I was once again broken by the father-son relationship of the Zhou family.
Zhou Bingkun ignored Zhou Father for 3 years because of the "bad words" before his farewell at the Station, until he retired and returned home.
This can't help but remind me of Zhu Ziqing's work "Back Shadow", which is also a parting at the station, Zhu Ziqing looked at his father's waddling back and instantly understood his father's intentions. Father's love is like a mountain in the late autumn twilight, silent and stoic, now that he is older, his father's back has more vicissitudes, and the back of his efforts to climb up the platform to buy oranges for his son makes people cry.
I saw him wearing a small black cloth hat, a black cloth coat, and a dark green cloth cotton robe, waddling to the side of the railway, slowly leaning down, it was not too difficult. But he crossed the railway track, and it was not easy to climb the platform over there. He climbed up with both hands and lowered his feet; his fat body leaned slightly to the left, showing the appearance of effort. Then I saw his back, and my tears quickly flowed down.
The reason why Zhu Ziqing's description is regarded as a classic is that he uses a series of verbs "probe", "climb", "shrink", and "tilt" to depict the difficulty of his father crossing the platform. At that moment, Zhu Ziqing felt his father's love and reconciled with his father in his heart.
Unfortunately, not everyone is Zhu Ziqing, and not everyone can read his father's love.
They are all their own children, and there is no pain! Bingkun's words really hurt the old father's heart.
Bingkun he had low self-esteem, he knew that compared with his brother and sister, he was a child who did not show up, and he was indeed a child who did not come out.
From childhood, he did not like to read, he could not find a job when he grew up, he relied on the relationship of his brother and sister to mix with an errand in a soy sauce factory, and married a wife with no culture with a drag oil bottle.
But did Father Zhou blame him? Not really. Father Zhou is a person who understands things, otherwise he would not have truly accepted Zheng Juan, nor would he sincerely thank Bingkun for his dedication to the family for so many years.
Even though Bingkun is a child who has not yet appeared, he also loves Bingkun.
Bingkun's mistake was that he should not use power to describe his father, and he should not sneer at his brother, who was already struggling in Governor Hao's house, and he hurt his family because of his inferiority.
But isn't Father Zhou right? He was at fault!
Bingkun has a sentence that is really not wrong, Zhou Father's favorite child is Zhou Rong, and the most painful child is Zhou Bingyi.
Love is biased, and no parent can love indiscriminately. In fact, I can understand Father Zhou, who in the hearts of parents in the world does not expect their children to become jackie chan?
But most of the children are actually children like Zhou Bingkun.
We are inferior, sensitive and cowardly, we are afraid that our parents will compare us with other children, and our greatest desire is to be affirmed by our parents.
Bingkun did not correspond with his father for three years, and Zhou's father was also uncompromising. But how did Father Zhou treat his favorite child, Zhou Rong? Zhou Rong left a letter for love and left, and Zhou's father was also angry with her for several years, but the anger of hating iron and steel could not resist the thought of his daughter, and finally decided to visit his daughter in Guizhou.
In Zhou Rong's case, her domineering and authoritarian father chose to compromise. However, in the face of Zhou Bingkun, Zhou Father only took out his father's majesty and forced Bingkun to admit his mistakes again and again, and Bingkun of course did not accept it.
In that fierce father-son confrontation, Father Zhou has always emphasized that I am your father, so you can't snub me for three years because I did something wrong, and Bingkun thinks that my father ignores his feelings. The stubborn father and son fought each other in this quarrel, and had to fight for a right and wrong.
The Bingkun who sat on the bed with his head bowed and silently shed tears looked like me as a child.
I was also a child with low self-esteem and stubbornness, and this personality influence even lasted until I became an adult, and the reason was nothing more than the "mental suppression" of my parents.
I was also like Bingkun, a child who did not come out, with mediocre grades when I went to school, and could not become a child of other people's families in the mouth of my parents. I was good at drawing and playing chess, but it was a useless thing in the eyes of my parents. I do a good job and they think it is right, I do not do well will always usher in a "look, you are not someone else's strong" accusation.
As an adult, I lacked self-confidence, went to an ordinary private company, took an ordinary salary, and I may not have the opportunity to get the affirmation of my parents in this life.
Therefore, I can especially understand the breath that Zhou Bingkun held after being taught by Zhou's father, both the self-blame for his own pocket and the unwillingness to prove himself.
Until Father Zhou finally said: You are indeed the one who satisfies me the most of the three children in our Zhou family.
Bingkun finally swallowed this breath.
Father Zhou Bingkun reconciled, and I was slowly reconciling with my childhood self.