A rich second generation meets a migrant worker in Beijing and finds that he looks very similar. He asked with a look of contempt: "Did your mother work in a factory when she was young?" "Farmer

A rich second generation meets a migrant worker in Beijing and finds that he looks very similar. He asked with a look of contempt: "Did your mother work in a factory when she was young?" The migrant worker said with fear: "I am not hungry, my mother is not very good, so she has never left me, but my father's health is good, very good." When he was young, he worked as a driver for a boss in a certain factory. "The black line of the rich second generation's face!

2, yesterday the department dinner, back home has been more than eleven o'clock, the wife has been staring at me, I dare not say a word. Suddenly, the wife laughed again and said, "Husband, what are you doing here?" I was a little scared: "No, wife, I was wrong!" The wife still smiled and squinted: "You come here, I promise not to hit you, beat you are a puppy!" I tentatively asked, "Really, you are not allowed to hit people or pinch people?" My wife nodded, so I moved my feet slowly. Only to see my wife suddenly grab my arm and bite down: "Wang, I bite you, I bite you!" ”

3, the stomach is hungry grunting, I urge my mother to hurry up and cook. The old mother was just about to make lunch, and the aunt downstairs came knocking on the door. Auntie: Go, play mahjong. My mom: No, my son hasn't eaten yet! The aunt listened and turned around and left, and after five minutes came knocking on the door again. When I opened the door, my aunt brought a plate of dumplings: give your son something to eat, let's go!

4, just paid a salary, I want to eat skewers and hot pot with female leaders, one is a dollar.

When the female leader saw me as a guest, she showed no mercy, and ate more than four hundred skewers in total, and I only ate dozens of skewers.

The female leader said: "Thank you so much, I haven't eaten this kind of hot pot in months, if you continue to invite me next week, I will promise you." ”

I went, what does that mean, promise me what?

I quickly said, "Eating is a small thing, can you raise your salary more?"

The female leader said: "No problem, look at your recent performance." ”

5, the wife idle nothing embroidered a cross embroidery "Ten Thousand Horses Galloping Diagram", mounted and hung in the most conspicuous position in the living room. That day my friend came to visit, he stared at the cross stitch on the wall for half a day, shouting wonderful, heavenly embroidery, this is the heavenly embroidery also! The wife smiled triumphantly, and I interjected: it is indeed heavenly embroidery, which divides the word "heaven" into two, divided into "two" and "person" words, and a special "two" "person" embroidery.

6, I came to a noodle restaurant, and when I just walked in the door, I shouted: Big bowl of braised beef noodles! After a while, the boss came over with a face, isn't this the junior high school classmate I haven't seen in many years? So we greeted each other. After eating, I took out 20 yuan and put it on the table, to go. The old classmate didn't want money, stuffed it in my pocket and sent me outside the hotel door. When I was just digging out my pocket and preparing to give him the money again, my old classmate said: Give me the cigarette money, your sister-in-law is tight! I smiled and showed it to him: I understand. Then I saw my sister-in-law who was busy inside, looking out the door from time to time...

7. There is a couple who are particularly knowledgeable and know how to write, and they became pregnant shortly after marriage. They want to make their children the most polite people in the world when they are born. Every day, he kept teaching: "Child, when you grow up, you must become the most knowledgeable person in the world", the child in the belly seems to understand, and also cooperates with the voice of the parents. But after ten months, the child showed no sign of coming out, and for a year, two years, three years, until seventy years, the child was still not born, but it kept moving in the mother's belly at every moment. The old two families summed up: "We are more than ninety years old, people who are about to go into the ground, we can't always take the children with us" And finally decided to plan the abdomen. As a result, when I went to the hospital to cut open my stomach, I saw two white-bearded old men constantly waving at each other, and my mouth kept saying: "Big brother, please first!" "Big brother, you first please!"

8, Xiao Bao: Little aunt, why are you so fat? Me: I don't know why, Grandma was fat when I was born. Xiao Bao: I know, you are in grandma's belly and my mother rushing to eat fat drops. Me: I'm not twins with your mom, she's five years older than me. Xiao Bao: Yes, she can't grab you, so she has to come out first.

9, the cousin stole his uncle's private money and bought a new mobile phone. When I went to work today, my cousin set up a desktop with a broken screen on his mobile phone and then joked with his colleagues. The colleague wanted to use his cousin's mobile phone, and the cousin deliberately fell gently on the table when he handed it to him. He picked it up and looked dumbfounded, and the screen showed a fragmented pattern. My cousin smiled and leaned forward and backward, took the mobile phone to replace the desktop, and was surprised to find that the screen was still broken!

10, the wife is on a business trip. Decisively ask a friend to scrub a bath... But think of the online passage that my daughter-in-law showed me the day before yesterday: my wife will press money under the bed to let my husband say the number to check the bed... So I immediately went back to the bedroom to open the mat, and sure enough, there was a piece of money, laughed three times and put the money in my pocket and went out happily... At night, I received a call from my daughter-in-law, "Is my husband asleep?" "There's a dollar under the mat you tell me which side is facing up?"

11, when I first got married, it was basically my wife cooking rice, I found that every time she cooked the rice was very salty, sometimes salty so much that I was a little unacceptable, but I did not dare to put forward my opinions, afraid that my wife would let me cook rice later. Once I accidentally found my wife serving a good meal, she secretly put salt in my bowl...