1, today, the wife is not at home, the beautiful sister-in-law came to my house again, I smiled and asked the sister-in-law: When will you return the 2,000 yuan you borrowed me last year, that is what I can't tolerate

1, today, the wife is not at home, the beautiful sister-in-law came to my house again, I smiled and asked the sister-in-law: When will you be able to return the 2,000 yuan you borrowed from me last year, that is the private money I have saved so hard, I am now running out of pocket money, anxious to wait for the money to be used. The sister-in-law looked at me and said: You can rest assured, I have my principles. I asked anxiously: What principle do you have, the sister-in-law said: My principle is that this meal can rub a meal is a meal, this money, can drag on a day is a day, really can't drag it out, just ask my sister to help me pay it back. I heard her say this, and quickly said: Okay, well, when you want to pay back this money, whenever you want.

2, cousin as a poor class, can not afford to buy a house, can not afford to buy a car, can not afford to buy a wife! I have always thought that the world of rich people must be very happy, because they can buy whatever they want, how can there be unhappy times. However, the cousin suddenly found that they also had unhappy times! Why? Because they can do whatever they want, and if they don't want to be happy, they are not happy

3. Some time ago, my brother did something wrong, and was punished by my sister-in-law for kneeling on the remote control and not allowed to change the station, and I was tired and half dead one night. The next day to find the old man, the old man to support, cut out the battery just fine. It worked well. The brother's good life was discovered by his sister-in-law a few days later, so he changed the law and asked his brother to change the stage from time to time, saying that the brother had to kneel out to change which one. Helpless, he went to find the old man to support him. The old man said this is simple, and then buy a remote control in the pocket, to change which, directly press on the line. Sure enough. Brother: It seems that ginger is still old and spicy!

4, I like a goddess for a long time, is not the courage to confess, I came up with a strange trick, ready to confess secretly, I will through many inquiries, finally know her contact information. That night, I texted her and said, "Who am I, I've liked you for two years, and I've always wanted to confess to you, I just don't have that courage!" Do you see you can accept me not? Suddenly, the roommate on the lower bunk said to me, "You are sick, I didn't expect you to be like this, tomorrow I will move away!" ”

5. Aunt Wang will introduce the children of distant relatives to me. I came to the window position of the café, just sat down, the waiter came over and said: Beauty, hello, our boss has explained, you can drink anything you want, he gives you a free order! I wonder, I don't know your boss? Waiter: Our boss is your blind date, as soon as you enter the door, the boss will see you, said there is no need to say goodbye, let me treat you well!

6. The mother-in-law runs a plastic surgery hospital and pays special attention to her appearance. Some time ago, after giving birth to her second child, her figure was seriously out of shape, and she could not accept the blow for a while and killed herself. When the father-in-law was old and inconvenient to take care of the little uncle, he talked about a young and beautiful nurse girlfriend. In order to get close to her parents, her father-in-law went to her house at both ends of the three days. Once he overheard the nurse's girlfriend's parents talking in the room. Her father: When the boy came to the house at two ends of the three days, he not only had trouble, but also delayed us in doing a lot of work, and he had to spend money to get some wine and vegetables to entertain him. Her mother: What are you in a hurry! When the bride price is paid, these are all counted, and this missed work fee! father-in-law:......

7. I still remember that in the year of graduation of the third year of high school, the class teacher took the big guys out to drink together. It is estimated that it was also the first indulgence, everyone opened their bellies to drink to death, and the party dispersed and went home separately. I wandered slowly past the park downstairs in the community, and I couldn't stand it, so I lay on a bench and fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, I saw that I had a blanket on my body. I was overjoyed, felt like I had met a good person, and then rolled over and was shocked. I go, what about my phone? The wallet is also missing, no, what about Lao Tzu's clothes??

8. After her mother retired from Sinopec, she was idle at home all day and had nothing to do, so she went to the community square to dance square dance all day long. A few days ago, a salesman came to the community and deceived many elderly people to buy windows. My mother was also brainwashed, and I had to spend 100,000 yuan to buy her a window. I looked up the information on the Internet, studied it carefully, and explained the principle to her from a medical point of view. At the time, I thought I was justified and could not refute it at all. After all was said and done, I said, "Mom, do you understand?" The old mother sighed: I understand, they are all deceitful, and what to say about raising children and preventing old age is indeed a lie.

9. After playing basketball on the basketball court, my cousin went to the nearby fruit drink shop with his golfers to drink Coke. Among them, the doctor was knowledgeable, detailed the history of Coke and the difference between Coca-Cola and Pepsi in sweetness and taste, and then asked his cousin why he liked to drink Pepsi. Cousin said: Because the same is 3 dollars, Pepsi more than 100 ml!

10. A black African studied in China for four years and returned to his country after graduation. He claimed to be a Chinese character master, so he held a Chinese language learning class with this reputation, and many students came to him. In that class, he said: Chinese like to call objects things, such as pencils, teacups, etc., but living animals are not called things, such as birds and people. Then he pointed to the students and said, "So, neither you nor he are things, and I certainly are not things."

11. Working at the State Grid for five years, although the work is stable, I am a little tired, so I want to quit my job and start my own business. As a result, my wife knew about it and had a big fight with me, and directly returned to her mother's house in a rage. When my son saw his wife running out, he pulled me and said, "Dad, go after my mother?" I was also angry when I heard it, and said: Adults talk and children don't interject, don't go !!!! The son listened and said, "Then I called my grandmother!!!! After saying that, I took my mobile phone and called my mother-in-law and said: Grandma, you are about to lock the door, my mother has gone to your house to rub rice again!!!!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #