A cheating marriage, whether to continue or not, this is the warmest answer I have ever heard

Text/Fu Sha Source: Yetingfm

A set of data shows that in 2021, the number of divorced couples in the mainland reached 2.139 million, and the main reasons for divorce are: infidelity, cold violence, domestic violence and so on.

Some readers are consulting in the background: If you have cheated on a marriage, do you want to continue?

Tonight, I want to answer with some stories of people who have come over!

-01-

"I choose to forgive"

Reader @Drifting Snow says:

My husband and I are a bit like Gu Jia and Xu Huanshan in "Thirty Only". I belong to the struggle type of person, similar to Gu Jia. The husband is conservative and lacks the strength.

In the 8th year of marriage, I invested in a company, because in the province, when the child was just in kindergarten, I did not choose to go to both people, but sent him to be responsible, and there was a problem with me to discuss and solve.

Three years later, he cheated.

When I got evidence of my husband's cheating, I couldn't believe it, was this something the guy I'd known for nearly 20 years did? Is this the other half that went all the way from college to the present? How could such a family-oriented man do such a thing?

But the truth is true, when he knelt down and confessed his mistake, I still did not hold back, and a few slaps were slapped.

Now that I think about it, those days were really hard. I kept checking the information, watching related film and television dramas, trying to find a solution.

However, the situation is different for every family. Our couple's 20-year relationship, not that he cheated, suddenly there is no. Similarly, he didn't cheat, he didn't have any feelings for our family, otherwise, I wouldn't have found out three years later.

At that time, the daughter was still young, and once we divorced, it would have a great impact on her. Without divorce, I felt sorry for myself again. I have been bullied like this, is it necessary to live my life like this?

It wasn't until I watched the TV series "Little Shedd" that I was woken up by a blow to the head.

I remember that it was the first episode of "Little Shed", which was about the "family banquet" convened by Nan Jianguo to celebrate the granddaughter's joy and win the singing competition. And Grandma also wanted to celebrate.

However, Huan Huan's grandfather and grandmother have divorced, so at the same time, they can only choose to reunite with one of them. Daughter Nanli is most afraid of such a situation, snubbing who is not the situation she wants to see, and every time she spends it in apology.

I have found that if my husband and I divorce, my daughter will face similar problems in the future!

Is it worth it to influence three generations because of one wrong thing?

Although I was hurt in this matter of cheating, there was still some responsibility, at least, I was too strong.

But the child is the most innocent, she did nothing, but to bear all the faults of the adults.

After thinking about these questions, I began to adjust my state.

And the child's father, since this time, has also endured all kinds of scolding when I am in a bad mood, and the repentance is also a full score.

After calming down, we made a deep communication, and we were willing to work hard for our children, for our family, and for ourselves, to turn this rotten thing over and restart our feelings and lives.

Now, two years later, the family is full of laughter and laughter, watching the child play happily with her father, I am really grateful that I did not have the impulse at that time.

If I had to ask if I had forgiven, I would just say, "That's not forgiveness, that's forgetful." ”

-02-

"I chose to divorce and will not marry again"

Reader Shin Shin chose divorce, saying:

In my 7th year of marriage, my ex-husband cheated on me and I left the house with my 2-year-old daughter, when I was 32 years old.

However, I did not remarry, all these years, and have been raising my daughter alone.

A divorced woman with a daughter, life is really difficult, remember when you just divorced, while taking the child, while looking for a job, but which company, it is impossible to let you take the child to work.

Later, I couldn't do it, I took my mother from my hometown and helped take care of the children, and then I found a job.

In the first three years, the ex-husband was able to pay child support on time, and later, he remarried and had children, and the child support for his daughter was often not given. Every time he urged him, he said that he was also very difficult, the salary was not high, and he had to support his current wife and children, and he really had no money to give.

Later, I was too lazy to urge again, and I could only work a few more jobs and make more money.

Some time ago, I saw a company founder on my mobile phone, and when it was live, he lost his voice and cried bitterly.

It turned out that she was also divorced, and her daughter was originally awarded to her ex-husband, but the ex-husband not only did not raise it, but then even the child support was no longer paid, so many years, she was alone in the burden.

This time, the daughter needs a lot of money, she coordinated with her ex-husband, who is still unwilling to take responsibility, so the pressure is too great, resulting in the live broadcast did not control the emotions.

Looking at it, I burst into tears. It is still so difficult for successful people to raise children alone, not to mention ordinary people like me, the current workplace, the age requirements are also very harsh, good jobs, basically limited to under 35 years old.

So for so many years, I am also struggling to support. Fortunately, my daughter is going to take the college entrance examination this year, and I finally have a hope.

