1, a friend asked me to borrow 10,000 yuan, I WeChat transferred to him. At the end of the year, I received his 9999, thinking that one less piece would be one less piece, don't worry! Unexpectedly, his call came: Margot

1, a friend asked me to borrow 10,000 yuan, I WeChat transferred to him. At the end of the year, I received his 9999, thinking that one less piece would be one less piece, don't worry! Unexpectedly, his call came: Margot, received it! Originally, according to the bank interest, I had to pay you more than eight yuan, but I deducted ten yuan for WeChat withdrawal, so it was less than 9999. Thinking about the long and long new year, the number is auspicious, I just posted a few more hairs...? Listening to the tone of his speech, if I don't send a red envelope to thank you, I am not interesting enough?。。。

2, the wife is bored on vacation, flipping the old books on the bookshelf, and suddenly a photo falls out of a book. Picked it up and looked at a picture of a beautiful woman, and asked me for a suspicious look. I took a look at it and said calmly, "Oh, this is my high school classmate, we used to be..." Before I finished speaking, my wife punched and kicked, and half a minute later, I lay on the couch and spat out two words "same table"!

3. Last night, I drank a lot of wine from my girlfriend outside, and when I came home, I started a drunken madness and beat my boyfriend up. Friends party at night, drink too much, don't know how to send drunk crazy, put the boyfriend a meal. When I looked at it this morning, I scratched a few marks on the face of this cargo, the sleeves of the clothes were half cut off, and there were tooth marks on the arms. I counted the cases and remembered the clips of last night, and guiltily went to the closet to get him new clothes, found out the medicine box and prepared to rub the medicine for him. Unexpectedly, he suddenly coldly rejected me and said solemnly: Do you want to destroy the evidence? I've already called my future mother-in-law, and she'll be there to pick you up in a minute!

4. Today, when I went to a noodle restaurant to eat ramen noodles, a strange customer said to Xiao Er, "Come to the bowl of noodles." "Good!" "Pull a little closer." "Good!" "Put more coriander." "Good!" "Coriander put more leaves and less poles." "Good!" "Don't cut the beef into slices." "Good!" "Cook more noodles." "Well, are there any other requests?" "Gone." "Well, eight in all, thanks!" After giving the money, Xiao Erchong shouted loudly from the kitchen: "A bowl of beef noodles" and then went to greet other guests...

5, at night after work home, the wife sat unhappily on the sofa! I walked over and wrapped her up and said, "Baby, what's wrong with you?" The wife pursed her lips and said: Your ex-girlfriend came this afternoon, and I made her a table of delicious food! I was shocked and said: What did she come to do, didn't she argue with you? The wife said: She said, if I don't leave you, she won't live! I think this person must let her eat a good meal before she dies! ”

6, my cousin's addiction came up, let me go to his company to send him the Hibiscus King. After beating my cousin's company, I found that the front desk girl looked very pretty. I cheekily talked to each other, and then added v letter friends to chat. One day, she said that Alipay could not pay back the flower shell, asked me to borrow 100,000 yuan, I directly transferred it to her. Day by day has passed, and now 7 years have passed, and the girl still has no intention of returning my money. Not only did she not pay me back the 100,000 yuan, but now all my money must be handed over to her.

7. Worked in PetroChina for one month and paid a salary of 12,000 yuan. As soon as the salary was paid to her wife, she bought a new dress. I asked her how much it cost, and she hesitated, then said, "I'm afraid that a stone will stir up a thousand waves." I said, "Don't pull it, the price will not be a thousand waves, but it is just a water drift." Wife: "Honey, you're such a grandfather now, I'll be honest with you, 5,000!" I just wanted to get angry or pressed myself, and then stretched my eyebrows and said, "Alas, 5,000 yuan is just like this." ”

8, my girlfriend is going to have a birthday, I gave her a Porsche 911. The girlfriend was very excited and couldn't wait to learn a driver's license. I asked: Are you afraid of being scolded, I heard that the driving school instructor scolded people very harshly. The girlfriend said without caring: It's okay, the coach is my father, so he can't bear to scold me! As a result, the next day, my girlfriend came to me to cry, saying that her father was particularly cruel, as long as she took a wrong step, he would slap her head in front of all the students, and every time her head was buzzing. Other students saw this scene, learned very seriously, and then ten people only had girlfriends hanging up the subject.?

9, the wife silently actually resigned! I was very angry with my wife and quarreled, and no one let anyone. The mother-in-law and the father-in-law watched from the side in a hurry, pulling the wife for a few times! The wife shouted angrily: "If you can pass, you can't pass, you can't disperse!" I was also angry, and pulled my mother-in-law and said, "Mom, let's not talk to this crazy person!" Go, the weather is good today, I take you two to climb the mountain! The mother-in-law broke my hand, a look of panic: "Child, don't move, you can rest assured, I and your father help you teach her, we don't support you two to leave!" ”

10. Accidentally found Dad's private money hidden at the foot of the window. I was ecstatic to look at the Red Bulls. So I opened my mouth and shouted my mother, and as soon as I issued a "mom" word, my father kicked me and flew away. Suddenly crying, my mother heard the sound and rushed to the scene. I saw my dad wrapping himself around me and coaxing: Ah... The baby doesn't cry, it hurts to fall under the window, right?

11. Stole the Chinese cigarette that his father was reluctant to smoke and went to honor his father-in-law. My father-in-law was so happy that he had to stay at his house to eat. At the dinner table, my father-in-law told me that he was a stutterer when he was a child and was later cured. I asked him how he did it, and my father-in-law said that his father had found a home remedy from nowhere in order to cure his stuttering: it is said that in the instant of thunder, the stutterer slapped a big mouth, and the stuttering could be fine. And I asked, Dad, is that how you got cured?" Father-in-law: Of course not, but my father thought that the timing of the mouth was not mastered, so he slapped my mouth as soon as there was thunder, and I didn't want to be beaten to practice speaking every day, stuttering was good!!!!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #