Pay attention to the diary of the fish parenting do not get lost on the way to parenting
90% of people know that character determines fate, but what determines character, in fact, your character is determined by your childhood growth experience, so there is a saying called happy childhood can cure a lifetime, unfortunate childhood needs to be cured with a lifetime, I listed six types below that will have a huge impact on the child's personality, you can compare it, see if you have had this experience.
The first is that I am all for your own good, this type of parent will often use this kind of words to hypnotize their children, and such a child even if he is wronged in his heart even if he has a great emotion, even if he has a lot of anger, but he does not dare to vent it, why? Because my parents are for my own good, I am not qualified to refute, then this kind of person will always live in the eyes of others and the evaluation of others when he grows up, dare not have his own ideas, he lives very very tired, do not dare to have their own opinions, he will feel that I am always indebted to others, so such a person is both depressed and dare not break through.
The second is the language violence type, you see how I gave birth to you such a thing, how do you so stupid, many parents will use this kind of rough language to hurt their children, children who grow up in language violence are actually fundamentally negative of themselves, because the parents he has faced since he was a child always picked the nose and picked the bones in the egg, even if you do it well, he will find that you are not doing well, so after this kind of person grows up, he himself has no confidence in himself at the bottom and has no courage.
The third type is the growth path manipulation type, helping the child decide many major life events, such as what school to go to, what major to study, what job to do, and even who to marry, etc. Parents have arranged it, so that when the child grows up, he is likely to do things he does not like, and marries what he does not like to become what he does not like.
The fourth is the parents who are infected with vices, alcoholism, gambling and violence, etc., such children themselves will hate this vice, but the problem is that they are likely to be infected with this habit themselves, and there is also a possibility that this vice will also appear in the partner he is looking for, why? Subconsciously they are more familiar with this feeling, so they will be very painful and he will feel that life is a vicious circle.
The fifth type of physical abuse of parents, children who grow up under physical abuse will either be a tyrant or a slave in the future, why is it a tyrant, because the parents are so on to solve his problems with their fists, then why is it still possible to be a slave, it is the parents who cultivate him, so even if he is abused by domestic violence in marriage, he does not dare to break free.
The sixth is the parents who constantly quarrel, these two children quarrel every day, the children who grow up in this environment have no feelings for marriage, and even he is rejected by marriage, he does not believe that there will be happiness and sweetness in marriage, he does not believe that marriage can be maintained forever
Another point is more important, that is, we are the original family of our children, we don't want to repeat the same mistakes, we need to break out of that cycle and become a better version of ourselves. Of course, if you want to get out of that environment, everyone faces a different situation, which varies from person to person.
I'm a fish, like to pay attention, to understand more children, less anxiety