Hello everyone, today we are going to talk about how much divorced families hurt their children.
With the progress of society, the status of women is getting higher and higher, they no longer choose to swallow their anger in the face of unhappy marriages as before, most women will choose to divorce each other when they feel that married life is not happy and happy, divorce may be a relief for two people in an unhappy marriage, but parental divorce will cause very serious harm to the child, this harm may accompany the child's life.
So what are the psychological and behavioral problems of children in divorced families compared with children in ordinary families?
First of all, let's look at the child's psychological changes, probably most parents think that the child is still young, do not understand anything, divorce will not have any impact on them, in fact, when the child learns that the parents are about to divorce, the psychology will produce a lot of strange thoughts.
One. It's all my fault
Because the child's psychological development is not mature enough, they do not know what the reason for the parents' divorce is, they can not understand the parents because of emotional discord to choose the divorce, most of the children in the face of the parents divorce will think that this is all my fault, must be where I did not do well, provoked the parents to be angry, so when the children face the parents divorce will behave very obediently, they naively think that as long as they are obedient enough, the parents will not be separated, is it very painful?
Two. They're not my parents anymore
When children are still young, they take it for granted that once mom and dad are separated, they will no longer be their own mom and dad. Because in their cognition, mom and dad are a whole, so even if the child of a normal family, the parents must often keep in touch with the child or come back to see them regularly when they travel abroad.
Three. I became an orphan
Faced with parental divorce, children are often forced to choose to live with their father or mother. They will think that they have been abandoned by the other party, and they will feel that they will soon be abandoned by this party again, and they will become completely orphaned. Therefore, their hearts are very afraid.
The impact of parental divorce on children is not only reflected in the child's childhood, but also accompanies the child's life and affects the formation of the child's future three views.
So, what usually happens to children whose parents are divorced?
One. They tend to have feelings of inferiority, negativity, and lack of self-confidence and interest in things.
Dou Dad has a friend, his parents divorced when he was 10 years old, in his cognition, he will feel that his parents' divorce has a lot to do with his own lack of good, and when he grows up, he is also very inferior, thinking that he can't do anything well.
This psychological feeling of inferiority and negativity reflects the decline of his interpersonal skills, his unwillingness to communicate with his peers, and the difficulty of establishing intimate relationships with his partners.
In addition, such children are afraid to participate in group activities, and may always sit in the corner alone and watch others play, and they will think that others look down on themselves and are unwilling to play with themselves.
Especially when they see that their classmates have parents to accompany them, the psychological inferiority complex will be even heavier. At the same time, their lack of self-confidence is also reflected in their learning. Due to the fragmentation of the family, they lack a complete family education, the soul is also overshadowed, the academic performance is often generally low, and there may even be a phenomenon of broken jars.
Two. They are more likely to have emotional behavioral problems and form serious character defects.
Due to the incompleteness of the family, it leads to the incompleteness of the child's mind and character.
Because they can often only live with one of their fathers or mothers, fathers or mothers often have to bear not only their daily living expenses, but also their daily living, during the day in the unit to bear great work pressure, at night home to take care of children, even if you want to give them better education and care is often more than enough. In the long run, neglecting the discipline of children, children become more and more difficult to discipline, do not listen to parents, and even become irritable and irritable, fighting, smoking, and addicted to online games. In school, it is not good to study, often skip class and fight on the Internet, or even in school, it is not on the mind to study, disobey the discipline of teachers and parents, do not fit in with classmates, everything is self-centered, only a little thing that does not go according to their own wishes, it will jump like thunder.
Because of the departure of their parents, they will resent their parents or develop a dislike for the family, and over time, these children may go astray and be unacceptable to society and the general public.
Three. It is difficult for them to form a correct view of love and marriage when they grow up, and they will not deal with family marriage chores.
Because of the influence of family relations from childhood, they may witness the scene of their parents from mutual respect to mutual dislike, quarrel and even fight, resulting in their adult heart palpitations, their distrust of romantic relationships and marriage relationships, resulting in their future dare not enter marriage, or continuous tension, afraid that they will follow in the footsteps of their parents as well as their other half.
They don't want their children to go through everything they went through in their own childhood, so they are careful in their lives. On the other hand, they have been in a single-parent family since childhood, and their personality may be very inferior from an early age, and they dare not contact further out of inferiority when facing people they like.
The above point is only possible, and not all children of divorced families have such problems. If parents can properly raise their children, children may also be unaffected by their parents' divorce and continue their wonderful lives. So, as a parent, how can you avoid the impact of divorce on your children?
First of all, even if there is a problem in your marriage, out of the responsibility of parents, parents should avoid arguing or even fighting in front of their children, and find an opportunity to talk to their children about not being able to live with their parents at the same time in the future, so that children know that even if their parents do not live together, they will still be your eternal parents, and no one will abandon you, and tell the children that you still have the salvation to love him as before. Let the child understand that divorce is not their fault and avoid the child's guilt.
In addition, divorce is a matter for adults, as parents have the responsibility to create a good living environment for their children, even if parents do not want to see their ex again, but also to create space for children to be intimate with their other half. Have your child meet regularly with his mom or dad and stay in touch.
If possible, it is best to accompany the child to play games for a while, so that the child feels that his parents still love him as before.
Finally, most parents may re-start a family after divorce.
The acceptance of the new family to the child is also an important reason affecting the child's mental health, when choosing a new other half, you can refer to the child's opinion, it is best that both parties can accept each other's reorganization of the family is most conducive to the growth of the child.
If there are new children in the restructured family, it is also necessary to avoid the hostility of the child to the newborn brother or sister, as long as the parents give the child full love, the child will be able to accept everything in the new family and grow up healthy and happy.
Children are the new hope of the motherland and the future of the family. Society should also strengthen psychological counseling for children in divorced families, avoid psychological and behavioral problems, and enable every child to have a happy and healthy childhood.
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