In kindergarten is a good baby, at home is a little bully? Children's performance at home is very different from that in kindergarten, or even completely opposite, which is a phenomenon that many parents will find.
There is a 5-year-old child Xi Xi in the community, the mother said, the teacher reflected that Xi Xi is the class leader in the kindergarten, is the teacher's little helper, leading the children to read early, distributing toys to the children, helping the teacher to coordinate the children to deal with contradictions, etc., in short, in the eyes of the teacher, it is a well-behaved and well-behaved helper who will help the teacher manage the class.
But at home, Xixi is completely different, eating and dressing for parents to help, toys everywhere, garbage thrown everywhere. Once, when the mother accidentally talked to the class teacher about the child's performance at home, the teacher was surprised, and she felt that the child's performance at home and the performance at school were really very different, it was completely opposite.
So, the question is, why do children behave in kindergarten and at home, and they judge two people? The reasons are at least the following points, parents do not ignore.
Parents' requirements at home are different from kindergartens
Children behave differently at home and in kindergartens, which is related to the fact that parents' requirements for children are different from kindergartens' requirements for children.
Each family's parenting style is different, and some parents are too strict with their children, even more than kindergartens.
In the case of a harsh or repressive family environment, the child restrains himself too much, does not dare to release his nature, and even dares not relax and express himself, unconsciously "hiding" some aspects of himself, and parents naturally cannot see some aspects of the child's temperament.
On the contrary, some parents are more indulgent to their children, and they do not make behavior rules for their children at home, which is more relaxed than kindergarten, and there will be some behaviors and performances that children do not have in kindergartens.
It can be seen that the requirements of parents for their children at home are very different from those of kindergartens, which will lead to children becoming "two-faced", resulting in children behaving at home and in kindergartens.
Parents don't understand their children
Each person's personality has many aspects, and under different environments and educational methods, it will show different aspects. When necessary, the child will "converge" on certain aspects.
If parents are more careless, or the parent-child relationship is more distant, and there is less spiritual communication with the child, they will not understand the child comprehensively enough and cannot capture the hidden personality performance of the child. Therefore, parents will perceive that their children's performance in kindergarten is different from their performance at home.
How can children behave consistently at home as they do in kindergarten, but what about a "two-sided" life?
Make rules for your child
In kindergartens, children live a collective life, kindergartens generally set up a lot of rules and regulations, used to manage children, under the constraints of the collective, under the authority of the teacher, children will be more "obedient".
And at home is different, nowadays many children pampering is very common, not to mention let the child help to do housework, the child's private affairs, adults are properly arranged.
Many families have no requirements for their children at home, nor do they make rules for their children, nor do they have any house rules to raise, and children are often more arbitrary, acting like little princesses, little young masters, and little overlords.
There is a way, 3 years old LiEn, 6 years old Li Wei. Children do not have a standard of merit, in daily life, his words and deeds, when there is a deviation, parents need to make timely guidance and correction.
In order to avoid constantly nagging and preaching to children, parents may wish to write some things involving the bottom line, safety and principles into family rules, paste them at home, and let children consciously internalize into daily habits.
Let the child's daily words and deeds meet certain social etiquette standards, so that the child's behavior at home and in the kindergarten behavior is very different.
Strengthen the communication with the child's heart
Even if they live under the same roof every day, with food, clothing, shelter and transportation together, many parents still do not understand their children. Understanding children requires more companionship, as well as more spiritual exchange and more collision of ideas.
High quality to accompany children
Good parent-child relationship, from high-quality companionship.
High-quality companionship means that parents often accompany their children to do something conducive to his growth, and when accompanying their children, they must interact with their children one-on-one, and devote themselves to it and concentrate on it.
Parents can make a list of tables, such as "50 things to do with their children in a year", to remind themselves to often accompany their children to do something meaningful.
In the accompaniment, not only the interaction between parents and children is becoming more and more natural and intimate, but also conducive to parents to observe and understand their children, find out the children's advantages, strengths, bad emotions, and different behaviors, and adjust them in time.
Communicate more with your child's heart
Many parents may have a deep understanding that even if they live together every day, they still do not understand their children.
This is because parents have not mastered the skills of spiritual communication with their children, have not entered the hearts of their children, and have not exchanged ideas with their children.
If you want to communicate with your child's mind, you can try the following tips:
* Make good use of 1 hour before bedtime every day
Set aside 1 hour before going to bed every day, concentrate on accompanying the child, and talk to the child about the things he encountered in the kindergarten that day and talk about which friends he plays with in the kindergarten.
Often go to the child's school space, look at the photos sent by the teacher that day, point to the photos one by one, and ask the children what they are doing. Don't underestimate this, this process can understand the relationship between the child and the teacher and the child in the kindergarten, and understand the child's state in the kindergarten.
In the second half hour, you can accompany your child to parent-child reading, and discuss and interact with your child during reading, so as to understand your child's thinking and ideas.
Create a relaxed home environment
Children are independent individuals, with independent bodies and minds, parents and them, do not need to be on the top, may wish to often "crouch" down, with equal status and children to communicate, if necessary, may try to get along with children like friends.
Usually do not engage in a word, to give children an equal and relaxed family environment, so that children at home physically and mentally relaxed, can freely release their nature, as well as express themselves.
You may wish to play Truth or Dare with your child often, have family meetings, encourage your child to open up in the family, express themselves, and actively participate in family affairs, enhance the sense of responsibility, and let yourself know more about your child.
Strengthen home-school communication
Given the multi-faceted nature of the child's personality, the child will behave differently in front of different environments and different people. Parents can strengthen communication with the teacher, paying attention to the difference between the child in the teacher's description and the child in their own eyes. Then look at whether it is necessary to adjust the educational method appropriately.
What kind of behavior a child has a lot to do with the way he is guided and educated.
As parents, in order to better escort the growth safety of our children, we need to understand our children more comprehensively. To this end, we need to master the above better skills and ways, so that children can relax and show their true selves, without "hiding", so that we can give children better guidance and help, so that children can grow into better selves.
For more exciting content, come and follow @AiYang Parenting