Middle-aged parents in large factories are caught in the dilemma of work and children

Recently, a workplace mother's complaint rushed to the hot search of Zhihu: when the child was 5 years old, she saw that the child's academic performance was stable and her study habits were excellent, in order to subsidize the family, she had to go to work in a field 300 kilometers away from home, and saw the child once a month to once a month, but found that after she let go, the child's academic performance plummeted, and the school entrance exam did not fail.

She suddenly fell into a dilemma: if she chooses to accompany and educate her children well, she must give up her current job with an annual salary of more than 200,000 yuan, and when her children grow up, she will have no ability to earn money; Choosing to put down her children, and she may not be able to afford the consequences of her children's poor learning, she wants to balance her career and family at the same time, but she finds it difficult.

01

Caught in a dilemma between work and children

In this super involuted society, after all, the people who can survive without work are still a minority, and the vast majority of people need to do their best to earn food and clothing, including many large factory employees whose job opportunities and incomes seem to be much better than the vast majority.

"Once the byte is as deep as the sea, the family has changed from now on." More than 100,000 employees working in ByteDance, they are all kidnapped and dominated by all kinds of data, like machines are monitored and controlled by the company all the time, which is a group of "fighting beasts" trapped in numbers.

Xiaotian is one of these employees, he works overtime every day until he is dizzy, and when he sees the messages of colleagues in the work group, he sometimes feels a little relieved, it turns out that he is not fighting alone, everyone is busy and struggling non-stop, because as long as he can't continue to create value for the company after idleness, he will be eliminated.

He can no longer distinguish between work and life, often at three or four o'clock in the morning and receive urgent calls from the company, although it seems that he can freely choose whether to work overtime, but he still has to have various meetings when he goes home, even the night before his wedding, he stayed up late and worked overtime until two o'clock in the morning to process various work information.

Even if he works so hard, he still can't exchange for a trace of job security, every six months will face a test of survival, fail to meet the established company indicators, performance appraisal and salary bonus will be affected, these are like an invisible whip pumping him constantly rotating work, serious involution makes his body frequently light red, the latest physical examination, his body has more than 10 indicators exceeded the standard.

Xiaotian is just a microcosm of countless employees of large factories, who are engaged in high-intensity mental and physical work, facing the high pressure and anxiety that may be eliminated at any time, there is no money when they put down the hand that moves bricks, and they have no time to accompany their families and children when they pick up the hand that moves bricks.

Which is important to earn money or raise children is like two ends of the scale, and there is simply no balance. Life needs money, children need companionship, most people travel day and night on the road to make a living, not everyone can do both.

02

Money cannot replace the company of parents

Some people choose that earning money is important, they think that children can grow up without companionship, and they pay a heavy price for their prejudices.

As business executives, you are likely to neglect or even abandon your family and children, and according to a new McKinsey study, employees with child-rearing burdens, especially women, struggle to advance the career ladder; 29% of male executives and 54% of female executives have no children; One-third of these childless executives remain single for women and one-sixth for men.

Trying to balance the hard work and life, every professional understands, there are many excellent female friends around, in order to be promoted in the workplace, they have to choose a good day when they have children, otherwise no matter how much effort they have put in their work before, they have to all return to zero and start over.

Having a child is only the first hurdle in life, and it takes time and energy to raise and teach children after giving birth, otherwise cultivate unconscious children, and when you grow up, you will doubt life every minute and regret giving birth to him.

There is a big factory couple who are both executives, although they now have only one child to give them a headache, they have been busy with their careers when their children were young, they have regarded the company as their home, and they have been working at full capacity for years, not only have physical problems, they have put their children in boarding schools since childhood, and neglected their children's education.

Now the child has entered junior high school, still muddy, academic performance is worrying, because of the long-term lack of companionship and communication with the child, the parent-child relationship between the couple and the child is particularly tense, often unable to say a few words The child begins to talk back.

Recently, I knew a friend who worked in the media, she was a middle level in the company, once had a meal together, a group of people gathered around the dinner table to stagger, only she has been calling her superiors to report work, when asked how many grades the child is now, she suddenly paused and couldn't answer. He also said that he was often informed by teachers about his children's interpersonal and grade problems at school.

It is important to come out to make money, but it is also important to accompany the child, you accompany the child for so many years, do not accompany the child, he learns badly, grows, this life can not be repeated, delay may be the child's life.

03

What is the best solution for the second half of life?

Is it really impossible to have both work and family? In fact, parents also know the importance of accompanying their children, but most of the time they ignore it because the work is really busy.

Liu Xiaoxi in "Lady's Character" is in her 20s, and she was calculated by her husband and mother-in-law to have a child shortly after working, and the colleagues who entered the company with her were all promoted to become small leaders, only she was marginalized by the company because of giving birth to a baby and raising a baby, and her position in the company was very embarrassing.

One day, because her child swallowed the button by mistake, her husband was on a business trip, as long as she temporarily changed her plan to sign the contract, and urgently sent the child to the hospital and delayed work, causing the company to lose tens of millions of large orders, if it were not for her boss Yao Wei Libao, her job would have been lost.

Not only did she have to be busy with work, but she was also constantly accused by her mother-in-law of neglecting her family because of the intensity of her work. Her mother-in-law even asked her to give up her job to have a second child, and she lived herself as a hexagonal warrior.

So what is most important for the second half of our lives? Time is constantly filtering what does not belong to us, the first half of life carries the weight forward, and the second half requires us to travel light.

Now, some employees over 35 years old have also begun to live thoroughly, because of the mid-life crisis, there is no room for career growth, the work is not cost-effective, continue to stay in the big factory to leave stress and anxiety, as well as health frequently red lights on the tired body and other comprehensive factors, they choose to retire early, free up more time to spend with their families, find what they really love, and add new anchors to life.

In fact, the gesture of earning money is more important than earning money itself; The quality of spending time with children is more important than time. In the future, we must put more energy on self-growth and self-improvement, put the body first, stop taking life hard in everything, add to the mind, subtract from desire, stop acting, control desire, cultivate contentment, keep the joy, and harvest a happy and comfortable life.

*The pictures in the article come from the Internet