There is a saying in the Analects: "Parents can do their best." It means filial piety to parents, to do everything within their own capabilities. Indeed, it should be the case that the parenting grace of parents for their children is heavier than the mountain. It is a shame for those who are children to be filial to their parents when they are old.
There is also a saying in the "Disciple Rules": "The first filial piety, the second sincere faith." The first mention is filial piety. The so-called "filial piety comes first", which shows that filial piety to parents is not only a traditional virtue, but also the foundation of people. It's just as parents raise their children, not only to eat and wear warmly, but also to ignore them at the specified time, filial piety to parents is not an overnight thing.
Especially when our parents are old and sickly, we will find that we have more than enough and insufficient strength. At this time, there will be many people who will transfer part of the obligation of filial piety to their parents to their partners. In fact, filial piety to your partner's parents is also deserved to a certain extent. If you had inherited the kindness of your elders, you would have been even more willing.
However, in this world, there are some people who do not understand the nature of marriage and do not understand that all emotional relationships are "exchanges" between you and me. Before that, help your parents deal with your partner until your parents need to take care of them. He also wants to pass on the obligation, or simply wants a good reputation himself, but throws the obligation to his partner. How many people can accept such a double standard thing?
Liao Chunmei was 20 years old, and Chen Jian in a neighboring village, her parents, at first did not agree to the relationship, because the two families are not right. However, Liao Chunmei could not listen to the big truth in her parents' mouths, she felt that Jian Chen's commitment was the marriage she wanted, and she refused to break up.
In this way, the two families pulled for about a year, and the marriage was finally decided, because Liao Chunmei was pregnant. At that time, getting pregnant before marriage was not a glorious thing. When her parents heard the news, they were angry and could only nod their heads in agreement. Liao Chunmei was happy and broken, she did not realize at that time, Chen Jian was complacent about raw rice cooked mature rice, and the future mother-in-law did not have to give a bride price for unmarried pregnancy. These tactics are calculated, not sincere.
Zhuangzi once said: "If the machine is stored in the chest, it is pure white and not prepared." This means that once a person has an opportunistic mind, he will destroy the original pure quality. Chen Jian and his mother calculated Liao Chunmei, and in order to achieve their goal, they did not hesitate to let Liao Chunmei get pregnant before marriage. Using Liao Chunmei's reputation as a chip, it can be seen how vicious the two people's calculating hearts are.
Liao Chunmei realized that she had been calculated after she got married. A few days after marriage, the mother-in-law proposed that it was not easy for her son to earn money to support the family, and there could be no one in the family who ate idle meals. The implication is that Liao Chunmei, who is pregnant, also wants to earn money to support herself. Chen Jian also helped next to him, saying: "You can't go to work now, just use the dowry first, you can rest assured, I will also bear half of the family's household." ”
At that time, there was no AA system, and Liao Chunmei only later understood that this was not the AA system after marriage? After marriage, the husband and wife should have been one, and Chen Jian's practice was too unkind and too calculating. Liao Chunmei thought about divorce, but she was reluctant to have the child in her belly, and she was even more embarrassed to mention divorce to her mother's family.
Parents, who originally had a little preference for sons and daughters, could accept no bride price and prepare some dowries for themselves, which was not easy. At the beginning, he did not hesitate to marry the person who was pregnant before marriage, and now he said that he wanted to divorce, and the shameful thing let the parents of the mother experience twice. Liao Chunmei knew that she would definitely be insulted when she thought about it. She could only grit her teeth and endure, so she used the dowry brought by her mother's family to support her own living expenses until the birth of the child.
To tell the truth, if it was only like this, maybe Liao Chunmei would not be so indifferent to her mother-in-law later. But she gave birth to a daughter, and in the confinement, she not only did not get the care of her mother-in-law, but was instead a variety of difficulties. Not to mention that on the day of childbirth, she heard her mother-in-law say countless times that she would keep the child no matter what. If Liao Chunmei hadn't given birth successfully later, she wouldn't have dared to imagine that if it was difficult to give birth, she would still have the life to raise her child.
After this incident, Liao Chunmei was completely indifferent to her mother-in-law, and Chen Jian also made up for the key step at this time, tearing off the only remaining love between the two. After his father-in-law fell ill, Jian Chen suddenly felt that he and his wife were only separated in terms of family living expenses, and he suffered a loss.
Because she only has an old mother to take care of, and Liao Chunmei not only has both parents alive, but also has a younger brother. Therefore, in the agreement between the two, Chen Jian added all the communication expenses of their relatives and friends, and they were responsible for their respective parties. Chen Jian may not have dreamed that in order to pinch Liao Chunmei, he listed the details of the expenses of the two people every month and these accounts signed by both parties, which would make him unable to move Liao Chunmei's savings when he finally divorced.
Liao Chunmei rushed out to work when her child was three months old, because she had no money in her hands. She knew that her blind husband would not "raise" her and her children. She cheekily left the child in the care of her mother's parents, and then took a part of her salary to help her brother in exchange for her brother and daughter-in-law, acquiescing to her abandonment of the child to her mother-in-law.
In this way, Liao Chunmei and Chen Jian turned their marriage into a real "respectful as guests", and the two became the most familiar strangers. Time flew by, and soon the two reached retirement age, and their daughter grew up. Liao Chunmei has been working very hard, just like her mother-in-law originally ridiculed, she can only rely on herself. So now she not only has a relatively high retirement salary, but also has a lot of savings, and her life is very comfortable.
On the other hand, Chen Jian, a person, calculates everything about his wife and his own daughter, but in his work, he is calculated by others. So after a lifetime of mixing, there is not much money in the pocket, and there is not much retirement salary. The old mother is also sick, and Chen Jian can't ignore it, so the days are very tense. Originally, it was just like this, he could still hold on, but after the old mother fell and was paralyzed, he couldn't hold on.
At this time, he thought of his wife, not only hoping that her wife would take care of her mother-in-law, but also said to her that her money was considered the joint property of the husband and wife, and she needed to take it out to treat her mother-in-law. Liao Chunmei did not quarrel with Jian Chen, she just secretly packed up her clothes, brought with her ledger signed by both sides for so many years, and "ran away from home" on the day her mother-in-law was discharged.
When Jian Chen returned home, he saw that his wife was gone, dumbfounded. When he learned from his daughter that his wife had actually gone on a tour, he was even more angry. He had thought that the request he had made a few days ago, but his wife did not refuse, even if it was agreed. Who knew that his wife, whom he had looked down on all his life, had actually given him this trick.
He called Liao Chunmei and said that she was not filial and had no conscience. The mother-in-law was also nearby, vaguely accusing the daughter-in-law. Liao Chunmei replied with a smile: "At the beginning, your mother and son proposed it, even if you get married, your life will still have to go your separate way." It is also that you decided that your parents were responsible for each other, so what I am doing now is that I have no conscience and no filial piety, and we can't break the rules. ”
After Liao Chunmei returned from a trip, she filed for divorce, and the ledger between the two allowed Chen Jian to share less than a little of Liao Chunmei's savings. Listening to her daughter say that after Chen Jian's divorce, life was difficult, and her mother, who had been strong all her life, had a more grumpy temper after being paralyzed. Jian Chen was distressed, and he said bad things about Liao Chunmei everywhere. But Liao Chunmei is all smiling, she is a bittersweet, for her ex-husband, whether it is good or bad, she does not care at all.
There is a sentence in "Dream of the Red Chamber": "The organs are too clever to calculate, but they have mistaken Qingqing's life." "Expressed that for the sake of profit, he tried his best to calculate others, but in the end he ended up with a tragic ending." Just like the male protagonist in the text, calculate feelings, calculate wives. In exchange for his wife's affection, he only wanted a free nanny. However, the calculation was overdone, and finally I put myself in it.
Life in the world, running for profit, is an objective phenomenon. A person, in the face of interests, weighs the pros and cons, calculates gains and losses, it is still normal. If you are too shrewd, and even use the heart of calculation to your feelings, the final result will often not be as you wish.
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