It is said that "parents are the best teachers of children", and the good conduct of children is inseparable from the words and deeds of parents. So in education, what is the best way to educate? Personally, I think the answer should be high-quality companionship.
How do we interpret this term? I believe that high-quality companionship can be described as a "two-way rush" between parents and children. In this process, it is not only the participation of parents in the growth process of children, but also the testimony of children to parents after becoming parents.
So as parents, how should we effectively accompany our children, and how can we make our parent-child time high-quality?
First of all, we need to understand a few common misunderstandings:
1. Be with your child≠ accompany your child
Many parents take time to help their children write homework or carry out other extracurricular activities after working every day, but they do not participate, often the children are writing homework or playing the piano and drawing, and parents play mobile phones or handle other housework on the side. In their hearts, parents think that they have interacted with their children in their busy lives, and they are very touched by their own behavior. However, this kind of behavior of sharing a room with children without interaction is actually ineffective companionship and does not bring a good parent-child experience to children.
2. Understand your child's words with your own ideas≠ understand your child in depth
Many parents have their own unique views on communicating with their children. But talking to your child often doesn't mean that you already have a deep understanding of your child. Because of different ages, adults and children think differently. This is the same reason as the behavior logic of adults and children sometimes, and the way of treating people and things is different. Therefore, it is not often a matter of heart-to-heart, and treating the child's words in your own way of understanding means that you have understood the child.
3. Correct the child's mistakes ≠ accompany the child to grow up together
In the process of children's growth, more or less will make some mistakes, as a parent, generally will be the first time to correct the child's mistakes. But the reasons why children make mistakes are often ignored. When a child makes a mistake, simply correcting the child's mistake is not the optimal way to deal with it. Conversely, correcting mistakes over and over again can really make parents impatient. It is more important to find out why with your child.
So how do you turn time with your child into high-quality parent-child time? Here are a few suggestions to share with you:
1. Explore and record together to give children "companionship and love"
The world of children may be simple in our eyes, but in their eyes, it is very wonderful. We might as well stop the hustle and bustle and feel the innocence and beauty with them. It is also a good choice for children to have the opportunity to share their stories with us, or to take children to understand their parents' hobbies, or to develop new hobbies with their children. Recording these beautiful moments with your child is the best surprise and gift for the future.
2. Communicate patiently and enter the "secret world" of the child's heart
The adult world is always busy, and sometimes there is a lot less patience in the face of children. As a parent at the beginning, my temper came up, and I didn't want to reason with my child at all, but this was a harm to both parties. Be sure to be patient, listen to the child's voice, let the child have the opportunity to share the small world he has built, maybe we can discover a lot of little secrets that we don't know, and can better manage the parent-child relationship with the child.
3. When encountering children making mistakes, they should be consciously guided and grow up with children
It is common for children to make mistakes, and if a person is not a sage, who can be blameless? As a parent, when a child makes a mistake, he often thinks about how to help the child correct the mistake at the first time, rather than finding out the reason for the mistake, which is actually an inverted behavior. The main thing to do to help your child find the reason for making a mistake is that your child's behavior is often copied.
To give a few simple examples, children are not attentive when eating, often discard toys when playing, and occasionally spit out indecent words when talking... These are the most common small mistakes. See micro-knowledge, is it possible that parents love to play mobile phones when eating and are noticed by their children, sometimes throw things around and are seen by children, and accidentally say indecent words when they call or talk?
At this time, we must find out the reasons and correct themselves, set a good example for the children, accompany the children to correct the mistakes, and grow up together.
4. Learn empathy + empathy communication
We often make some idealized demands on our children unconsciously according to our own ideas. Although it is for the good of the child, it will also cause invisible pressure on the child. Every child has his own personality, and we cannot force children to become their own mirrors and grow up according to their ideal standards, which is to stifle the child's nature. Empathy is especially important in parent-child relationships. Think back to what your mindset was when you were a kid. Compare your heart to your heart, learn to stand in the child's position, listen to the child's voice, and not always think from the perspective of an adult, so that you can communicate better with the child and make the parent-child relationship more harmonious.
Parents love their children, so don't miss the growth of children, this is the only time in a lifetime, don't always think about coming to Japan, so that one day you will suddenly find that the little doll with teeth and teeth has grown up.
Education is a long run, and the king is encouraged.