In the morning, before I got up, my wife went out to cook, and after a while my mother pulled me up and secretly said, "When are you going to go to the hospital for examination?" How do you live like this? "I'm confused

In the morning, before I got up, my wife went out to cook, and after a while my mother pulled me up and secretly said, "When are you going to go to the hospital for examination?" How do you live like this? "I'm confused! What to check? Why can't I get by? Did last night... I asked very nervously, "Mom, what do I check?" Mom slapped me on the head: "Go check your airway!" I don't know when you will snore, and still make such a loud noise, how will your daughter-in-law sleep? I almost cried: "Mom, that purr was caused by your daughter-in-law, I can't snore at all!" ”

2, I remember when I first went to college, my father sent me to report to school. At that time, I had not left the dormitory for a long time, I looked at my father, thinking that I must be reluctant to me, so I said to my father: Dad, I will take care of myself, you go back! As a result, my father raised half a day, embarrassed to say: Girl! You count the cost of living, is it 1,570 yuan, your mother said to send you to school, the seventy yuan will give me...

3. When buying AJ in a Nike store, I met a beautiful woman who was a heavenly XIAN level. I jerked my head and reached out to stir her, and then I put my arm around her. I looked at her affectionately and said: Should I confess or apologize at this moment? The beauty listened, and said to the onlookers with great excitement: If anyone can help me out, I will be his girlfriend. Then, I found that the WIFI in the hospital was really fast!

4, in the soup Yichen bought a new house of 150 square meters, in order to celebrate moving to a new home, the wife called the sister-in-law to the home to eat hot pot. Seeing that she came alone, I teased her about why she didn't call her brother-in-law. She said: Just now the two of us quarreled, and he gambled that he would not come. I smiled and said: It's okay, just go back and coax him, the two people get along day and night, bumps and bumps are inevitable, and then say. Before I could finish speaking, she immediately interrupted me, looked at me contemptuously, and said: It's okay, just wait until I finish eating and go back to beat him up. It is really worthy of being a little sister-in-law, and things are clustered together!

5, I remember when I was in high school, I liked the class flowers in my class. When I think about it, I only dare to write a love letter to express my love for her. It was written and written in more than 20,000 words at once. I and I gave her a passion, but unexpectedly, these two goods were so two, not only rejected me, but also spread the love letter everywhere and read it. I felt very ashamed that the teacher still bothered me every day. However, the whole school has since known me as knowledgeable and talented. Later, I not only became the editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, but also received love letters from the school flowers...

6, I am twenty-eight years old this year, and I still have no boyfriend, so I have not been told by my family. Dad asked me: How can you still be bare when you are so old? What exactly are you looking for? Me: It's good to be able to talk. Dad thought for a while and said solemnly: In fact, with my experience of being married for so many years, I still think it is best to find a dumb!

7, the father-in-law is a real estate developer, sneaky by the mother-in-law found out and divorced the mother-in-law, bad women successfully took the position. That night the bad woman lay on the window playing with her father-in-law's hand and found that the lifeline on the palm of her father-in-law's hand was very long. Then she looked at herself again, and then said to her father-in-law: Husband, my lifeline is very short, I can only live to 50 years old, what to do? The father-in-law thought about it and said: Oh, then you don't have to buy you pension insurance, anyway, you can't live to that time.

8, in the afternoon in the pantry smoked a cigarette, and then came a female colleague. The female colleague tilted her head and looked at me: Are you sick? I am secretly happy in my heart, does this care about me? , such a small detail can be noticed. I asked: How do you know? She said that just now I saw you smoking, only one nostril smoked, and I thought it was fun.

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #