Wen | the original diary of The Little Fish Daddy, welcome to forward and share personally
Chinese often say that "there are no rules and no squares", and there is a saying called "three years old to see small, five years old to see old", indicating the importance of establishing rules for children from an early age.
A family can be financially strapped, but it must not be without rules, because no rules are more terrible than no money.
Money can be earned through hard work, but without rules, it will lead to children's behavior and scattered thoughts in the process of growing up, and life will lose the right guidance, cannot reach the other side of success, and may even hide the bomb that leads to failure.
Establishing rules is a "compulsory course" in life
Some parents believe that when children are young, they should be given enough space to grow, do not set rules and regulations to limit children's ability to explore and discover, and do not discipline children too strictly, so as not to affect children's imagination and creativity.
However, tolerance does not mean indulgence, and children's wrong behavior must be corrected as soon as possible.
Bottomless "free range" may not eventually cultivate children who are well-behaved, industrious and courageous, but do whatever they want and are lawless babies.
For people to succeed, they must follow the rules, and if a family is to prosper, it must also have rules.
There is no price to pay for rules
A pair of parents in Guangdong took their children to the cinema to see a movie, and after watching the movie "Bear Child", they still felt unhappy, so they ran to the screen to sprinkle joy, and even kicked the belt and kicked it.
When the children had had enough, the family of three left happily. However, when the theater staff checked the screen, they found that there was a crack in the screen, which was the position where the child kicked.
After the police intervened, they actively coordinated the two sides to solve the problem, and finally the theater proposed that the other party compensate for the loss of 180,000 yuan.
A little boy led by his parents to a well-known piano shop, on a whim, he used the Coke in his hand to "bathe" the piano.
Although the staff found and stopped it in time, it was still impossible to clean it up at the first time. In the end, the piano bank proposed more than 190,000 yuan in depreciation fees.
In this process, the parents not only did not educate their children, did not apologize to the manager of the piano shop, but instead thought that the child was too small, that the piano display area was improperly managed, and that the child was too small as an excuse to quarrel with the piano shop.
Parents, as the guardians of their children, fail to stop them in time when their children break the rules, but connive, which will encourage the child to break the rules and not abide by the rules, and when they grow up, they will ignore the rules and like to choose ways to do things outside the rules.
But the responsibility that the child is evading now will become a bomb in the future, and when the time comes, can the parents still say "he is still a child" as when they were young?
Be targeted and let the rules escort life
Why do parents feel that this matter has been clearly told to the child, but he does not act according to the rules agreed in advance, perhaps this is the broken window effect at work.
Speaking of the broken window effect, the simple understanding is that after a window is broken and not repaired in time, more and more people will think that broken windows are allowed, so the windows are broken one by one.
For example, a certain mother makes a rule for her child to eat a bag of snacks only after writing homework every day. At first the child complied well, but a few days later the child made a request to the mother to eat the fruit first and then write homework.
Mom thought it wouldn't hurt to break the rules once in a while, so she agreed to the request. But since the "window" was broken, children see that the rules can also be broken, and they will continue to try to break the rules further.
Therefore, in order to make the rules stand, parents must put the bottom line of good principles on this pass, so that children cannot see the opportunity of "breaking windows".
There are also parents who meet "pig teammates" when making rules for their children.
The mother set the rules that she could not eat when writing homework, but the father was distressed that the child personally brought snacks. In this case, the child's sense of rules will be blurred, he does not know who to listen to, and he is easily frightened by the quarrels of his parents.
This situation belongs to the law of watches, when the child wears a watch on his hand, he can clearly know what points are the rules, but if he wears two or three watches on his hand, it is not uniform when he goes, then the child will lack a clear concept of time.
When both parents disagree about a certain matter, the child will think that there is an opportunity to step outside the rules or shake the determination to follow the rules.
To restrain children from following the rules, punishment mechanisms are also needed as a deterrent, the so-called "hot stove effect."
A little boy urinated in the elevator, causing a bad smell in the elevator car. When her mother learned of the situation, she took the initiative to apologize to the owners and asked the child to write a written review to admit her mistake in exchange for cleaning the elevator for a month in exchange for everyone's forgiveness.
Some people may think that the mother's approach will hurt the child's self-esteem and is not conducive to the child's rest.
But know that if there is no punishment, parents will lose the right tools to discipline their children's obedience, and the child's understanding of making mistakes will not be very deep. Therefore, punishment is a necessary way to teach children to follow the rules.
As a parent, you should understand that you do not make rules for your children, and in the future, someone will discipline your children for you, "small trees do not repair and do not slip straight", let the rules accompany the children for a lifetime, such a life is valuable, meaningful, and loving.