1, the eldest sister-in-law is very beautiful. Divorced today. Move to my house. After dinner in the evening, the eldest sister-in-law wants to take a bath. My wife was afraid that I would peek at my sister-in-law taking a bath and told me to go out and hang out. I'm angry

1, the eldest sister-in-law is very beautiful. Divorced today. Move to my house. After dinner in the evening, the eldest sister-in-law wants to take a bath. My wife was afraid that I would peek at my sister-in-law taking a bath and told me to go out and hang out. I said indignantly, Am I that kind of person? Then I went out the door breathlessly. Just after arriving at the door of the community, a strange young woman pulled me aside. The young woman said that she had come here for a tour, and that her mobile phone and wallet had been stolen. Tell me to do well and lend her 50 bucks. She was hungry and wanted to have dinner. I was surprised and said, does it cost 50 yuan for dinner? I'll give you ten bucks, there's a bun shop over there, two bucks for a meat bun, and you can buy five. The young woman nodded and said, ten dollars is fine. ???

2, I do micro-business to sell slimming products, only one year to earn 1 million. Today I went to the Maserati 4S store to buy the president, and the sales manager warmly welcomed me. I took out my cigarette and put it in my mouth and just lit it, sales manager: Beauty, we don't let you smoke here. I got up and took two steps outside: Here? Sales Manager: Not either. I took a few more steps and asked: Is this okay? The sales manager shook his head: Still not. I continued to take two more steps outside and asked: Is it okay here too? The sales manager got angry: You're still asking me when you're done smoking?

3, on the day of the classmate party, the female classmate and her husband quarreled, she called me overnight, I was afraid that she would suffer losses, quickly drove the Tesla to go, after entering the door, the two people were arguing, the female classmate took my hand and said: "Brother, you said how I found him in the first place." The female classmate's husband looked at the Tesla key in my hand and said, "Brother, your car is a Tesla, can you borrow me for a meeting?" "You look at this person, the attention is actually here, looking at the face of the female classmate, I agreed." Then, he watched my Tesla go for a ride, I comforted the female classmate at home, busy for 2 hours, she was finally happy. I quickly called her husband and asked him to come back quickly, and the female classmate said: "What is the hurry, let him slowly return to it..." The key is that I am worried that the electricity will run out, why should I go home!

4. I graduated from HIT this year, and I set a goal myself, that is, I must save 300,000 yuan to buy a Passat. I'm sure I'll be able to do it as a 985 student. After half a year of unremitting efforts, I changed my goals. Don't buy a car this year, and strive to buy a suite next year. From today on, I insist that buying color drift is the last word!

5. When I got home from work at night, my wife sat unhappily on the sofa! I walked over and hugged her and said, "Baby, what's wrong with you?" The wife pursed her lips and said: Your ex-girlfriend came this afternoon, and I made her a table of delicious food! I was shocked and said: What did she come to do, didn't she argue with you? The wife said: She said, if I don't leave you, she won't live! I think this person must let her eat a good meal before she dies! ”

6. The abbot married a wife after he was still vulgar, and after marriage, the mother-in-law's family lived next door to the abbot's house. One night the abbot and his wife quarreled, and the abbot said angrily: "If you don't change your problem, I will ask your mother to return it!" Who expected this sentence to be heard by the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law immediately ran over with her wife's sister and said: "This year, if there is a reason for the wife to return the goods, the most can be exchanged!" ”?

7. When I came home from work this afternoon, my daughter-in-law came to me and said, "Honey, do you know what day it is?" How my mom suddenly asked this question! It looks like something is going to happen... At that time, my nervous sweat came out, and I said tremblingly, "I don't know... Dao..." I saw her smile slightly at that time and said, "Fortunately, you don't know, today is my girlfriend's birthday." "Oh my God! This is also too good to dig a pit! "

8. The brother-in-law was pregnant just two months after marriage, and he accompanied his wife to do a maternity examination yesterday. The brother-in-law is holding the checklist and watching. Suddenly the doctor came and said: This is not yours. The brother-in-law panicked at that time, and the wife immediately said: Husband, I'm sorry, I was wrong. He just wanted to do it, and the doctor took another checklist and said: Yes, this is yours!

9. Some time ago, my mother sent me a box of specialties from my old home. This morning, she called and said, "Girl, did you receive the courier I sent you?" I said, "No, but it should be almost here!" "Unexpectedly, the courier arrived at noon, but my last name was actually written wrong, resulting in me and the courier brother not on the code." This look at the sender is my mother is not wrong, but my name is Li Pingping, stunned is written as Zheng Pingping, I am 29 years old this year...

10, at that time, there was a game on the Internet that was particularly popular, and my cousin was ready to go to the Internet café to play games all night, so he took me to the supermarket to buy things, after all, I was the one who paid for him, and I couldn't take me without me. The cousin packed four large bags of snacks, and after checking out, the cashier sister smiled and asked, "Big brother, buy so many snacks, enough for you to eat for a week, right?" The cousin replied: "It's too small to look at people, where to take a week." The cashier girl: "Oh, then your appetite is quite good." Cousin: "So you're too small-minded." First, I am single. Second, it's just my amount in a day. "Cashier Girl: ...

11, A few years ago, I went on a trip with my aunt and slept in a room at night. When I woke up the next day, I found that my aunt had heavy dark circles and asked my aunt what was wrong. Aunt said, you said that you are a girl's family, sleep snoring even if it is, but also hit so personality, each snoring with a sharp whistle, very diuretic, I did not do anything one night, clean on the toilet!

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