A student asked me in class, what is the connotation of the philosophy of love? My reply, people love me the most. The so-called "I love you" is because I love you because I love you. I don't love you when I don't want to, or don't need to love you. Love, therefore, is the most extreme expression of self-selfishness. In fact, what people love most is not you, of course, not others, and the most loved is myself.
--Nan Huaijin
Ru loves my heart, and I pity Ru Se, because it is a cause, and after a thousand disasters, it is always entangled.
20 words, the Tao exhausted the essence of love.
Even if we know that the so-called love is only a self-centered craving that "with him, I can not be lonely and lonely, have a sense of security, and have happiness", it is even more difficult to detach from this love and grow.
Whether it is a common man or a high monk, there is no difference in the depths of love. But after tossing and turning in the love network, the latter is very different from the former. Today, Stranger and Xiao Ling will tell you about the mental journey of the three senior monks, and talk about how we should love as ordinary people.
1
Love is compassion
Hongyi Master Hongyi Master Li Shutong is a famous chinese artist and Buddhist monk. He was a young man with great ambitions, middle-aged talents, and great virtues in his later years, and no one has ever been able to think and admire the world with his proud talent and wisdom at the same time.
Yes, he knows love. The end of the sky
The Corner of the Earth
Half-lost
A pot of turbid wine is enough to be enjoyed
Don't dream of cold tonight...
He lamented that life is rare to be happy, but there are many parts. However, he chose to leave.
In a letter to his wife, he wrote:
"I understand that it is up to you to accept the pain and despair of losing someone with whom you have a deep relationship. But you are extraordinary... What dwells inside you is not a vulgar, cowardly soul...
To make such a decision, it is not my lack of righteousness, I let go of everything for the more eternal and difficult process of enlightenment. Also put down you..." The wife still asked to see him for the last time, so in the early morning, the misty West Lake, the two boats facing each other, the boat people had this conversation:
Makoto: "Shu Tong—" Li Shu Tong: "Please call me Hongyi."
Makoto: "Master Koichi, please tell me what love is?"
Li Shutong: "Love is compassion."
An affectionate and talented man, but willing to accompany the green lantern ancient Buddha for life, and finally turned the lingering and compassionate dream of the world into a dream life that can be broken...
Quietly listen to a farewell song, and then savor a song of empty valley Youlan, you can feel the kind of deep growth that allows the soul to break through the miserable and dreamlike children's love and enter the vast and far-reaching world...
Even if there is a red face, a hundred lives and a thousand disasters
It is difficult to dispel the king's heart and eternal sorrow
Top of Qingfeng Mountain A mountain outside the mountain
The sunset shines silently, and the starry night is sleepless
A glimpse of the illusion
The song ends with a mixture of sorrow and joy
Between sunsets, the day outside the sky
Plum blossoms are quiet and independent spring cold
In the red dust your supreme coolness
Silence and light Silently illuminate the world
Walk like the wind like a jun riding the dust
The Empty Valley Is Ringing Who's Listening To this day
A thought of purifying the heart, flowers bloom all over the world
Every desperate situation, the peak circuit turns again
But by pure faith, you can do it yourself
It's like waking up from a dream and returning home in front of you
Walk to the end of the world, in the silent landscape
Listen to the evening breeze blowing willow flutes
Stepping on the mangshoe smoke and rain let the life be peaceful
Wise and courageous, the study of Chang Heng Wuji
……
2
True lovers will not suffer
A teacher who is admired by many people said, "What we call love is balance."
When you think you're in love, in fact, you've been trying to keep the break even, and I mean the break even on love. Of course it doesn't refer entirely to money, it's very broad, and I can give you an example: if you kiss your lover every day and he never initiates kissing you, after a while, you will feel unbalanced. You will doubt his love for you. I'm referring to a break-even like one.
When we argue, we will say: I have paid so much for this family, but what about you?
This means that we have been calculating, trying to maintain the balance of payments on the emotional side. Even the purest love is not exempt from the world, because we have a self, and we need to feed ourselves. This makes it impossible for us to concentrate on love, to love without distraction. We kissed each other with calculators in our hands.
True lovers will not have pain
"If we can love someone without even the most precious life, when the other party finds another person who can give him more happiness, why should we be angry, angry, or even lose both?" This is not to give an excuse to negative people, but to hope that everyone can really reflect on what they say about "love"? ”
"A person whose heart is full of true love has no troubles, no pain." In true love, without self, without greed, how can it be bitter?
3
Love is growth
She looks like Guanyin, quiet, compassionate, beautiful... I didn't understand what was going on, but I knew my peace was disturbed. I wanted to write poetry, but I couldn't write a single line. This is the heart of a young monk after meeting the beautiful nun.
In her there was everything he longed for and cherished. He read his heart, "I know I'm in love with her. I just wanted to be with her, to sit next to her, to see her. She understood him too. As a monk he knows that "it is a story of precepts, mindfulness, the sangha, bodhichitta and self-improvement." He controlled." Something powerful in my heart was protecting her, and myself.... ”
He said that "the best way to maintain love between us is to be true to ourselves, to grow well, to have less attachment, and to bloom the flower of compassion"... She still exists in my life in some way... I tell this story no differently than I speak of the Diamond Sutra. ”
In the red dust, how should we love
In life, everyone attributes the failure or disharmony of marriage to the other person, thinking that "he is not suitable for me". But Kristen Emmenik, a Ph.D. in consulting psychology at the University of Kansas, believes that the truth of marriage is: "There is no right couple in this world!"
The misunderstanding of "fit" is deeply rooted, because we deeply desire that as long as we find the right person, life will be once and for all, because "true love can overcome all difficulties and obstacles." However, the harsh reality is that no two people in the world are exactly the same, and everyone has different personalities and interests.
Obviously, it is very unreliable to pin the expectation of happiness on finding the right person, or transforming the other party into the right person. Instead of changing others, change yourself.
When you no longer force your lover to look at you instead of playing with your phone, when you no longer direct what your lover does and what not to do, and your heart is full of ease, love is in your heart.
When we are wet, if it is poured by rain, no one will lose their temper, and if it is splashed by a lover, it can be earth-shattering. When we are alone, we can be at ease, and when we are with our lover, we want him to accompany us to chat, play with, and be angry, because he is "me".
"Everything has a way, like a dream bubble", this sentence is not an excuse to let go of human responsibilities, but the key to open the door of compassion.