We have an uncle in his 80s next door who found a black snake under a tree in the neighborhood yesterday and froze! He took the snake in his arms and tried to give it some warmth. He was early this morning

We have an uncle in his 80s next door who found a black snake under a tree in the neighborhood yesterday and froze! He took the snake in his arms and tried to give it some warmth. Early this morning he hung a sign on the tree: "No open defecation!"

2, the sister-in-law met a handsome guy on the Internet, and the two talked very well. The handsome guy asked the sister-in-law to meet tomorrow, and I was a little worried after I knew it. The sister-in-law said: It's okay, don't worry, I will meet him tomorrow at the Golf Course. I said: Why is it okay to be there? The sister-in-law said: Brother One, there is a big public. Second, it's broad daylight. Third, I had the club in my hand.

3, a young woman, just after dark passed by a residential area, came to the opposite side of a strong man, suddenly began to cough. Then four or five more men came over, and they coughed in unison. The woman was suddenly a little nervous, they were talking about the code? Wouldn't you want to rob? The woman was a little afraid, and did not dare to run until she reached the place where they began to cough. She also coughed. Oh my God, who puts chili peppers on stir-fry so choking?

4, has been listening to the buddies said that he likes to go shopping with his daughter-in-law, like an emperor, eating and drinking without doing it himself, are daughter-in-law feeding, the landlord listened to infinite envy. I just happened to meet them shopping after work today, and he was right, indeed like the emperor. I saw that the brother had a women's bag hanging around his neck, two hands full of shopping bags of large and small sizes, and his daughter-in-law's left hand milk tea right hand squid skewers fed him from time to time.

5, has not cut the hair for two months, the hair can be tied in a small braid immediately, this day is really hot, went to the barbershop. The little brother said while washing: Dude, how long have you not managed your hair? I knew he was hurting the shampoo, so smiled and didn't talk. After washing up, I asked: What hairstyle do you like? I groaned and said, "Bald head, cool."

6, these two people with particularly long sleeves, called "tooth line", that is, the current intermediary, the reason why they wear long-sleeved clothes is to complete the transaction in the sleeves. They touch their fingers in the sleeves, bargain, and count the number of transactions.

7, women are really a terrible creature, I tell you with profound experience. In the past, I especially liked to play games, and often brought my sister in the game, and then my wife often warned me. Until one day she couldn't stand it anymore and divorced me. After that, he quickly hooked up with a big god, and finally united with the big god to hunt me down every day, and successfully killed me.

8, the last taxi to find a friend, got on the taxi and chatted with the driver. As a result, because of the disagreement, I directly quarreled with him for two sentences. Just then, I received a V-letter from my girlfriend who was getting angry with me over a small matter. So I pointed at my phone and sent a voice: "Baby, I'm wrong, don't be angry, I love you." "What are you talking about?" The taxi master said busily.

9, I called the manager early in the morning: "Manager, I have to go to work late this evening, there is a little trouble at home." "What's the trouble?" "My wife lost 500 bucks, and she's looking for it." "She's looking for her, and it still affects you to work?" "No, that... The money was at my feet. ”

10, children: Dad, the sun in the morning is farther away from us, or the sun at noon is farther away from us? Dad: The morning sun is closer to us, because the morning sun is on the ground, and the noon sun is in the sky! Child: But why is the sun a little hotter at noon? Isn't it hotter the closer we get? Father:...... Well! From the sun, which is close to the problem... It's about astronomical geography... So advanced, when you grow up you will understand!

1 In front of the fashion store, an impatient man walked over to a Peugeot girl. "Can you have a few words with me?" he asked. "Why?" She was full of doubts. "My wife has been inside for a long time," the man pointed to the shop, "but if she sees me talking to you, she will come out immediately." Sure enough, before the words could be heard, his wife rushed out.

12, there is a Russian lost when traveling, at night to a small village on the border of China, outside the snow, he can't stand the cold, so he went to knock on the door of the farmer's house to ask for accommodation. An old lady in the house asked aloud: Who are you? The Russians say: Ilichova Mopolov Kriravich! Too many people! The old lady "hissed" and closed the door that had just been opened.

13, today my girlfriend came to me with a sullen face and said, "I suspect that my husband has cheated!" Me: "What's the situation?" She: "I find that my son is becoming less and less like my husband!" Me: "Are you teasing me?" She: "Listen to me, one night he came back late, and he didn't brush his teeth that night!" "I'm going...

14, the old man called me and said that the TV set was broken, how can not change the station, let me go to help see. Then when I arrived, we both sweated and took the TV apart to see what was wrong. After a while, the old man said, "Forget it, call the TV repairer." After the TV repairer came, he became angry: "On such a hot day, you called me to change the remote control battery!" I looked at the old man and smiled awkwardly...