Last week, the California Silicon Valley scumbag incident swept the screen in the mother group, and it also won the hot search of the social list. Many mothers are on the road to ligature with their husbands after seeing this incident, and it is said that many lawyers in North America have received trust and will cases these days. Let's sort out the context of the events and see what we can learn.
(Image from the Internet)
A Chinese couple in the United States, both employees of a large factory, have been married for nearly 20 years and have a son and a daughter. In 2020, his wife unfortunately suffered from stomach cancer and died in May 2021. A month after his wife's death, the Silicon Valley husband registered his marriage with his new wife, who had known him for only nine days, and in August, the new wife moved into the old house where the deceased wife had lived, and in September the new wife became pregnant. What is even more exaggerated is that the Silicon Valley husband not only did not give his ex-wife's parents a full pension to enjoy his old age, but also called the police to expel the two elderly people from the country on the grounds that his ex-wife's parents interfered with his new family, and the most heinous thing is still behind. Because he was worried about the cost of the cemetery, he first buried the ashes of his ex-wife in his garden, and after being reported by the neighbors, he actually flushed the ashes into the sewer.
The plot of this dog's blood really makes a lot of blood in the mother group, especially the mothers who raise their daughters, who want to pay their own tickets to the other side of the ocean to teach this inhuman scumbag. In addition to being angry, I also thought deeply about what is a better chicken baby.
For the mother who has a daughter, I was also poked by this scumbag who stood on the bottom line of the law, and hit the most insecure place in my heart. In the face of the child's future, when we can't reach the timely, where should the child go?
Thinking about it, not being a parent with a sense of powerlessness, or starting from letting the child understand the worldliness of the world.
01
To have children emotional,
Retain a bit of worldly sobriety
In the world, the greatest worldliness is to talk about money. However, in the face of many unknowns in the world, it is undeniable that talking about money is the best protection for oneself and one's loved ones, including marriage.
Netizens disclosed that the unfortunate deceased wife and scumbag husband's house in the Bay Area were worth $4.5 million, in addition to 5 other properties, while the scumbag husband's annual income is expected to be at least $400,000 or so, and the wife's annual income is at least $200,000. Because of his wife's death, the scumbag husband and their children will also receive at least $2 million in compensation from the wife's company.
Compared with the above assets of at least 10 million US dollars, in the context of the epidemic, the total number of tickets for the return of two elderly people who lost their only daughter to China is up to about 40,000 US dollars, and the cemetery in the Bay Area is up to 20,000 US dollars.
If this wife, in these 20 years of daily life, has the courage to talk about money, do a good job of property planning and will distribution, she will not give the scumbag an opportunity. Although human nature cannot be constrained by law and morality, at least the future of two children is guaranteed, and the parents do not have to be old and helpless, and they can also be buried as soon as possible.
Our traditional education is accustomed to talking about money means being ruthless. But the world is diverse, there are always dark corners outside the sun, and the inclusive dedication of altruists always collides with the selfish greed of egoists.
As parents, we cannot accompany our children to grow up forever, so we can only help them understand the whole world as soon as possible, so that they can retain the ability and means to protect themselves, including money, while maintaining the kindness and principles of being human.
In addition to the security of property independence, the independence and self-confidence of the child's spiritual world are also very important.
02
Ask your child to polish their eyes and identify love and manipulation
In recent years, examples of PUA in campuses, workplaces, and emotions have abounded, and PUA has become one of the hot words on the Internet that has been repeatedly discussed. Some people have concluded that the current application context, scope and meaning of PUA have long exceeded the original meaning of the word "accost artist" between men and women, and more is that the manipulator deliberately distorts the facts and adopts continuous means such as demeaning, denying, misleading and deceiving, so that the manipulated person seriously doubts the ability and value of the self, and then achieves the purpose of obeying the manipulator.
This can't help but remind me of the incident when Xiao Bao, a junior girl at Peking University, was mentally controlled by her boyfriend until she committed suicide.
Before Xiao Bao committed suicide, he was a junior at Peking University Law School. To be admitted to this top institution, there is no doubt about the excellence of the small package. But who would have thought that under the accusations, demeaning and manipulation of her boyfriend for more than a year, Xiao Bao had changed from a lively and cheerful girl to a doll at the mercy of others, and actually said the self-evaluation of "I am a garbage, a worthless girl", and finally ended her young life and left her parents forever.
The future, full of infinite possibilities, is thus broken under the clutches of love.
This tragic case also tells us that in addition to academic performance, it is also important to help children develop an independent and confident personality. As Meyer Musk, author of "Life by Me," said, you don't always have to follow what others expect of you.
The road of life is not always smooth, and life is not always full of flowers. In the face of critical accusations, we must learn to distinguish whether this is a ardent expectation born of love or a gentle trap laid for manipulation.
While helping children stay away from harm, we should not be accomplices in the name of love.
03
Don't force your child,
Standing alone on the high ground of intelligence
There is a video on Zhihu with the theme called "The Collapse of the Subject." ”
(Video footage from Zhihu)
A young man sat in front of the camera and talked like a dream. He was admitted to Peking University from Changsha at the age of 15, and chose the major that his friends and family aspired to at the arrangement of his parents. Soon, compared with the teenager Dezhi at the time of the college entrance examination, this self-proclaimed "problem maker" teenager could not play his strengths in learning, and in life, he could not integrate into the circle of classmates. This series of huge drops from the pride of heaven to the unattractive made him fall into depression. He said that at that time, on the one hand, he wanted to grow up according to his parents' expectations, and on the other hand, he was torn apart. In desperation, in his junior year, he applied to withdraw from school.
After dropping out of school and returning home, he also fell into a deep confusion. Don't eat, don't see your parents, shut yourself in your room, think repeatedly about what you have done wrong in the past ten years, and where did your spirit go? Will you be able to integrate into society in the future like others?
Fortunately, a year of re-study life allowed him to reconstruct himself, not only restored his self-confidence, found a better way to get along with people, but also entered Tsinghua University as a college entrance examination winner in Hunan Province.
Tsinghua, Peking University, how many people dream of the top domestic universities, the two college entrance examinations in the two schools freely choose, which proves the video protagonist's extraordinary IQ, but because of the lack of human sophistication, he also thoroughly felt the whipping from society.
After a difficult remodeling experience, the leader of the chicken doll's achievements not only sighed: don't alienate the owner of the number of human components.
Scores are an important measure of a child's learning outcomes, but they can never measure a child's wholeness. As parents, we should pay more attention to the overall growth of our children, rather than grasping for grades and academic qualifications. Don't let your child become a giant in academics, a dwarf in human nature.
May our dolls face the world with seven passions and three points of reason, gentle and courageous, confident and independent.
Like articles, pay attention to the public account of nutrients (id: yangliao99), get more updated articles, and communicate with tens of millions of parents about the experience of raising children.