1. Today the landlady asked me to go out to drink, because my alcohol intake is particularly good, so ten bottles of beer under the belly, people are not dizzy, not dizzy. Several times the landlady had intended to attack me, but no

1. Today the landlady asked me out for a drink, because my alcohol intake is particularly good, so ten bottles of beer under the stomach, people are not dizzy, not dizzy. Several times the landlady tried to attack me, but didn't find the opportunity. Finally, the landlady ran out of patience and directly proposed non-divisional ideas to me, but I was completely uninterested. I told her a pair, if you are right, you want to get my appeal, I am acceptable. I said: "Looking back on the past, it is like a dream, but I don't know that I am a guest in my dream, I am greedy and happy, and I am tired of beautiful people for no reason!" Falling flowers? How can you remember that you are delusional or unintentional, heaven and earth? The landlady was immediately confused: "So long? Who can come up to you? ”

2. The wife calls the husband into the living room. Wife: "Didn't you say there was no private money?" The husband slyly argued: "Yeah, I really didn't hide!" The wife was furious: "Today you just sent money to a woman, lie to you think I don't know?" Husband: "You... How do you know? The wife sneered, "The one you sent money to is my trumpet!" ”

3. The leader held a year-end summary meeting, he took several pages of manuscripts, five big points and thirteen small points, talked for an hour, colleagues secretly went out to drink water, smoke, go to the toilet, the leader was very unhappy. Suddenly my stomach hurts, I may be sleeping cold, I just want to get up and go to the toilet, the leader finished speaking: I will talk so much, do you have anything to add? Hearing this, I didn't dare to stand up, nor did I dare to sit down, bending over to maintain that position. The leader was angry: Who do you pose this pose to? There are words to say quickly, there are farts to put quickly! I don't know what to say, one didn't hold back, let go of a loud and smelly fart, colleagues all laughed, and the leader's face was green. The chief of staff hit the round field: really obedient, let him let him go! We need such employees to unconditionally carry out the orders of the leader.

4. Once upon a time there was an alcoholic, who was so drunk that he couldn't live without drinking a few bottles a day. But since he insisted on going to a hotel to buy alcohol, he miraculously quit drinking. On this day, he came to this hotel with a lot of gifts to thank him, and the owner of the shop asked strangely: "You buy wine, I sell wine, what is there to thank you for?" The drunkard said with a serious face, "Of course thank you!" If you hadn't gradually mixed water into the wine you sold me in the past few years, how could I quit drinking now? Now, I can drink a glass of water at home and get over the addiction. ”

5. My daughter-in-law, who has been ligature for many years, suddenly became pregnant, and I did not hesitate to divorce my daughter-in-law. Heartbroken, I was ready to go to Yunnan by myself, I first went to the wholesale market to buy a batch of small trinkets worth three yuan and four cents, and began my Yunnan self-driving tour. Use navigation to walk less high-speed, county by county, live in the cheapest hotel, meals can be eaten on the line, trinkets sell for five yuan a, played this for three months, and now also earned more than three thousand yuan ...

6. The company has a very old-fashioned colleague, obviously very young, but he knows nothing about many worldly things. Today, when I was playing V-letter shake with my mobile phone, my colleague came to me and said, "What are you doing?" I smiled and said, "This is a V-letter shake, you can shake the person who shakes with you at the same time, but your Nokia can't use it." A colleague asked me, "Is that computer okay?" I looked at him very sincerely and said, "It can be, but brother, you must know that the weight of this host is hard work!" After listening to it, he said happily: "Brother, it's all right, I have the strength!" ”

7. My cousin works in a bar and has never found a boyfriend. Recently found their other half, and today the two of them had a wedding. At the wedding, the celebrant asked her cousin: Who of you two chased first? My cousin smiled and said with a big grin: To tell you the truth, I chased my husband first. The groom immediately answered the call: This feels true, that day she chased me around the street with a wooden stick, not forcing me to be her boyfriend, I was afraid of being beaten and had to agree!

8. The brother-in-law gets a monthly salary of 2800 for working in Futukang, and he thinks that he is too low to work at night to do Didi part-time. Unexpectedly, last night, he also pulled in his ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend! The destination was his ex-girlfriend's home, and everyone pretended not to know each other, speechless along the way. Originally, there was nothing wrong with peace and security, but the ex-girlfriend's father went out to greet the shocked and said: Girlfriend, what happened to you, why did both of them call back, is it to compete for relatives?

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