1, Xiao Qiang slept until the middle of the night, found his daughter-in-law holding his hand and pressed it around, at first he thought what to do, but later found that he was unlocking the phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, and smiled darkly

1, Xiao Qiang slept until midnight, found the daughter-in-law holding his hand and pressed it around, at first I thought what to do, but later found that it was unlocking the mobile phone, he opened a gap in the corner of his eye, secretly sneered, not afraid of the daughter-in-law to unlock, afraid that she would not understand it. After the daughter-in-law opened Xiao Qiang's mobile phone, it popped up to do tomorrow's things, tomorrow, I want to love my wife well. I want to make good money, give my wife flowers... Xiao Qiang's daughter-in-law looked at it and cried, silently put down her mobile phone, covered the quilt for Xiao Qiang, and made him food in the middle of the night. Xiao Qiang felt a little guilty, so he got up to help, and as a result, her daughter-in-law was immediately angry: "You said that a big man went around the stove, went back to sleep, and let the woman do the cooking!" Roll..." Xiao Qiang heard the words, and went back to sleep. In the morning, the kitchen was clean, Xiao Qiang asked his daughter-in-law about the meal, and his daughter-in-law said that after cooking to see your sleeping incense, she couldn't bear to eat it all.

2, I grew a wisdom tooth, and I hurt si. No way, I went to the dental office and decided to pull this sick tooth out. Cover your cheeks and grunt and go to the nearby dental clinic. When the dentist's big brother examined, I cried out loud in pain. The eldest brother wiped the sweat from his head and said to me: You wait, I went out and called a few neighbors to come over, your sister-in-law is not at home, I am afraid of misunderstanding.

3, in Starbucks and a flight attendant blind date, we are chatting with a security guard came over and asked: Is the car at the door yours? I thought to myself that I hadn't driven the car, so I said: It shouldn't be mine, I don't seem to be parked at the door. You go and see what the car is, and if it's Maserati it's mine. After a few moments, the security guard came back and said: Sir, it is really a Maserati, please move it! So I went home, and starbucks money was gone...

4, the old class can not listen to it. There is a buddy in high school who loves to sing, and after the evening self-study, the buddies always like to sing in the student dormitory. Not to mention how the song is, the buddy is born with a male duck voice, and the world is crying!? But I'm proud of it!? Today I sang a song in the window again, and unconsciously, the teaching director checked the bedroom to this point!? The director stood outside the door and said, "You see that this is all entangled, and you don't know how to adjust it!?"

5, I drove a BMW with my wife and children back to my hometown for the New Year, the next door fa xiao also came back with a girlfriend, the hair is small and ugly, but the woman who is looking for it is OK. On such a cold day, Fa Xiaotian hangs out on the street with his girlfriend. I asked him: What do you do every day, isn't it cold? He said: Cold! That's also hanging out, it's hard to find a girlfriend, and you still can't show it? Later, this woman ran away with a handsome man in the village!

6. My wife has recently eaten a lot of sea plugs, and her weight has increased a lot. A few days ago, she bought a scale from Jingdong, and after arriving, her wife would often stand up with the teddy at home to weigh it. Today, after she finished weighing the dog, she exclaimed, "Skinny! I actually got thinner on a business trip! I looked helpless: "It's not that you're thin, it's the dog that's thin, you've been on a business trip for a few days, I've eaten instant noodles myself, and I don't have anything to feed it." ”

7. When the old man fell in love with his mother-in-law, he took his mother-in-law home for the first time. Because the old man rarely came home for many years, his parents let the old man's brother take the mother-in-law and the two of them out for a walk. This embarrassment along the way, the mother-in-law and the mother-in-law and the two of them kissed each other from time to time and put their arms around their waists, and they saw that his brother had long needle eyes. Later, my brother said to both of them, "Don't you two feel embarrassed to take such a big light bulb as me?" Only to hear the two of them say, "In the eyes of both of us, there has never been anyone else, and even if there is, it is a cat and a dog!" ”

8, I said to my boyfriend, "Go to your house for dinner, your mother's cooking is delicious, especially braised pork." The boyfriend immediately called his mother: "Mom, I'll come home for dinner later." I heard my boyfriend's mother say, "Your brother and sister-in-law are here, don't bring your girlfriend over today, I'm afraid she'll grab meat with my grandson again!" "It seems I'm having a little difficulty in marrying my boyfriend.

9. I was a sophomore at Jilin University, and yesterday I went to fetch water with my roommates. On the way back to the dormitory, he heard his kettle grunting because the lid was not covered. He also heard it and asked me, "What sound??" I said, "It's the sound of your pot warmer." He picked up the pot and listened carefully to his ear, and immediately threw the pot out, and then he heard the explosion of the pot. My roommate turned to me and said, "Luckily I threw it fast!" ”

10. The little monk won the first place in the competition, and the old abbot took the little monk to the zoo to play. The little monk saw the peacock opening screen in the zoo, and it felt very strange. The next day, he began to force the reed rooster in the temple to open the screen and chase the chicken all over the yard. In the end, the little monk was very skilled, and finally grabbed it in the chicken nest, and then forced the tail of the chicken to be opened. As a result, the chicken feathers were made into a whole field, and finally a feather was left on the rooster's tail. The little monk put the chicken away, and when the abbot saw it, he asked him why. The little monk said something very level: "Forget it, iron rooster, not a dime." ”

11. On Monday, the local tycoon boss recruited employees for a meeting, and suddenly the boss's husky slowly entered the conference room. The local tycoon boss blasted the dog out, and after a while the dog came again, and the local tycoon boss did not rush. See what the dog wants to do, walk around and sniff, walk to a male colleague in the second row. The male colleague jumped to the side in fright, and the cargo stretched out its claws to plane in the table hole and turned out a chicken leg. Then I grabbed the chicken leg and walked slowly...

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