The first time I became a mother, I experienced the hardships of conceiving in October and the hardships of 14 hours of smooth delivery, which made me have different feelings for this little life. Maybe it was the effects of postpartum hormones that made me release the nature of animals--- coddling.
Children who grew up spoiled from childhood to adulthood are more or less rebellious, sometimes yelling at their parents, doing things to their grandparents, not to mention the basic politeness problems, and in the face of her various rebellious behaviors, my aim is to counter violence with violence and use the authority of parents to suppress it. The simple and rough method worked well at first, but later she developed the same violent temper! And you can also come back: it's all learned from you!
That's when I realized the seriousness of the problem.
A child's violent temper is not innate, but is influenced by the acquired environment. To solve this problem, we must understand from the root of why children have rebellious behavior.
1. The doting of family members
I think this is the biggest problem, children have as much as possible to meet any demands, once they can't meet, they will use "their own way" to make parents compromise.
2. Parental violence
The violence referred to here includes verbal violence and behavioral violence. Verbal violence can change a person and even destroy a person. Let the child form a cowardly character, serious lack of self-confidence, become irritable and impulsive, etc. Behavioral violence is the common stick under the filial piety, social progress, although this way of education has long been eliminated, but in real life, the phenomenon of giving a slap is also very common. This kind of behavior may plant a seed of violence in the child's heart and affect the child's future way of solving problems.
Temper tantrums also have solutions, and in this process parents need to constantly guide them, so that children are aware of the problem and can solve the problem appropriately.
1. Dating communication
In the process of communication, we must learn to think differently, stand at the same height to solve problems, and understand the needs of children in a timely manner, which is the correct way of communication.
2. Teach children to accept emotions
Children's tantrums are a form of catharsis, and unlike adults, they can reasonably accept emotions when they come, and they simply and directly explode. What we need to do is to help children accept their emotions in dating, to be the masters of emotions, and to express and release emotions correctly.
3. Parents' emotional problems are digested by themselves, do not affect the child
If parents are affected by bad emotions, learn to replace language with silence, and in the face of noisy children, they may wish to speak less, silence is always better than verbal violence. Some of the hurt of language cannot be healed in the child's heart.
Will you be "violent" to your children?