1, the wife is not at home, the sister-in-law suddenly came, she quietly asked me: brother-in-law, you tell me the truth, where is the private money hidden? I said, "How dare I hide my money?" Sister-in-law: Sister, come out

1, the wife is not at home, the sister-in-law suddenly came, she quietly asked me: brother-in-law, you tell me the truth, where is the private money hidden? I said, "How dare I hide my money?" Sister-in-law: Sister, come out, the wife actually came out from behind the curtains, smiled and said: I went to buy vegetables and made food for you. Sister-in-law: Sister went downstairs, this time you should tell the truth, where is the private money hidden? Me: I really didn't hide any money. The sister-in-law took out her mobile phone and said: Sister, I heard it, the brother-in-law really has no private money. Then she turned off her mobile phone, smiled strangely and said: Old Nine, how much private money have you hidden? I was about to cry: I hadn't hidden a penny since your sister had searched for my private money. The sister-in-law said to the flowerpot: Sister, this time you should be relieved. My goodie, the flowerpot has a camera hidden in it? Are there so many routines now? The sister-in-law said: My task is complete, I should go. She walked to the door and smiled at me, and I turned 200 yuan to her with great interest, praising her for acting well, thank you very much. The sister-in-law went downstairs, the wife waited for her downstairs, in order to express her gratitude, she gave the sister-in-law 200 yuan...?

2. On this day, I drove the Maybach to the Sinopec gas station to refuel. I said to the clerk, "92 full!" A few minutes later, the clerk said to me, "Hello, 352 in all." The girlfriend sitting in the co-pilot said: "Handsome man, wipe a zero, 350 line is not OK?" Me: "Don't be ashamed, you think you buy vegetables in the market, and bargain!" Girlfriend: "Don't ask how do you know if it works?" Me: "Don't ask, the gas station can bargain for me to drink this tank of oil today!" Clerk: "Okay, then charge 350!" ”

3. The sister-in-law prayerfully knelt in front of the statue of the bodhisattva and prayed that she would be pregnant with her husband's child as soon as possible. Then he knelt down in front of the bodhisattva and shook his hand in his arms. Suddenly, a stick flew out and hit a bald head directly! She looked at the sister-in-law with a grudge, and the sister-in-law was a little frightened, so she pulled my arm. I heard the bald donkey say, "Female benefactor, if you have a husband, don't flirt with the poor monk, okay?" ”?

4, at night overtime until 10 o'clock, my stomach is very hungry, into a pig's trotter shop. The waiter enthusiastically asked: Beauty, what do you eat? I said: Come 20 pig trotters, four pairs of dishes and chopsticks, and in a moment 3 friends will come over. When I checked out, I covered my round belly and complained to the boss: My friend let me pigeons come over, and I ate all the food.??

5. A few days ago, the president shouted that the company's senior management held an urgent meeting. The president proposed a special and innovative plan! He thought that it was a bit too uncreative to send rice dumplings to employees during the Dragon Boat Festival, so he canceled the Dragon Boat Festival and changed it to June 1st, and everyone agreed. In the blink of an eye, June 1 arrived, and the Children's Day gifts issued by the company to employees were: Zongzi.?

6. Today I went to a friend's house as a guest, his son was in the second grade, and then his friend went out to get a courier. His son took out his summer homework and asked me questions. I looked at the question and said to my friend's son, "Help me pour a glass of water." Then I quickly went online, but I didn't find it, and now the math problem is terrible! Then he turned and left his friend's house.

7. I caught it in the woods and suddenly saw a suspicious place. The turf was slightly drummed, the soil was relatively new, and after a few moments of curiosity, I actually dug out a bag of money sealed in a plastic bag. When I saw that there were more than 50 yuan, I thought I was lucky, so I continued to look for three such places and dug up money. Finally, I did the math, and it was a total of 268 yuan. Because it was dark and there were many mosquitoes, they went home. Early this morning, I went to the garden to look for treasure, and unfortunately, I dug several pits in a row, which were full of dog excrement.

8. The SF Express brother sent raisins sent from his roommate's parents from his hometown to the dormitory. The roommate happened to be absent, we stole it, and finally a dozen people ate the raisins. We looked at each other and did nothing, destroying the bags and the notes. It took 5 minutes for my roommate to ask doubtfully, "Why hasn't the raisins my mother brought me arrived yet?" ”

9, recently the weather is somewhat dry, lips are easy to dry and cracked, so I spent 9.9 on Pinduoduo to buy a lip balm. As a result, I wanted to use it this morning and found that it was missing last night that I put on the pillow. At this time, I saw my roommate come out of the toilet and hurriedly asked him: Did you see what I put next to the pillow? The goods said leisurely: Last night let me eat, lychee flavored fudge is not bad, alas, is too sticky teeth!

10, my husband recently came out early and returned late and sneaky, I thought in my heart there must be a ghost. After eating today, my husband went out with something again. I hurried to open the door to look, only to find him stealing roast duck in the hallway. I looked aggrieved, and the tears almost fell. Husband hurriedly explained: Haven't you been losing weight lately? I am afraid of affecting you, afraid of becoming a stumbling block on your way to weight loss.

11. Since she became pregnant, my wife has been extremely sensitive to the smell of smoke. Early this morning, I squatted down the toilet at home, ready to secretly smoke a cigarette. But I just took two sips, and then I heard the door open, and I was so frightened that I quickly threw the cigarette down the toilet and flushed it. Then open the window and blow and fan, and then pretend to calmly walk out of the bathroom. After a while, the wife came out of the bathroom and said, "You have smoked a little too much lately, and even the stool smells of smoke." ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #