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"Heart Residence", once played, it is very hot.
It is not an idol drama where love is supreme, nor is it an idealistic family drama, it is a realistic piece, and each character has its own shadow of the audience.
Among the many characters, Feng Xiaoqin is the most vivid and the most miserable.
She is just a small person, not so much that she is the heroine of this play, but that she is everyone.
Her marriage has given everyone many warnings, and from her we can capture the 5 major truths of marriage and love, each of which is very realistic.
01 Gao Pan's marriage is destined to be "inferior"
Feng Xiaoqin is a daughter-in-law from abroad, and it was not easy to stay in Shanghai through marriage.
In the eyes of outsiders, she is a successful person who changes her fate through marriage, but in the eyes of her in-laws, she will always be the daughter-in-law who is not worthy of their family.
She quit her job to be a full-time wife, washed and cooked every day, took care of the elderly and children, and served the family like an all-round nanny.
But even so, the whole family was still guarding against her.
Gu Qingyu went home for her birthday, Feng Xiaoqin instigated her husband to borrow money from her, Gu Qingyu refused on the grounds that he also wanted to buy a house.
After eating, Feng Xiaoqin and her sister went to the kitchen to wash the dishes, but the third grandfather entered the room and held a small meeting, talking about the problem of borrowing money or not.
Ming ming has been married for 8 years, but in their eyes, Feng Xiaoqin is always an outsider, and everything that the family wants to discuss is always behind her back.
And she couldn't do anything but complain a few words behind her back, and in front of them she was still the well-behaved and sensible daughter-in-law who worked hard and complained.
If Feng Xiaoqin is a native of Shanghai, her family will not lose to the Gu family, and the Gu family will not dare to treat her like this.
You think this is an opportunity to change your destiny, but the price of crossing the class is that you will do a small low pitch all your life and can't lift your head in front of your in-laws.
02 The more active you are before marriage, the more you are looked down upon after marriage
Gu Qingyu once said something like this: "I know that my brother's conditions are not good, but many years ago Feng Xiaoqin, a foreigner who was two years older than my brother, pursued him in a stalking way. Isn't it just that he is a native of Shanghai? ”
There are several key words in this sentence: "two years older", "stalking", "foreign", "Shanghai local".
Each revealed contempt for Feng Xiaoqin.
She took the initiative to pursue Gu Lei, giving people the feeling that they were in a hurry to marry into their family.
Even if Gu Lei is very incomplete, in the eyes of others, Feng Xiaoqin also has a plan.
Perhaps Feng Xiaoqin did pursue Gu Lei with a certain purpose, but her behavior has become a mark in her life, and she can't wash it off or shake it off.
Because of this move, she will always be looked down upon by her in-laws, and even lose momentum when quarrelling.
As long as she complains about her husband, the eldest sister Gu Qingyu will say lightly: "You knew that he was like this before you got married." ”
In an instant, all the words were blocked.
Women must not be too active in marriage, otherwise you will be looked down upon by your in-laws.
Because it is you who actively pursue him, so you can't complain, their family didn't ask you, you rushed to marry in.
This is how the in-laws feel about the overly active daughter-in-law.
You think you are pursuing true love, you think you dare to love and dare to hate, in fact, in the eyes of others, this is just a self-depreciation of the upside down behavior.
03The woman who married far away has no home
Feng Xiaoqin is a girl who is far away, and she came to this strange Shanghai alone.
Gu's father also said something sympathetic: "She is a little girl from out of town, alone in Shanghai, her parents are not around, and she can only complain to us when she is wronged." ”
But these few simple complaints were enough for Feng Xiaoqin to hold back for a full 8 years.
If she hadn't been able to suppress it, she wouldn't have erupted, but even if she had, she would have quickly apologized to her father-in-law and promised that such a thing would not happen again.
From her we see the humility of a woman, the humility of a daughter-in-law out of town.
In this vast Shanghai, she does not have a home of her own, her mother's family is thousands of miles away, and her in-laws always regard her as an outsider.
She could only live cautiously.
Women try not to marry far away, because this matter is far more poignant than you think.
After marrying far away, you will experience what is isolation, what is homelessness, and what is losing teeth and swallowing in your stomach.
04 "Family treasure man" is a taboo for mate selection
"Family treasure man" is an extension of "ma bao man", "ma bao man" refers to a man who never grows up and only listens to his mother's words, and "jiabao man" refers to a man who has no opinion and listens to his family in everything.
Gu Lei is the family treasure man, although he is more than thirty years old, he is extremely unsinkable, and he listens to the arrangements of his father and sister in everything.
He never had a heart for his daughter-in-law, and even if she said something to him behind her back, he would quickly convey it to his father and sister as it was.
The most terrible thing about the family treasure man is not that he does not stand on the side of the daughter-in-law, but that he does not know how to deal with family relations at all, and his two sides of the conversation will lead to the escalation of family conflicts.
If a woman is married to such a man, it is naturally impossible to have a happy marriage, because he has not yet grown up.
As long as his family is there, you will always be dispensable.
05 Never expect you to reinvent a man who is not a tool
Feng Xiaoqin's tragedy stems from the fact that she chose the wrong man, and she knew what kind of person Gu Lei was before she got married, but she still married without hesitation.
After getting married, she supervised his progress like a disciplined son, but Gu Lei repeatedly taught her, so that she could not see hope at all.
How can a man who is loose and habitual suddenly become self-motivated?
The ancients often said: "The country is easy to change, and the nature is difficult to move." ”
A person's personality has been cultivated, which is so easy to change?
Women don't want to transform a man who is not a tool in the first place, because when he sees old age at the age of three, he has already been stereotyped.
Smart women choose their spouses, only choose and do not transform.
Whatever kind of man you want to find, just follow the template, and never expect to turn stones into gold, because they are basically two different attributes.
epilogue:
TV dramas come from life and are higher than life, and truly realistic TV dramas often reflect the original appearance of real life.
Marriage is not only a major event in life, but also a turning point in a woman's life.
Some of the truths of marriage and love are known to everyone early, and we must not regret it after falling into the pit.
Life is a one-way journey, and you don't have a return ticket.
I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.