A topic initiated by a sister next to me caused everyone to discuss, "What is the experience of having a poisonous tongue parent?" ”
A girl with a slightly introverted personality in my impression replied: "My mother has been sneering at me from my small to large, no matter what, even after I fell in love, I had a boyfriend who loved me, and my mother would also say sarcastically, and I don't know how your boyfriend liked you." ”
From her narrative, she can deeply feel her pain and powerlessness, and she said that her mother's cold words and cold words from childhood have brought her great harm, so that she no longer dares to intersect too much with others, and is particularly resistant to interpersonal interactions.
So does this parent really not love her child? In fact, the answer is not necessarily, many times the parents' starting point is good, they will also worry about whether the child is hurt, so the subconscious wants to make a psychological preparation for the child in advance. Parents feel that they are intimate with their children, so they do not consider whether their children are willing to listen.
What effect will the parents' overly sharp poisonous words have on the children? These three points of harm, parents can not ignore!
First, verbal violence can easily make children become unconfident, either timid and afraid of things or irritable and irritable
Growing up in a cold-spoken environment for a long time, it is difficult for children's self-confidence not to be destroyed in such an environment. They will only subtly believe what their parents say, believing that they are really useless waste. And over time, children will also be affected by the parents' speaking habits, and then in the way of communication with their families, they will also talk like parents, and even children will find it difficult to change their own speech habits in society.
In a vicious circle, it is not only difficult for children to establish sincere and friendly relationships with others, but they may also educate the next generation in the same way as their parents. And the original intention of the parents may be to hate iron not steel, such a result is counterproductive.
Second, the language violence of parents can easily arouse children's "rebellious psychology."
"Sooner or later I will be angry with you if you do this again!" "You deserve to be mad!" Shut up my ass! ”
When the child is young, if the parent scolds the child twice, the child may suffer silently, but if the child grows up and gradually has his own ideas and consciousness, the parents will then be violent to the child's language, presumably the child will also begin to be immune to the parent's poisonous words under the influence of so many years, no matter what the parents say again, the child will no longer go to the heart.
Even children sometimes fight back with the same evil words, under the verbal attack of your words, the relationship between children and parents will naturally be precarious, and there is a rift between children and parents, and then it is difficult to repair.
Third, children who are often affected by verbal violence by their parents will have their corresponding language expression ability and intelligence more or less affected
Scientific research shows that children who grow up in an indifferent and targeted environment will not only suffer from emotional loss, but also have difficulty learning to understand and care for others afterwards, and even because they are in negative emotions for a long time, children's language comprehension and expression ability will also be affected.
They don't know how to express their concern for others, and even the words that were originally worried about others do not become aggressive and ugly words in their mouths. And under the influence of parental verbal violence, the child's memory and intelligence will also be greatly reduced!
Disclaimer: The pictures in the text are from ins, the blogger is @kidzootd, if you also have your own unique insights in the process of educating and parenting, or encounter problems that confuse you, welcome to explore yo ~ together