1, just entered the company and the female leader fell in love, the female leader said to me on the birthday: "You kiss me, I will give you a thousand." I said happily, "Talk counts?" The female leader nodded,

1, just entered the company and the female leader fell in love, the female leader said to me on the birthday: "You kiss me, I will give you a thousand." I said happily, "Talk counts?" The female leader nodded, and I happily went up and hugged it and kissed it twenty times. The female leader was angry: "Let you kiss it, how did you kiss it so much?" I can only give you the money to kiss it!" I slapped her angrily and said, "How do you talk doesn't count, you're stupid?" Now what to do, for the sake of integrity, I seem to have lost all my career love!

2. When I came home from work, I stood on the bus for more than an hour, and the cocoons on my hands were worn out. Seeing a buddy put away his phone, I squeezed next to him and waited to take his seat. As a result, the half-day buddies did not have the intention of getting up. I didn't hold back and asked him: Brother, why don't you get out of the car and put away your mobile phone? The buddy looked at me with a confused look on his face and said: My phone is out of battery!

3. When my brother was in high school, he had a crush on the girl behind him. They had a basketball game at school that day, and my brother was the main player in the class. The girl my brother liked was also present that day, and in the final moments of the game, my brother threw a key goal. He ran excitedly to high-five! Maybe he was overly excited, he didn't have any force when he high-fived the girl he liked, and directly slapped the girl on the head, and the girl turned around angrily and left. So my brother's first love ended before it started...

4, the daughter-in-law hated me to use Xiaomi mobile phone, and a rich second generation with Huawei p40 is good. I had to find a woman who was married twice, and after marriage, we both lived happily. My wife woke up that morning and looked at me thoughtfully for a long time. I was a little flustered at the time, and according to experience, I must have dreamed that I had done something to be sorry for her, and wanted to take the opportunity to get mad. I immediately started to be strong: Daughter-in-law, what do you want to eat tonight? Last time you said you wanted to eat spicy crayfish, let's go tonight, right? Daughter-in-law: These don't matter, I had a dream. I immediately said: Daughter-in-law, dreams are all reversed, you must not take it seriously, I especially love you! My daughter-in-law immediately glared at me and said, "But I dreamed that you were very kind to me, especially well-behaved.

5. The local tycoon visits the abbot: "Master, I am very rich now, but I am not happy at all, can you tell me what to do?" The abbot asked, "What is wealth?" The local tycoon replied: "8 figures in the bank card, wudaokou has 4 suites is not rich?" The abbot did not speak, only held out his right hand, and the local tycoon suddenly realized: "The master let me know how to be grateful and reciprocate?" Abbot: "No, the local tycoon... We...... Can I be friends? Local tycoon: "Rich!" Just want to say that you are very rich! ”"

6, dad transferred 10 million to me, I bought three shops, a monthly rent of 200,000, bought a Porsche, 10 million is gone, so I found a company to work, salary of 4,000 yuan a month, bought five insurance and one gold, work is to play soy sauce, go home after work to play LOL, go to travel on vacation. Friends say that I have no pursuit, still nibble old, I am also struggling every day, such a day is not suitable for 24-year-old me! Heck, it's rent collection time again!

7, these days girlfriend did not contact me, a question to know that it is a cold caused by fever, I said to buy her some medicine, eat can reduce fever, she said not to eat. I said: Since you don't take medicine, then go to the hospital for anti-fever injections. She doesn't fight either. When I had no choice, I asked her: What do you want to do? She said: I have been waiting for a long time to hope that I have a fever, so that I can burn some fat, you have to let me get rid of the fever, what do you mean?

8. When I was a child, I was very naughty, and I always ran out to play because I didn't study well, resulting in beatings. I once went to play with my little one, and he taught me to solve this problem. Send a novel, every time the time schedule can not come, it will lose the dice to solve, the first five numbers represent learning, only 6 is to play. And I found that the small parents agreed with this approach. I asked the question: Why do you keep casting and throwing it out four times to learn. Fa Xiao said calmly: Do things to be patient, more than a few times will always be play!?

9. Old Li saw Lao Zhang holding a duck and asked in a confused way: "The child will take the college entrance examination tomorrow, and there is still time to raise ducks?" Lao Zhang said: "It was bought for her to play, one to relieve the pressure, and the other is that she is not a dog, the dog picks up the duck - croaking, figure a color head." Old Li was justified and rushed to the vegetable market, but he did not find anyone who sold ducks, so he had to buy half a roast duck. In the evening, the son took a bite of the duck meat, then frowned and said, "Dad, didn't roast well..."?

10, the ex-girlfriend suddenly called me, opened her mouth and said: "Send you a few photos!" "Oh, how many years has this been, I didn't expect to still think about me, excitedly asked her: "Miss me?" She was angry: "Less nonsense, these days weight loss failure, get a few photos to look at when hungry, remember to see you full before!" ”

11 Years later, when he was finally released from prison, he ran into a bar with great excitement, asked for a beer, and then proudly pulled out the fly, to the bartender, you see this fly. Before he could finish speaking, the bartender immediately slapped the fly to death with a slap, and then said in horror, I'm sorry sir, I'll give you another drink right away.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #