Everyone is the helmsman of their own destiny, and self-confidence is the compass that guides the course of life.
A person's future is success or failure; a person's life, whether it is happiness or pain, self-confidence plays a key role. A person who is full of self-confidence in his heart, his aura is bound to be strong, and the chance of success will be much greater.
Self-confidence, also known as self-confidence, is a mental state in which a person believes in his or her abilities, that is, the psychological tendency to believe that he or she has the ability to achieve a set goal. It is an important part of children's mental health and an important condition for becoming a talent.
Self-confidence is a magical force that can make people strong and brave enough to face challenges. Once a child has self-confidence, it stimulates his life force, which is like a fire, which can incinerate difficulties and light the lamp of wisdom.
In life, there is actually no shortage of confident children. They are very brave to try many things, even in public, they are not timid, and they show confidence, which is what we often call "self-confidence".
Confident children usually dare to question, dare to explore, have strong independence, believe in their abilities and values, and dare to express their ideas.
However, there are also some children in real life, they are timid and introverted, speak quietly, are not willing to communicate with people, do not fit in with their classmates, often stay alone; are more sensitive, overly concerned about the words of others, pay attention to others' every move; cowardly personality, lack of opinion, listen to others' words and easily change their decisions; dare not try, afraid to change, like to stay in their own familiar environment.
These children who lack self-confidence will gradually become inferior, they dare not face challenges, and when they encounter difficulties, the first thing they think of is "this is too difficult" and "I can't do it well", and they give up without hard work.
Psychologist Adler once said such a well-known saying: "Happy people are cured by childhood all their lives, while unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives." It can be seen that the child's childhood life is good or bad, which is related to whether the child's life is happy or not.
A good family will raise optimistic, sunny, confident and self-reliant children. On the contrary, bad families will make children slowly become cowardly, lack of enterprising consciousness, and easy to inferiority when they grow up.
In fact, there is a story behind every child with low self-esteem, and almost all problems come from the child's childhood life.
Verbal violence hits the child: When you find that the child is becoming more and more inferior, you may wish to look back and see if you have said such a thing to him:
It's really stupid, useless stuff; people are better than you; you pig brain, you've done such a simple problem wrong; your guts are so small that you don't show up.
There is a word in psychology called "negative cues." When parents always belittle the child, the child's small problems are magnified and labeled, over time, the child will unconsciously move closer to these labels, and children who often suffer from verbal violence will often have an inferiority complex and abnormal personality, if this psychology continues, it will seriously affect the child's life.
Emotional blackmail, moral kidnapping: Some parents keep telling their children that their families are poor, and their parents have worked hard all their lives for him, so that their children should fight for anger. This kind of behavior is called "complaining", which is actually "emotional blackmail" and makes children feel guilty.
It is very uncomfortable to suffer emotional blackmail. This child who carries the weight forward has taken all the fault on himself. As a result, inferiority crept up to her heart like a vine.
Make choices for your children: As your child grows older, from life, study to marriage and family, he will inevitably face more and more choices. Some parents do not trust their children very much, habitually arrange substitutions, and turn a deaf ear to their children's wishes.
Children do not have the opportunity to make their own choices and decisions, ideas are often suppressed, will produce a sense of powerlessness, and will become less and less confident in their own abilities.
Emerson said, "Confidence is the first key to success." Psychologist Hadfield said: "People can exert their potential to more than 500% in the case of self-confidence, while people who do not have self-confidence and inferiority can only exert 30% of their abilities."
However, a child's self-confidence is not innate, but is cultivated from an early age. Whether a child is confident or not is closely related to the attitude of their parents towards them and the way they are educated.
Please look at the child with an appreciative eye: people have advantages, as long as parents are willing to appreciate the child with a pair of loving eyes, every child is worthy of parental pride.
There is no comparison between lives. People have their own strengths, but also have their weaknesses, the process of life, should be a process of continuous learning and progress, to promote the strengths and avoid weaknesses, to correct themselves, there is no need to compare with others. Give the child more appreciation and encouragement, let the child have self-confidence, he will harvest a wonderful life.
Accept the child's fullness: the child's self-confidence comes from the unconditional love of the parents. Accept everything about the child, including his shortcomings, small personality, and understand his difference, so that the child will be confident.
In the movie Miracle Boy, 10-year-old Boy Auggie is born with a facial defect. On the first day of going to school, he was ridiculed and bullied by his classmates because of his appearance.
When Auggie came home, he shut himself in his room and cried, and he asked his mother with tears in his eyes: "Why am I so ugly?" ”
Mom told Auggie, "You're not ugly at all, we love you very much." The scars on your face are just as characteristic as the wrinkles on my face, not ugly. ”
This firm love of his mother gave Auggie a steady sense of security and made him move from inferiority to self-confidence.
Accepted children, can fully feel the love of their parents, can calmly face the world, will not be suppressed by the world breathless, in order to better stand in the society.
Properly praise children: Many parents now know that good children are praised, but how to praise children is a serious problem.
I often hear some parents praise their children for "you are awesome" and "you are so smart", such praise is no problem to use occasionally, but it is not good to use it often.
The more specific parents are when praising their children, the more the children will understand which behaviors are good, and the easier it is to find the direction of effort.
Give your child the opportunity to make a choice: The love of parents should be a better assistant to the child, not a bondage. Give children the opportunity to make choices and feel that their opinions are respected, and often receive better results.
For example, you can ask your child for advice on what to wear when you go out, where to go on holidays, and what dishes to order at the restaurant. In short, giving children the right to choose will give them confidence and a sense of accomplishment.
Brisk walking increases self-confidence: Studies have shown that a 25% increase in walking speed can help increase self-confidence.
Confident people tend to walk faster and have a greater sense of rhythm. Even if the child does not have important things, there is no need to rush, but also to practice brisk walking, which can greatly improve self-confidence.
Where there is light in the heart, there will be distance.
Please plant a seed of self-confidence for your child, irrigate with your heart, and you will eventually reap the fruits.