Many people ask me, why am I no longer married?

I didn't dare, because I was taking a girl, I was afraid that she would be hurt, her biological father was unreliable, how could I rest assured that someone who was not related to her by blood would take care of her.

There are too many such things on the news, she does not have a complete family, I must protect her and let her grow up as happy as possible.

Another reason I stopped getting married was that I didn't want my daughter's future social relationships to be too complicated. Her father has remarried and remarried, and if I remarry and regenerate, then my daughter will have many half-siblings in the future, which is a bit chaotic.

Over the years, instead of being as radical as some divorced mothers, I only urged my child to learn, but chose to be her friend and pay attention to her mental health.

Of course, this process is not as simple as it is now, when the child is seven or eight years old, he often makes a fuss about finding a father, after all, the child needs a father, which is natural.

Some people also ask me, do you regret divorce?

In fact, the biggest regret is that the ex-husband should not cheat, if he did not make such a mistake how good, so that it will not involve the children.

-03-

"I chose to divorce and continue to find my own happiness"

Reader @ Qingfeng also chose divorce, but she chose to marry for the second time after divorce, she said:

My ex cheated on me and I chose to divorce. At that time, I took my 5-year-old son, and after the second marriage, I added a little sister to my son, and now that I have been married for 11 years, I can also be regarded as a complete child and daughter, and I am happier.

I was lucky enough to meet my current husband, who was considerate and tolerant.

My husband had a short-lived marriage before because his ex-wife cheated on him.

So, when he knew that I was also divorced because of cheating, he was particularly empathetic. He took special care of me, and slowly, there were feelings.

When I got married, I also had concerns. They all say that "it is difficult for a couple to be halfway", and I am afraid that he is not good for his children, but in the end I was touched by his sincerity. After so many years, he was like a biological child to his child, and it seemed that he had really chosen the right person.

My greatest wish is that the children will be able to help each other in the future.

Looking back now, I think it was right, otherwise, I might still be tearing up with my ex-husband and trapping myself in those rotten things, rather than letting the child grow up in the noisy, it is better to give the child a better environment.

In fact, after divorce, there is a possibility of encountering happiness, but the probability will be very difficult, the contradiction between the second marriage couple is far greater than the first marriage, especially for families with children.

As a person who has come over, I especially want to say that I should not divorce until I have to. Divorce is really not the first choice to solve the marriage problem, in marriage, no one is perfect, even if my current husband, there are some bad habits, but now I have learned the secret of happy marriage, that is, to grasp the big and let go, more inclusive, more understanding.

Once the shot of divorce is fired, there is no winner, and the one who is hurt the most must not be any of the couples, but the children.

When my son was a child, he asked me more than once that other people's parents lived together, why weren't his parents? Why can't he travel with mom and dad at the same time? Many times, I can't answer.

Too many children from divorced families spend their lives repairing their wounds, and too many children cannot repair them and can only continue the misfortunes of the previous generation.

After a failed marriage, it made me more tolerant of the second marriage.

-04-

After reading everyone's story, let's go back to the original question:

A cheating marriage, or do you want to continue?

From the reader's experience, this problem is not so simple and cannot be generalized.

If cheating is a habit, it is better to leave early, and it is best to leave when there are no children to avoid affecting the next generation.

If it is caused by accident, and the partner also has the determination to correct, if you can also control your emotions, you may wish to wait for the after-effects, give everyone the opportunity to start over.

If you can't accept it in any case, you must be inseparable, then please let go of your resentment, do a good job in the psychological construction of the child, and raise the child together, after all, in marriage, the most innocent is the child.

At the end of the article, the companion reader especially wants to remind everyone: we must respect marriage.

With such a passage on the Internet, I would like to encourage you:

"I did not cheat, not only to be loyal to my wife, but also to be loyal to my own upbringing and marriage, in order to give my children a correct three views, so that the people who gave birth to me and the people I gave birth to could not lift their heads..."

Infidelity is never a symbol of ability, let alone a sign of success, on the contrary, it will drag you into the abyss of life and become a stain on your life.

The road of life, every step counts, not only the good road will count, the detour, the wrong road, the shameful road will be counted.

It is not easy for us to come to the world, I hope that everyone can fear love, fear the other half, and live a good life together.

- END -

* Author: Fu Shao, Source: Night Listen (ID: yetingfm), love and life, can not be disappointed - with 30 million women for love to meet a better self, every night at ten o'clock, not to see and not to disperse.

* Anchor: Yan Jiao, sound worker, sound lover, use sound to shape different colors, use sound to meet you who love sound and color!

*Image source: petal net, sugar net

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