Zeng Shiqiang: When in love, how to judge whether the other party is suitable for marriage?
Two days ago, a news item swept the network. A woman in Anhui Province was put into the CPU by her husband's domestic violence and died after five days of ineffective rescue.
This matter has made many people sigh endlessly. Especially many women who have not yet entered marriage are even more afraid. Because in recent years, the news that women have been abused after marriage has really made many people more and more uncertain about marriage.
Therefore, for those women who have not yet entered marriage, how to find a reliable marriage partner before marriage is particularly important.
In fact, on how to determine whether a man is suitable for marriage, Teacher Zeng Shiqiang, a master of traditional Chinese studies, once said 4 points. The method is concise, but it is very effective. Using these 4 points, it will soon be possible to roughly judge whether a man is worth marrying and whether he is suitable for marriage.
First, go to his house and have a look
The first suggestion that Mr. Zeng Shiqiang gave us was to go to the other party's house to see. Because marriage not only involves marrying the man, but also means that there will be a close connection with the other person's family.
I had a college classmate who, when I was in college, liked a guy and was very, very fond of that.
Later, during a vacation, the girl followed the boy to his house once. I found that my boyfriend's home was particularly poor, which could be described as a family of four walls.
Not only that, the concept of this family is also very strange, women can not go to the dinner table to eat, women can not worship ancestors, women can not go out often... In short, there are a lot of strange rules.
The girl's parents listened to the daughter talk about the situation of her boyfriend's family and resolutely disagreed with the daughter's marriage. Because the girl's family is an intellectual family, not only is the family well-off, but also very enlightened.
However, because the girl was too young at that time, she did not listen to her parents and had to marry. As a result, in the past few years of marriage, because even if she has several children as girls, she will be swept out of the house by the family. In this process, the husband also stands with his family.
Later, in order to give birth to a son, the family took a lot of debts to the son to marry a daughter-in-law, the second daughter-in-law entered the door, within two years gave birth to a big fat boy, my classmate at that time, but because of this marriage, suffered from depression, at home recuperation.
So you see, marriage is different from love, love is only a matter of two people, and marriage is a matter of two families, it is indeed much more complicated, so before marriage, it is very important to see what the other party's family is like and what the concept is.
Second, see what friends he makes and what he loves to do
There is an old Chinese saying: "Things are clustered in groups, and people are divided into groups", and from a friend who is closely in contact with a person, he can also see some of his own characters and habits.
I remember seeing the experience of a respondent on a Q&A website before.
When the respondent first interacted with the man, he liked to play mahjong, and the friends he interacted with were also a bunch of buddies who loved to play mahjong. Because of the mahjong matter, the answerer hesitated to marry. But the man's mouth was very sweet, and he swore to her that after marriage, he promised to change for her and never touch mahjong again.
The Answerer then married.
Who knows, this man's so-called vow not to play mahjong has lasted for less than a year or so. After his wife gave birth to a child, he continued to play at the mahjong table, often playing in the dark. And the most social contacts around him are the buddies who love to play mahjong.
So you see, from the friends a person made before marriage, what he loves to do, it is easy to judge what kind of person he is. It was only because the respondent was overwhelmed by love that he believed the other party's lies that would change for her, and finally put himself in a very passive situation.
Third, see how he gets along with his neighbors
When it comes to getting along with my neighbors, I think of a family in my hometown. The two couples of the family quarreled almost every day, not only quarreling with each other, but also from time to time to find the stubble of their neighbors. The neighbors who could force their family to move away one after another.
Then later, their son got married. The girl is very diligent and simple and kind.
But since marrying into this family, her mother-in-law has quarreled with her almost every day, and it can be said that the married life that the girl has lived in this family has not had a day of peace.
Later, the girl couldn't stand it and filed for divorce. Who knew that his father-in-law actually ran to her mother's house to make trouble, disturbing her mother's family and making it very troublesome. Later, there was no way, the girl's father gave a large amount of money, in exchange for the other party agreed to divorce. Her in-laws originally made a wishful calculation, that is, to wait for the divorce, and then take this money to give the son another room, who knew that his family's reputation was spread all over that area, and no one dared to marry his daughter to them, and the son of the family is still playing with a bare stick.
So you see, from the relationship with the neighbors, you can really see how a person, even a family, is.
Fourth, look at what books he reads
When it comes to reading books, people who don't read books and people who read books have very different lives; similarly, the books they read are different, and their lives are very different.
For example, some people often go around saying how many books they have read, but in the end others know that what they are watching is either some chicken soup, or the domineering president falls in love with an online novel like me.
This kind of book, pastime can be, but want to change life, it is estimated to be a little difficult.
Speaking of this, I remember the story of Li Ka-shing's powerful general Hong Xiaolian.
Hong Xiaolian was originally only Li Ka-shing's office secretary, and her daily work was basically a relatively simple secretary's daily life, and she had more spare time.
In her free time, in order to pass the time, Hong Xiaolian often read some entertainment gossip. Once, Hong Xiaolian was watching gossip and was seen by Li Ka-shing, and Li Ka-shing said to her: "There is nothing nutritious to see those things." Hong Xiaolian listened to it at that time, and was still very angry, thinking that you take care of me, and what you do in your spare time is my freedom.
Who knows that since then, Li Ka-shing has often communicated with her more projects and views on the development of the industry. Under the influence of Li Ka-shing, Hong Xiaolian spent more and more time on further study and self-improvement. So later, gradually, with the improvement of personal ability, Hong Xiaolian gradually grew into Li Ka-shing's right and left arm, a powerful general.
So you see, a person who inputs information into his brain, he will gradually become that kind of person. Therefore, what books a person usually reads can almost predict his future direction.
Therefore, from the perspective of finding a partner, when in love, knowing more about what books he likes to read can also help us judge whether this person is worth marrying.
Write at the end
Franklin said: "Eyes should be round before marriage, eyes should be half open after marriage", which is to tell us that before marriage, we must open our eyes and carefully screen, in order to make the right choice in marriage events.
And Mr. Zeng Shiqiang told us these four points:
Going to the other person's home to see, see what friends he usually likes to make and what he loves to do, see how he gets along with his neighbors, and see what books he usually reads, can be used as an important basis for us to make judgments before marriage and help us make the right choices.