds and fevers, bumps and bumps, and it is good to cultivate for a few days. Even if you get one or two times a year in your lifetime, it will not be fatal. But there are still some, like terminal illnesses, that have basically been hidden in the body for a long time and cannot be eradicated.

If this kind of pain is not serious, such as loving an ulcer in the mouth, within the scope of tolerance, it is harmless, and such a relationship can also end well with a little illness.

However, if its symptoms are intense, it always makes you cut off your liver and intestines, which is not something you can bear, and after the first discovery, you should give up the fluke mentality and do not settle down. Otherwise, take one more step, and it will be harder to turn around until there is no way to turn back.