1． I went on a business trip with the hostess, and when she came back, she got pregnant and fired me, and I was furious, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were fired, I said

1． I went on a business trip with the hostess, and when she came back, she got pregnant and fired me, and I was furious, so I found the boss. The hostess said. Do you know why you were expelled, I said I don't know, didn't I buy milk powder for the child? The hostess said no, why do others send you a happy one next time? After saying that, he threw the beer lid on my head. Heck, how do people now know that this is power. There was no way but to look for a job. Find a factory, the security guard will not let in, there is no way but to say to the security guard: I came to find the daughter-in-law, the security guard said: Who is your daughter-in-law, say the name I am sure, just next to the list of excellent employees in the factory, I casually read a xxx. Then the security guard took the baton and began to beat me: She is my daughter-in-law, what is your relationship with my daughter-in-law. Then I was kicked out.

2． The brother-in-law was hit by a Bentley on the way to buy vegetables, and died on the spot with cerebral hemorrhage, and the owner of the car lost more than 9 million yuan. The sister immediately became a rich woman, and there were many young men pursuing her. My sister asked a handsome guy, "You want to be my boyfriend, so what would you do?" The handsome guy said very seriously, "I will love you." The sister was immediately happy and asked, "It seems that you can do anything, so what can you not do?" The handsome guy said solemnly, "I'm not going to leave you." "Then my sister married this young man...

3. On weekends off, I went to the market early in the morning to buy vegetables and stopped by to get a haircut. Halfway through the road, I met my third aunt and asked me why I said I cut my hair, she said: "This last episode of shearing still costs money, go to your cousin's scissors, we are all relatives, and your cousin has just learned to cut his hair, give a show." "I believe in my third aunt, and I don't know who my cousin learned to cut his hair, nor where he bought the electric fader." Where is this head shear, one by one, which is shaved head is clearly shaved.....

4. When I started school, I asked my father to transfer living expenses to me, but I didn't expect him to hit a few more zeros, and two thousand yuan became two hundred thousand! I don't even think about blocking him directly. When I came home a while ago, I found that I had moved! I found a phone to call my dad, and it turned out that the number had become empty! Isn't it more than a hundred thousand, as for this?

5. The sister-in-law does not do her business all day, often follows a group of spiritual boys to mix with gems, and is also obsessed with watching movies. Today at home to watch a movie, the result of the virus, blue screen, just call me to check it out. As a senior programmer, I watched it for 5 minutes and then asked, "Is this monitor of yours produced by Ha Liu?" The sister-in-law didn't understand this either, and casually replied, "Hmm." Then I said, "What Harbin Pharmaceutical Sixth Factory produces is blue screen." ”

6． The cousin is a live executive who drives a Bentley every day and lives in a villa with a sea view, but he has never found a girlfriend. The main reason was that he was too short, and he went around looking for medicine to increase his height. Once in a Baojian shop, I saw that there was a heightening medicine, and my cousin was immediately moved! The hostess said that the sky was crazy, and the cousin immediately spent 30,000 yuan to buy a treatment. As a result, a year has passed, the medicine has no effect, the cousin went to the pharmacy theory. The lady boss asked him, "Do you think you can still grow taller?" The cousin said despondently, "No." Lady boss: "You know you can't do it, can you blame me?" ”

7. A: How can I live a long life? B: Quit drinking. A: I don't drink. B: Quit color. A: I don't like women. B: Vegetarian. A: I don't eat meat! B: So why do you want to live a long life?

8. The driver's license has been in hand for more than a year, and after hearing the news of the demolition of my hometown yesterday, I immediately found a buddy who knew how to drive me to accompany me to buy a car. After looking good, I paid for it, and when it came time to pick up the car, the buddies suddenly couldn't come. But I learned the manual gear, bought the automatic gear, and for more than a year has not wiped the car, pure white one, how to drive home This is a problem. Fortunately, the sales are more serious and responsible, when delivering the car, he introduced the general situation of the car in detail, how to hang the gear, how to start, how to park, how to shift gears, how to drive the near light, high beam and so on. Finally he sat in the co-pilot and walked around with me. On the drive home, the more I thought about it, the more wrong it became. I spent more than half a year in driving school, paid thousands of oceans, took the exam four times, and did not dare to go on the road... As a result, I went to the sales consultant and got it done in half an hour!

9． I have a lot of addiction to smoking, and I always come after eating every day. After eating last night, the lighter in my pocket broke down. It was cold and lazy to go out to buy, looking for something that did not find a cigarette for half a day, and sat on the sofa and watched TV depressedly. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my toes, and I looked down to see my son holding a red-hot chopstick in his hand, smiling triumphantly at me. Without waiting for me to speak, my son said first: I just want to tell you that I can burn chopsticks in the kitchen, and I can't light a cigarette?

10． My cousin became a store manager in Haidilao, with a monthly salary of up to 680,000 yuan. The daily work is particularly easy, causing her to run more and more, and recently planned to lose weight, running every night and night. Today she told me that running on that avenue at night was too dangerous. I advised: If you are afraid of encountering bad people, then don't go. Cousin: No, there are a lot of barbecue stalls over there, every night when I run back, I go to order a lot of barbecue to eat, not only did I not lose weight, but I also gained 10 pounds. #Funny Scene of the Year ##搞笑一刻 #