1, the sister-in-law newly married Yan'er, and the little uncle did not go out of the room for nearly a week after marriage, the mother-in-law did not understand, knocking on the door was not much care, angry kicked open the door, went in to find the desktop left a sheet

1, the sister-in-law newly married Yan'er, and the little uncle did not go out of the room for nearly a week after marriage, the mother-in-law did not understand, knocking on the door is not big, angry kick open the door, go in and find that the desktop left a sticky note: the two have been catching a flight to the Maldives the night before.

2. My brother plans to raise a fish and take me to the aquarium to see it. Just entered the store, the boss enthusiastically introduced: sir, hello, our store recently arrived a batch of fish with special skills, as long as 1988, are you interested in looking at it? The brother laughed and said: "I will have special skills, I would like to see." The owner took us to the front of a fish tank, and when we looked, the fish in it were all turned over and died. The brother was astonished: "Oh, your fish are dead." The boss smiled slightly: This is your mistake, this is their special skill - backstroke!

3, I am a nurse, these days boyfriend to find a breakup, I wash my face with tears every day, I asked the leader for a week's leave, I overeat every day, a week I weighed 10 pounds, my vacation ended, dragging the fat body to the hospital to work. Infusion in the ward, a grandfather smiled and looked at me and said I was about to retire, right? I was embarrassed and said, "Say what, I'm only 20 years old this year, and I'm young!" The family next to him said: "It is impossible, that year I still saw you pregnant with a baby, no matter how young you are, you have 30s." "I went, that's fat okay, I really want to pull the needle out for him and prick it again!"

4. After graduating from college, I worked in a foreign company, and I got along with our beautiful female boss for a few days, and it wasn't long before we both got married. On the second day of the new marriage, my wife went on a business trip for half a month. After returning home today, my wife directly lay down on the bed and said, "Alas, this time can exhaust me!" I didn't even have a glass of water when I got home! I saw the situation and immediately took a cup of white water to send it, and my wife gave me a blank look: "Even if you know each other, I am so tired, is it not all for your family?" I smiled and hugged my wife: "Wife, you have to do a good job!" Whether I can drive a Porsche next year depends on you! ”

5, two days ago on the Internet saw a farm yard, look at the environment is not bad, so decided to go there for two days. The boss said: Chickens and ducks are free-range, vegetables and fruits are grown in the garden, and even tofu is ground by themselves. Looking at the surrounding bamboo forest, the mountain spring is babbling, and the breath is moist and sweet. Stayed for three days, when I left, the boss said: Go back and don't tell people that my family's food is delicious, I am too tired when there are more people, living in this mountain, money is not very important to me.?

6, dinner, the mother made a table of hearty meals, while eating and male colleagues nagging homely, who knows that male colleagues can speak the tao, coax the mother is very happy. The old mother said on the spot: Tonight you will stay here for the night, and now I will think that you are my son-in-law. "I saw that something was wrong, so I hinted at my male colleagues on the side: today is just to deal with the formalities, and we must not agree." But the male colleague ignored me. Still chatting with my mother was fierce, and as a result, after dinner, I became the extra person at the dinner table. I'm too hard.?

7. The mother-in-law is a Chinese teacher in Maotanchang Middle School, with a monthly salary of 80,000 yuan. Today, my mother-in-law's mood is better, and she took a particularly vivid lesson. After class, the mother-in-law sat in the office bored and brushed the circle of friends. After a while, the mother-in-law's face became particularly ugly. Because she saw a circle of students writing: "The bell rings and I see sleeping pills coming in." ”

8. On Valentine's Day, the daughter-in-law: "Honey! In fact, people like big dolls the most! At the time of Tanabata, the daughter-in-law: "Dear! In fact, people like French perfume the most! On her birthday, the daughter-in-law: "Dear! In fact, people think that diamonds represent eternity! At Christmas, the daughter-in-law: "Dear! I said, "Wait a minute! Daughter-in-law, do you like anything cheap? Daughter-in-law: "Yes!" People actually like you the most! ”

9. Last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, and my wife, who had just got my driver's license, actually drove my Maiten back to her mother's house. I told my wife to be sure to be safe when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent mobile phone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how about airbags? Come on, and what's that insurance company phone you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

10. When I went to the mall, I bought a little ribs. When I got home, I asked my daughter-in-law to cook, and then I ran to the couch to watch "Celebrating the Rest of the Year.". My daughter-in-law also wanted to watch it together, and I said, "Two people watching waste money, you cook the ribs, and when I finish watching it, I will share the storyline with you while eating." "After I watched two episodes, I found that the ribs had not yet been served. I ran to the kitchen and asked my daughter-in-law, "What about ribs?" The daughter-in-law said calmly: "I ate the ribs, come, sit down and I will tell you about the taste of the ribs." ”

11. The first time I spent the night at my fiancée's house, I thought I could sleep with my daughter-in-law and children, and everything was ready. The hateful old man actually cleaned up a single room for me, and what was even more hateful was that he also chained his big wolf dog outside the door. He also said sternly: "At night, the movement of the thief can be heard clearly." "I...

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