After the sister-in-law took a bath, she came out wrapped in a bath towel. I looked at her carefully, and she was a little shy. I smiled and asked, "Do you feel like you change after you wash your hair?"

After the sister-in-law took a bath, she came out wrapped in a bath towel. I looked at her carefully, and she was a little shy. I smiled and asked, "Do you feel like you've become beautiful after washing your hair?" The sister-in-law was stunned for a moment, looked at the mirror in confusion, and said, "It seems a little!" I nodded my head in agreement and said, "Yeah, as soon as my head gets into the water, of course my thoughts are different!"

2) I've had obsessive-compulsive disorder since I was a kid, and whatever it is, I have to match him to be comfortable. For example, if a good friend of mine gave me a box of good tea leaves, I must buy a good tea set to accompany it. If I buy a good pair of leather shoes, I have to buy another set of clothes to wear with it. Until now I got a driver's license, this problem is good!

3, recently I found that my husband actually changed the password of the mobile phone, this day I took advantage of his not turning off the mobile phone, and a girl who often chatted sent a message. She messaged her husband: What are you doing! On a whim, I replied: I was thinking of you. The other person said: Really? I felt bored, so I replied: I sent the message just now, I am his wife. The other party seconds back: Great! I wondered: Huh? What's too good? The other party said: While they are not there, let's talk for a while, I am her husband!

4. Peek at my girlfriend's Alipay account, see her spending quota of up to 1.2 million, and immediately cash out 800,000 to my account.

While his girlfriend was asleep, he took the train with a bag on his back and ran away.

After getting on the train, I fell asleep and woke up in the morning to find that the zipper of my bag had been opened.

I quickly turned over the bag, there is only 5 cents left, call the police, what about the mobile phone?

I was so anxious that I was about to cry, and a girl next to me seemed to see something.

The girl said lightly: Big brother, how many meanings do you mean when you turn over my bag?

5, go to the buffet, I sit and look at the phone. The girlfriend went to fight first, and the girlfriend took the crabs that were still half a pot, divided into five sharp plates, put them in front of me, and then went to fight something else. I didn't pay attention, only to see the child at the next table crying and saying to me: Auntie, can you share a plate with me so many crabs? I found out that many people were taking plates and cooking, looking at me like gluttonous ghosts, so ashamed.

6, during the holidays, the wife got up early to cook, and then went shopping with girlfriends. After eating, my son carried his school bag to study with his classmates. Everyone is very positive, then I will be responsible for cleaning the dishes! I looked at the dirty dishes and dirty bowls in the sink, and the toys and dirty clothes in the living room fell into meditation...

7, the boss just held a meeting, you graduate students, can not sign the work will not work ah, the heart still has to put on scientific research, is not there a word "do not forget the original heart". What are your original intentions in graduate school? "Get a good job." Boss: "Isn't that a good job?" What kind of work do you talk about? The following was silent, and the second goods next to me muttered to me: "Only those who have more money and less work are called good jobs." "I...

8, a woman electric donkey was stolen to the police, the police said that the possibility of finding it is unlikely, the woman said that it does not matter whether the car is found or not, but there are poisonous peanuts and poisonous rats on the car, in case it is eaten by mistake, the consequences are unimaginable. As a result, in less than half a day, the car was found back, which is so witty!

9, thunder at night is very scary, my mother is afraid to let me sleep with her. I slept inaudibly and changed positions countless times throughout the night. When I got up in the morning, my mother said: You have grown so big, why are you still as bad as when you slept when you were a child? Kick me several times a night, and if you get married later, your husband will have to tie you up to get a good night's sleep. When I heard my mother finish, my face was red and tied up, and it was exciting to think about.

10 A hunter kills a wild boar on a mountain and is seen by a monk. The monk said, "If you kill a wild boar now, you will become a wild boar in the next life." What you kill, you have to become." The hunter was terrified, and soon he turned his gun on the monk. The monk exclaimed, 'What are you going to do?' The hunter said, "I'd rather be a monk than a wild boar."

11. Work in the same factory as a friend. Once a friend's label accidentally fell into the canteen, and the next day a girl in another workshop found her friend and gave him the label back! Friends to express their gratitude, please sister, drank a cup of winter milk tea, one after another, the two actually got better! This makes me envious! I quickly learned something and deliberately dropped the label in the canteen. The next day, the canteen aunt found me and said that she had picked up my label, and if I wanted the label, I needed a hard fee of 20 yuan, after all, it took 50 yuan to make up... 

12 I lay in bed in a daze, and my father thought I was asleep, so he choreographed me with my mother on the side.

Just listen to my father say: "You see that our daughter is too lazy, if you get married in the future, the man's family is estimated to have to add an ancestor." ”

The old mother then said, "Yeah, that's so pathetic, I really sympathize with the future son-in-law of our family." ”

Dad: "That's not it, if anyone can really marry our daughter, it must be because there are too many sins in the previous life, and it is not worthy of sympathy!"

13 Take the boyfriend of The North Drift home for dinner, Daddy didn't say much, but I wanted to investigate my subject.

Once, I overheard my father talking, and my father said: Our housekeeper has investigated, the family is in a good situation, the door is good, and the innocent and honest family is clean.

The mother said: There is nothing wrong with the body, right?

My dad: Yes, I got 100 million cash for him to help carry, deliberately did not work hard, he lifted it alone.

The mother thought about it and asked: Is there no disease in the brain?

Dad said: Very bright, talking without leaking.

Daddy thought about it so thoroughly, I was moved to tears.

At this time, the mother said again: This boy is not ugly, not stupid, good health, why would he look at our girl...