01
People who failed in their first marriage always want to prove themselves with a second marriage. Most people are reluctant to admit that the failure of their first marriage was self-inflicted, and everyone is eager to start a happy marriage again.
Although everyone also agrees that "the husband and wife are still good for the original", the first marriage has become a thing of the past, so everyone can only hope that they are the lucky one, lucky enough to meet a better other half in the second marriage and start a happy married life.
But after remarriage, it is not easy to live happily ever after. Whether you live happily or not depends on whether you have the wisdom of life. Of course, it also matters whether you meet the right person.
Therefore, if a woman remarries, there are two things that must be agreed upon before marriage. Otherwise, women are easy to repeat the same mistakes, and some people remarry even worse than the previous marriage.
02
The incident of Liu Xiaoli (pseudonym) is very representative. After her first marriage ended in failure, she hurriedly remarried again. The failure of her first marriage was not because of the insertion of a third party, nor because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and there was no particularly big contradiction, but it was those trivial things, and again and again small quarrels that could not even remember the cause, which brought their marriage to an end.
Liu Xiaoli is reluctant to admit that it is her own problem, and she does not want to indulge in the past all the time, she needs a new life. She believes that her second marriage will never end as hastily as her first.
So, she met her second husband under the introduction of a friend, because she was a divorced woman with children, so she did not think of finding a young man who had never been married, she was looking for a man who was also divorced with children.
The other party's family conditions are good, the work is OK, at least it will not drag her down, and the person looks good, and his family is not that kind of difficult character. So she married. She thought very simply, thinking that as long as people are good, the family is not looking for trouble, and the economic conditions are OK, then there should not be too much contradiction between them.
At least this man looks more diligent and generous than her ex-husband, so she is still confident in her second marriage. But after she really got married and lived together, she found that it was that she thought too simple.
Obviously, both of them are at work, but he just doesn't do housework, and all the housework has become her business, not only that, she also has to help him take care of his son, even the pick-up and drop-off is her business.
When she said that she was tired alone and asked him to share these things, he went so far as to say that his mother was responsible for these things when he was without her, that he had never done these things himself, and that he did not want to be more tired after marriage than before marriage. That means that if you can live, you can live, and if you can't get by, don't live.
She choked speechlessly! This is not the most excessive, the most excessive is that he obviously has a salary, that is, he never takes it to the family, not even the household. Originally, her salary was only responsible for her and her children's expenses, but after remarriage, she was even responsible for the spending of her remarried husband and her husband's children.
She couldn't stand it for two months, mainly because of her mental imbalance. She didn't think about helping the other party manage the money. The second marriage, each has children, if you propose to help each other manage money, it is a little bad. Therefore, she just offered to ask the other party to give some family use, after all, she could not really rely on her to support a large family.
But the other party said that she lived in his house with her daughter, so she should be responsible for the family's daily expenses. She instantly realized that she had done something wrong. She should explain the division of labor after marriage with the other party before marriage, and explain how to manage money and how to pay for it.
If it had been clearly negotiated before marriage, it would not have happened. She was really sorry for the beginning. So, it's not that simple for a woman to remarry: there are two things that must be agreed upon before marriage.
03
The first thing: No matter how big or small things are, the division of labor after marriage should be clarified.
When a woman remarries, she must be more cautious than when she first married, because the probability of remarriage stepping on the thunder is much higher than the probability of stepping on the thunder in the first marriage. When they first get married, many people will not think too much about the real problems, and they will get married under the drive of feelings. But remarriage is not the first marriage, because there has been a failed marriage, so everyone will be more cautious, after marriage will also be wary of each other, to put it bluntly, that is, after marriage will guard against each other.
Moreover, remarriage is more calculating than the first marriage, when the first marriage, the feelings between the two people are relatively pure, today I do more, tomorrow you do less, a smile will pass, at most it is noisy, no one will really hate each other. But the remarriage relationship is different, the combination of two people is the result of weighing the pros and cons, and remarriage is rarely the kind of person who loves each other to love each other to the end of the marriage.
Therefore, remarried couples, after marriage, it is easy to make trouble because of the uneven division of labor, and even create gaps, Liu Xiaoli's story is a living example. Therefore, if you want to avoid this situation, the best way is to clarify the division of labor after marriage before marriage, no matter how big or small things are.
04
The second thing: income and expenditure, how to manage money should be explained.
When getting married for the first time, it is easy for a woman to say her request to manage money, because there is not much to worry about, she feels that this requirement is very normal, after all, two people will be a family in the future and will live together for a lifetime.
But it is difficult for women to open this mouth when they are married for the second time, especially if both parties have children. If this is proposed that she manage the money after marriage as soon as she comes up, it will appear that she is a beggar. If there is no deep emotional foundation, then this kind of words can really not be said.
In fact, women do not have to manage money, whether money is secondary, they are afraid that women will get married without mentioning anything, and then they will encounter a situation like Liu Xiaoli after marriage. Some things really have to be guarded against. Although it is indeed very tiring and hurtful to go, it is better than being hurt after marriage.
Therefore, when a woman remarries, she must explain her income and expenditure to the other party before marriage, and how to manage the money. Even if the final negotiation is to take care of each other in the future, it is better than getting married in a vacuum and then passively accepting this result after marriage.
In marriage, the most terrible thing is the uneven atmosphere in the heart, if it is clear before marriage, there will be no unfairness in the heart after marriage, but if it is not clear before marriage, and then after marriage, you will be in charge of each other, then no one will feel good in their hearts, and gradually there will be unevenness, which will bring devastating effects to this marriage.
Therefore, many times, the same result, the order of occurrence is different, the impact on people will be different. Therefore, it is important to explain the income and expenditure before marriage, and how to manage the money.
05
A woman has had a failed marriage, there must be trauma in the heart, and if you want to repair the wounds in your heart, you can't hurt it. Therefore, women must be cautious and cautious when dealing with the second marriage.
Women must consider all aspects before marriage, and kill all unfavorable factors in the cradle.
When a woman remarries, she must be thinking of living a lifetime with the person who remarried, after all, no one wants to try to marry three times. Therefore, women will also be more cautious when getting along with their remarried husbands after remarriage, because women do not want to make the other party feel unhappy.
Everyone can understand women's ideas, but it is better to be unhappy before marriage than to be unhappy after marriage. Before marriage, put all kinds of things on the surface to make it clear, so that at most, it will cause men to be unhappy, but if you do not say the division of labor and the management of money before marriage, after marriage, find that all things are not in line with your wishes, it is not only unpleasant.
If the other party does not take the stubble at all, or refuses to cooperate, the woman may be dissatisfied in her heart, she will have a sense of gap, this sense of gap will make her more and more disgusted with this marriage, so that the woman's second marriage is estimated to come to an end.
So, when a woman remarries, there are two things that must be agreed upon before getting married. This is important.
Text/Fenghua