40 years ago, there was a woman who slept until three o'clock in the middle of the night, and when she wanted to go out to defecate, she asked a man to accompany her. Women go into the toilet, men are outside, wearing only sweat pants and closing their eyes. There was a guy watching a movie on his way home

40 years ago, there was a woman who slept until three o'clock in the middle of the night, and when she wanted to go out to defecate, she asked a man to accompany her. Women go into the toilet, men are outside, wearing only sweat pants and closing their eyes. A guy was passing home from a movie, punched him, and the man screamed and fell. The woman came out and grabbed it and said: Why are you beating my man? yes! I thought it was a ghost....

2. My cousin is sick and hospitalized, and the attending doctor is his ex-girlfriend. This was embarrassing, the cousin was about to leave, but was stopped and said: "You are in line, now it is you, come in!" After the cousin went in, he said embarrassedly: "Doctor, look at it, it is cured, please eat!" The ex-girlfriend smiled and said, "I want to solve it at a meal, it's cured, introduce me to a boyfriend!" The cousin is more embarrassed, the ex-boyfriend gave the introduction, it sounds funny, but look at her serious expression, the eyes have been staring? Looking at the cousin, the cousin did not dare to smile, nodded his head and agreed.? Later, the cousin really sent a lot of colleague photos to her, and none of them replied, the cousin: "Want to fulfill your promise?" target. She didn't look at a lot of photos

3. The little girlfriend is a car model, very beautiful, and the two met at the auto show. Last night at Quanjude for a drink, I asked her how she had chased her girlfriend. He replied to me: "There is no special skill in this kind of thing, when I brushed the circle of friends, I saw that she wanted to eat the sundae, but there was no KFC around, I immediately bought it and sent it to her." I said, "I see, the point is to do what it likes?" Fa Xiao shook his head: "Of course not, it's all up to my Ferrari to drive fast, you take the bus to the Sundae Creation."

4. My girlfriend is a flight attendant, she is born beautiful and has big legs, I am very envious. Later, she met a local tycoon on the plane, and she did not expect that the two were in the same city, so she recognized him as a dry father. One day, my girlfriend secretly bought a Maserati with her father's credit card, but she didn't expect to crash the next day. Then she went to the insurance company to settle the claim. Not long after the result, the girlfriend called the local tycoon and said that she had a quarrel with the insurance company! The local tycoon rushed over to inquire about the situation with a confused face. The insurance officer said helplessly: "Uncle, it's not that we don't lose, you see such a big road on a telephone pole, you say she is practicing car training or practicing aiming!" ”

5. The sister-in-law wanted to buy a Givenchy dress, but was refused by her brother. That night, the sister-in-law decided to take revenge on her brother, and she deliberately put on lipstick while his brother was drunk, and then kissed her brother's clothes a few times! The next day, my sister-in-law asked my brother: What did you do outside last night? Look at this lipstick print! My brother looked at it and started laughing wildly! Sister-in-law: You made a mistake, and you even smiled? Brother: Wife, don't be funny, such a big lipstick mark, who else but you has such a big mouth!

6. Waiting for the subway in the morning, I saw a man on the phone that end has been bragging, what a few sports cars and a few villas! I couldn't listen to it, so I went up to him and said, "Big brother, look at you so kindly, you really look like my ex-boyfriend." The guy looked at me triumphantly and said, "Really? There are not many handsome people like me, how did you separate from him? I replied, "Even if you look ugly, you still like to brag, and you can't help but beat him away!" ”

7. A peasant went into the city and saw the blood collection truck, and asked the people in the city very puzzled: "What is it doing over there?" The townspeople said in a contemptuous voice, "Blood collection car, you don't understand!" The farmer said with great disdain: "My hometown has long used this, we use biological nanotechnology to absorb human blood, which greatly saves labor!" The people in the city were surprised: "Where is your hometown?" Why is it so developed? The peasant laughed: "The blood collection in our hometown is all mosquito blood sucking, not at all like you city people, and taking a blood is also collected!" ”

 8. Less than a month after the start of the university, the two good-looking buddies in the dormitory took the lead in getting off the list. At night, when they go to bed, they talk to each other about their girlfriends. The top bunk said, "My girlfriend is very good at health!" Go to bed at nine o'clock every day. The man on the bottom bunk said, "My girlfriend works hard!" Every day I learned to reply to my messages until nine o'clock. I weakly asked, "Your girlfriend is not alone, is she?" ”

 9. I slept until after ten o'clock this morning, and after washing up, I opened the game and prepared to come to the killing. As a result, I became more and more hungry, and I couldn't play games again, so I had to let my nephew go downstairs to help me buy something to eat. I gave him 20 bucks, the supermarket is downstairs, who knows this goods went half a day back to me to carry 20 chewing gum. He also said to me with a proud face: Rest assured, there is no loss!

 10. On this day, I went to the kindergarten to pick up my son from school, and I vaguely heard my son bragging at the same table. The son said: "Once, my father fell into the water while traveling in the Arctic, and seeing that his life was in danger, he was in a hurry, grabbed the penguin swimming in the water, and went ashore safely. The table mates did not believe it and asked the son to come up with evidence. My son pointed to me standing at the school gate and said, "My dad is alive and well now, and that's the best proof." ”

 11: Go to a movie with your boyfriend, and when you enter the scene, you see the little couple in front of you holding a bouquet of roses. I pulled my boyfriend aside: "You see how romantic people are, I want it too." The boyfriend looked at it and patted his head: "I forgot about this stubble." "After saying that, I turned my head and went out. A few minutes later, my boyfriend handed me a bucket of popcorn: "The small bucket is afraid that you won't have enough to eat, so I bought you a big bucket of popcorn, and there is another surprise." After saying that, he took out a bag of twist flowers from behind.

12. It was still raining heavily outside, and from the balcony I saw a little boy on the side of the road carrying a school bag and walking with an umbrella. A red Mazda cart drove very fast, splashing all the way as it passed him. The child reacted quickly, pointed the umbrella at the side of the car, the window was half open, and splashed the woman's body on the co-pilot. Only a scream was heard, and then the car stopped and down a man. I thought the child was going to suffer a loss, who knew that the child jumped into the water and stomped on it, splashed the man's body, and then ran into the residential building next to it and disappeared...