At night, my husband hugged me from behind, I got up at once, my stomach turned upside down, rushed into the toilet and vomited, not that I didn't love him, it was that I couldn't get over the hurdle in my heart, I was about to be tortured

At night, my husband hugged me from behind, I got up at once, my stomach turned upside down, rushed into the toilet and vomited, not that I didn't love him, it was that I couldn't get over the hurdle in my heart, I was about to be tortured crazy...

I am 38 years old, married for 15 years and have two daughters, one 12 and one 6.

At first we worked in a company, and then there was a unit in Shenzhen that paid him a high salary to let him go, he thought of separating the two places, I was just pregnant, I did not trust me, I insisted on letting him go.

Good boy, ambition in all directions, since there is such an opportunity, and still young, but I never expected that my husband actually did something sorry for me.

After my husband began to earn a high salary, I quit my job to take my children at home, sell things on WeChat in my spare time, and build a shopping group by myself. So WeChat set up no verification to add friends.

At the end of last year, a stranger sent a voice saying that she wanted to buy something, and after I quoted the price, she directly transferred money and sent an address, and the phone number and recipient turned out to be my husband.

I immediately clicked on her circle of friends, and the recent dynamic posted a photo of a table of people eating, which was all men except for one woman, including my husband.

With the woman's intuition, I knew that something was wrong, and I flew to Shenzhen that night and caught the appearance.

The woman did not hurry to get dressed, took the bag to leave, I rushed up to beat her, and my husband actually hugged me.

I reflexively punched and kicked my husband, crying while hitting, "Why are you doing this to me, why?" ”

My husband didn't dodge or dodge, he let go of his hand, so he lowered his head to let me hit, I directly hit him until I had no strength, and he was scratched with injuries all over his face.

Suddenly he knelt down for me and begged for my forgiveness. He said he was too lonely, he still loved me, and for a moment he didn't control it.

I was getting angry, took out the phone, and gave it to my parents, his parents, his sister, his sister, all his relatives. And told them that I was going to get a divorce and that he had to get out of the house.

The next day, I greeted and went back to my mother's house, and on the third day, he appeared in front of me and said that he had quit his job, cut off the contact information of everyone in the company, and wanted to come back to find a job. At the same time, he knelt down in front of my parents and begged me to forgive him.

I couldn't do it, and I was disgusted when I thought about that scene.

Later, my husband came to me five times, sometimes with his parents, sometimes with his sisters and sisters, and finally with two daughters to beg me, and said that the house would be transferred to my name, and the salary card would be handed in later. I looked at the child's face and went home with him.

But I really can't get over that hurdle, although I have returned, but my heart has not been put down, how many nights I opened my eyes until dawn, every time I think of that scene I will go crazy.

For many nights in a row, I hit him when I couldn't sleep, and when I was tired, I lay down and let the tears slip.

As soon as he hit him, he knelt down and begged for forgiveness. And I became sensitive and irritable. As soon as I saw him looking at his phone, I began to imagine if he was doing something bad again, and for this reason, his phone was broken by me five or six times.

This year he found a new job, the first time he went home after work every day, did not add female colleagues WeChat, did not participate in company parties, at home, did not let me do any work, every night also made hot water to let me soak my feet, everything looked at my face to act, I knew, he wanted to make up, but the more he did this, the more angry I became.

In this way, life was calm again on the surface. But only I know, I can't forget at all, in the past six months, every day is better than death, I asked myself, whether I really don't love, but the answer is, I still love him, but the heart can't get over.

I also tried to forgive him in the past, but as soon as he came close to me, I would think of that scene and then feel sick and want to vomit.

Last week, I thought about it again and again, I still want to divorce him, I hope he will be perfect, I also let myself go, don't torture each other anymore. He didn't agree to it, and while crying, he asked me loudly: "Why can't I forgive him, he just made a mistake on impulse, he knew he was wrong." ”

When the two daughters came back from school to see this scene, they both threw themselves into my arms and cried and said, "Mom, I don't want you to be separated from your father, I don't want my stepfather and my stepmother, I just want you, don't you love me?" ”

In the face of children, my heart is soft again, I really don't know what to do, who of you can tell me, whether I am divorced or not divorced in this marriage?

@Miss Yao Family has something to say:

Hello lady! Marriage is the fruit of love, in a long marriage, it is inevitable that there will be helplessness, heartache and even grievances.

Your husband has done something sorry for you, he is trying to do everything to make up for it, in your heart, there is a shadow, this is the common sentiment of people, indicating that you love him, so you care.

You said that you have asked yourself, do you still love your husband, the answer is love, but you will always think of the past before, in fact, it is not long enough, this is only half a year.

This process, in general, has a minimum cycle of more than one year. But at present, your whole state is not good, and your heart is very resistant to your husband, so my personal advice is to go out and travel first, walk around, and relax more. Think more about the advantages of your husband.

It's best not to rush to divorce first, after all, you still have two lovely children. Believe that time can smooth everything out.

Guys, do you think he should get a divorce?