1, the brother-in-law is a straight man of steel, will not tell some lies to make girls happy. Every time it was because of his straightness, he broke up with his girlfriend! So the brother-in-law went to someone who was very good at lying and said, "You teach."

1, the brother-in-law is a straight man of steel, will not tell some lies to make girls happy. Every time it was because of his straightness, he broke up with his girlfriend! So the brother-in-law went to someone who was very good at lying and said, "Teach me to lie!" The man said, "Okay! So he taught the brother-in-law some common sense, after he told the brother-in-law to tell a lie to see, the brother-in-law thought for half a day, and said mysteriously: "Oh, tell you, I am dumb!" ”

2, a man to find a woman as a small three, promised to give her a night to sleep on the buy an electric car! The man slept for a day and led to buy an electric car, let the woman get on the car to try a good ride, the woman rode a circle and said it was very good! The man said I'd try it, and then rode off, gone...

3. Working in the secretariat of the Greenland Group, I suddenly discovered a secret recently. A person was uncomfortable, so he found a colleague, laughed at Mimi, and said, "Tell you something, you don't tell anyone else about ha !!! The colleague was stunned for a moment, looked at me helplessly and said: "Then you still don't tell me, the concubines can't do it!!! "I......... Why not play your cards according to the routine???

4, into a noodle restaurant, asked for a bowl of mixed sauce noodles, I ate a few bites and gave up, it is too difficult to eat! As I paid the bill, I said to myself: Is there anything worse than that? The waiter said: Yes! The shop across the road, opened by the owner's apprentice. this......

5, Country Garden sent a commission of 100,000 to me, I went directly to the 4S store to pick up a Dongfeng Nissan. Unexpectedly, I just drove the car to the door and was hit by a female owner of a Rolls-Royce, the owner: private! I immediately replied: What is private? I just bought this car, 83460 yuan! The female owner of rolls-royce added my WeChat and said that there was an emergency and rushed away! After I got home, I didn't expect her to really transfer 90,000 yuan to me!

6, downstairs Grandpa Li died, at the age of 78, and the grandfather who grew up with him scolded at home: "Look! Don't listen to me and die! I said that the snake was poisonous and could not be eaten, but he did not believe it or ate it, and poisoned it to death! I heard the exclamation: "When did he eat?" The old man said, "It's our 12th year!" "I...

7. A pair of twin brothers at school fight, and then the two are pulled apart by their classmates. However, the two people were still angry and continued to scold each other. Suddenly, one of them scolded the other: Look at you like that! Suddenly, the scene was quiet!

8, soon after Christmas, I called my father and asked me: "Dad, this is my first Christmas after work, what Christmas gift are you going to give me?" Dad: "I'll give you Santa Claus!" Me: "Santa Claus?" Dad: "Well, I bought your grandfather a Christmas dress, and after that, grandpa will be raised by you, and I will be idle."

9, at a glance, I took a fancy to Lao Wang: The girl you introduced to me has one eye that is blind! Matchmaker: Yes! Lao Wang: You lied to me, why didn't you tell me in the first place! Matchmaker: How come I didn't tell you! At that time, I said, that girl took a fancy to you at a glance?

10, soon it is almost the New Year, I will go to the supermarket with my wife to buy small snacks and candy to entertain guests. In the store, my wife and I asked the boss: Can the boss taste ??? The boss replied very crisply: can !!! Taste it casually!!! When my wife heard it, her eyes lit up: Then I will not be able to taste ??? The boss didn't take it seriously at all, and said: If you mean it, you will taste it, haha............ After saying that, he went to the other side and went busy. At noon, when his wife tasted the thirty-second candy, the boss finally couldn't hold back!!! He said with a weeping face: You are really mean???

11. When the flag was raised at the Second Middle School today, the leaders of the school said: There was a boy in the third year of our second middle school, and a boy who beat a boy in the first year of Rongcheng High School. Ask him why he still has the right to say, "I hit him?" I'm not done with him! I talked to him online for four years before I found out the day before he was a man! And we were sitting across from me in the same Internet café! ”

12, the neighborhood children often come to my house to find their daughters to play! Last week, I found out I had a cell phone at home. No one has been in the house lately! I suspect that the neighbor's child took it! So watch him carefully for a few days! I found out every word and deed of this child! An action! Talk to him the way he looks! gait... All the movements are like... My husband!

13, as a rice cook, often go to a certain shop with his wife to eat, yesterday and classmates small gathering, the boss came to say hello: did not bring his wife with today? One of my female classmates slapped the table and shouted: The old woman is his wife! Who is that woman you're talking about? The boss immediately withdrew, and the whole table burst into laughter. I said awkwardly: Why are you making such a joke? The female classmate said: You just wait for the discount. After eating, I went to checkout, and the boss said apologetically: I'm really sorry, I don't know if you brought your sister-in-law before, you go back and explain it, just say that I recognized the wrong person. I'm sorry for this meal! I:???

14, the girlfriend begged me to watch a movie with her several times, but I had to go with her, she bought popcorn and drinks, and happily kissed me on the face, saying that I was so good to her! Ten minutes after the beginning of the movie, I heard the soft purring of the female ticket on the side... Everyone around looked over to this side, and it was really helpless to gently wake her up, and she muttered with sleepy eyes: Don't make trouble, I will sleep for a while, and then snuggle up in my arms and fall asleep... In the end, I finished eating popcorn, drinking my drink, and watching the movie alone.

15. The in-laws who are over 50 years old decided to practice trumpet and went to the hospital for IVF surgery. I felt very curious, so I asked my mother-in-law: Mom, you are so old, why do you have to have a second child! The mother-in-law said: I see that many people around me have given birth to a second child. I suddenly realized: So you are also moved?? The mother-in-law shook her head: No, let me tell you the truth, I am mainly blind to those months of maternity leave.