Take 8 workers to the restaurant to eat seafood buffet, 38 yuan a person. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. When you are ready to go after checkout

Take 8 workers to the restaurant to eat seafood buffet, 38 yuan a person. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. When I was ready to leave after checkout, I also brought 16 bottles of red wine. The waiter gave them a blank look and said, "You can't take it outside here." The owner of the construction site shouted: "Then give me another 200 pounds of pippi shrimp." The store manager hurriedly walked over: "Let them take it and go, hurry up and let me go!"

2. After work today, I went to buy duck necks with a colleague and weighed a whole root for 14.3 yuan. I haven't paid yet, I said, chop it up for me. When chopping, I saw pieces of duck neck flying around. On a whim, will there be less scales after chopping? So, I said trouble to weigh it again. She said, 14.5 yuan, so I gave her 14.5 yuan.

3. It's about to start winter, and the mother takes her young son to the mall to buy autumn pants. The younger son raised his little head and asked his mother curiously, "What are autumn pants?" The mother told the younger son: "Autumn pants are worn in autumn and winter." At the counter, the salesman asked, "How long do you need to be?" Without waiting for the mother to speak, the younger son rushed to answer: "From September to February next year!" ”

4. Last night, I was looking down at my phone while crossing the road, and when I crossed the sidewalk, a car was speeding towards me. At the moment of the first shot, I actually forgot to dodge, raised my hand, made a stop gesture, and shouted to stop. Then the car stopped, scared me into a cold sweat, the driver got out of the car to see me on the side of the road, said: when the car comes, you don't run, make a parking gesture, you think you have the power of the flood? I...... Well, that's right, I admit, that's why my boyfriend calls me a fool every day.

5. The girlfriend's boyfriend eloped with an old rich woman in order to drive a BMW 525. I watched my girlfriend looking for a job, so I drove her to the countryside. Parking the car by the river, my girlfriend and I got out of the car, and my girlfriend's Alaskan sled dog whizzed out, and a puff of smoke disappeared. We hurriedly followed, and not far away, Alaska was sniffing in circles around a Rolls-Royce. I asked my girlfriend: Is there a bad guy in the car? Girlfriend: That's my ex-boyfriend's car!

6. The little uncle is a courier who often delivers couriers to a beautiful woman in a villa area. After a long time, the little uncle liked her, and that time he plucked up the courage to confess to her. The beauty did not agree on the spot, but asked the little uncle to wait for her downstairs, saying that she would marry him after waiting for 100 days. As a result, on the 99th day, the little uncle smiled and left. I asked him: You succeeded right away, why did you leave suddenly? The little uncle explained: At that time, I didn't expect that I could persist for such a long time, and I thought in my heart, I have such a great perseverance, why not do micro-business?

7. Xiao Meng is a science teacher who is now assigned to work at a remote mountain village school. In the first lesson, Xiaomeng teacher taught the students what modern science is and how it promotes human progress. She also talked about spaceships and how humans landed on the moon, among other things. The students listened with relish. After class, he asked the students what questions they had. A student asked, "Teacher, when will there be buses in our village?" ”

8. The mother-in-law and the father-in-law had to go back to their hometown for a few days because of an emergency, so they put the 4-year-old sister-in-law in my house and asked her to help take care of it. In the evening, I had just taken my sister-in-law to the house. During the meal, I jokingly asked my sister-in-law: "We are going to raise a pig, but we need to arrange work, we have to choose a person to feed the pig delicious food every day, a person to clean the pig's room every day, a person to bathe the pig every day, and a person to play with the pig every day, what are you going to do?" The sister-in-law didn't even think about it and said, "I want to be a pig!" ”

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #