1, the first time to spend the night at the girlfriend's house, the night is very late, the future mother-in-law has been mopping the floor in the living room. I asked her: Does Auntie not sleep so late? Who knows, she said in the old man:I will delay it any longer

1, the first time to spend the night at the girlfriend's house, the night is very late, the future mother-in-law has been mopping the floor in the living room. I asked her: Does Auntie not sleep so late? Who knows, she said in the old man's house: I will delay for a while and then go to sleep. But auntie, you are dragging from nine o'clock to twelve o'clock, and I should be asleep after a little longer.........

2, today is my wife's birthday, I am going to cook her a few dishes at home, I am cutting onions, full of tears. My son came over and saw me like this and asked me, "Dad, what's wrong with you?" I just wanted to say that I cut the onion, but I didn't expect my son to say: You see that you are out of this point, isn't it your daughter-in-law's birthday? As for? Don't say I'm your dad when you go out! Daughter-in-law's birthday, my son was almost beaten to death by me...

3, the husband can't sleep over and over, wife: Can't you sleep? Husband: I borrowed the money from lao Zhang next door, it will expire tomorrow, and I can't pay it back! The wife listened, went to the window and called: Old Zhang, my husband has no money to pay you back tomorrow. After saying that, he said to her husband: You can sleep in peace, now it is the turn of Lao Zhang to sleep...

4. A female colleague of the company liked me and openly pursued me for more than a year, often confessing to me in public, but I was not cold to her, and I rejected it. Today, the female colleague confessed to me in front of everyone, and I pulled the female colleague aside and said: I have a girlfriend, and we are very affectionate, and she will be angry if you do this again. The female colleague asked me unforgivingly: Then you tell me whether I am good-looking or your girlfriend is good-looking, and I answer truthfully: you are beautiful. The female colleague asked again: Compared with her, how is my figure? I replied: Nature is better than you. The female colleague asked: If this is the case, why can't you accept me? I was a little annoyed by the female colleague's question, directly took the female colleague's hand to the parking space, pointed to the sports car and said: I saw that the sports car was not, it was my girlfriend who gave me some time ago

5. Today I picked up a Huawei P40 on the road, so I quickly picked it up and put it in my pocket. Then the owner called, and she cried and begged me to return the phone to her. As soon as I heard that the girls were begging like this, I made an appointment with her. Unexpectedly, my sister was a person who knew how to be grateful, and she dragged me to dinner and said that she was grateful. Gracious but went, half of the food she went out to answer a phone call no one...

6. After working in Haidilao for half a year, the husband of the female store manager died in a car accident, leaving her with more than 1 million yuan of inheritance. I have always had a crush on the female store manager, and now I can finally pursue her in a bright way. There were only two of us working overtime at the company last night, and I kissed her while she wasn't paying attention. Then see how she reacted, and after two minutes, she said, "You stole kiss me, what are you blushing about?" ”?

7. Working in the Ford production workshop, I was smashed by the machine once because of carelessness. After lying in the hospital for two months, I suddenly received a call from my manager at 12 o'clock last night. He asked me, "Little King, what happened to your hands?" I was touched at the time, I didn't expect the manager to call me personally to care about me, and immediately said no problem! As a result, the manager said: No problem, you can go back to the company to work overtime now, I will send a car to pick you up!

8. Visiting his brothers' house on the weekend, he found that his son was stealing money and was teaching him a lesson. After watching for a while, seeing that the fight was fierce, I hurriedly broke the siege, went to pull the buddies away, and took the children to the side. "How dare you!" Also steal money! I also said two words to him. His tears fell down in a flurry of tears: "I stole money, I took my pressed old money, my father said to help me save it, when the time comes, give it to me, this is going to be the New Year again, he will not give it to me!" I stole my own money! ”

9. I am a graduate of Lanxiang Beauty Salon, and recently I opened a barber shop in the town. On this day came a handsome little fresh meat, I quickly greeted it: handsome man, what kind of hairstyle to cut? Small fresh meat: Cut a hairstyle with a high left and a low right, a pinch of hair in the front and two pits in the back. To tell you the truth, I was directly confused at the time and said: Handsome man, I can't do this hairstyle you are talking about? The little fresh meat slapped me and scolded: I will go to yours! Didn't you cut it for me last time..."

10, get up in the morning, go downstairs to buy breakfast, found a couple because they want to buy Mercedes-Benz or Audi quarrel, women want to buy Mercedes-Benz said good-looking, men want to buy Audi said mature and safe. They agreed to go one to the left, one to the right, and after a hundred steps to turn back and if they could see each other, they would be reconciled. They took a step each, and they didn't hold back and turned back. As a result they broke up because the smog was too bad.....?

11. After returning from studying abroad, I have been working as a waiter in a bar. Yesterday I saw a white rich beauty crying and drinking, and I couldn't help but come forward to comfort her. She said to me, "Am I not pretty?" Why I just can't find a boyfriend, I just want to find a boyfriend who can pay attention to me all the time, can know that I am in a bad mood for a while, and then comfort my boyfriend. Hearing this, I gave her a direct slap. Bai Fumei was suddenly confused, and I continued: "Baby, have you been beaten by someone, is it very painful?" Does it matter? Don't be sad, I'm here! ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #