1. When driving back to his hometown to visit the grave during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I did

1. When driving back to his hometown to visit the grave during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I said that the money had already been lost to you, so I would take it away. The farmer said indignantly: No! I wondered: the money has already been given to you, why don't you let me take it? Farmer: So if I drive your wife to death, can I take her away after I lose the money?

2. Every time Fang Zhan goes down the mountain, he will have the habit of buying color drifting, and he will spend ten yuan to buy the same number every time. Kung Fu paid off, he finally planted ten million, immediately turned over and bought a house that would appreciate. Fang Zhan married his wife and lived a good life, and his wife said to him: Put your remaining ten million into the change pass, you can have 1,000 yuan a day! Fang Zhan thought about it and put it in, and a year later he found that the front was gone. It turned out that the wife used all the money in it to buy bags...

3, the daughter is getting bigger and bigger to see more and more people and understand more and more. After eating last night, she began to scream: "You are such a good actor!" Dad's relatives praised Mom, and Mom's relatives praised Dad, as if Dorn loved. Seeing that we didn't talk, he said, "I just want to ask, when there are no guests at home, why do you both ask me to wash the dishes?" ”

4, overtime at night until very late to go home, tired half-life, back home to see the husband is playing a game brush shadowless sword. I asked him: If someone gave you 2 million and told you to leave me, would you be willing? Husband: No 2.01 million, I don't think it's okay! Me: Why 2.01 million? Husband: You see, necklace bracelet diamond rings, and cosmetics... These lines must be at least 2 million, right? Plus you, not 110,000? Me: Am I worth 10,000 yuan in your heart?

5. As a senior engineer in Chery Company, the female boss is very burly because she has been practicing Sanda since she was a child, and her personality is particularly female. Today at work, I saw for the first time that she actually wore a short skirt. A male colleague teased her: "You are such a big grinning person wearing a skirt, are you not afraid of insecurity?" The landlady swept up to him with a kick of the wind, and he closed his eyes in fright. Just listen to the female boss say viciously: "You say that Ann is not safe!" ”

6. This evening, the dog came home from school and saw his mother eating oranges. Mom asked him: How many oranges are there? Dog Leftover: I don't know. Mom: How many bananas are there? Dog leftovers: 5. Mom: What about oranges? Dog Leftover: I don't know. Mom: Why do you understand bananas and oranges? Dog Leftover: Because the teacher only taught bananas.

7. In the early morning, I opened my eyes and sat up, looked around, and was speechless. Fingers brushed the messy hair, forty-five corners looked up at the pale ceiling, watching the loneliness spread. Somewhere in the back of my heart, I stepped barefoot on the cold floor, tiptoeing like a dancing ghost, one step, two steps. Quietly cooked a bowl of noodles and two poached eggs to ease the temptation to the delicious food of the dream.

8. After graduation, he drove a car for the rich in a listed company, with an annual salary of 2 million. Yesterday I drove a Rolls Royce to pick up the rich man, saw a man across the road confessing, and then was rejected by the woman. The woman said, "We are not suitable, not because you are poor, you are good, thank you for being so good to me." At this time, a Porsche drove over, and down came a lewd uncle in his 50s, who was about to leave with his arms around the woman. Instantly I got angry, got in the car, lit the fire, turned around, got out of the car, and opened the door. He said to the man, "Young master, your father told you to go to the company for a meeting, let's go!" Then I got him into the car despite the boy's surprised expression.

9. When I was in high school, there was a naughty jewel in the class who went out to the Internet during the exam and found someone to take the exam for him. After sending out the test paper, the person subconsciously wrote his last name, realized that it was wrong and changed it. At this time, I was seen by the invigilator and said: You can still remember your name wrong! The man was in a hurry: My parents, divorced... The teacher was silent and did not speak, turned his head and left.

10, at night after work to take the bus home, suddenly a sharp brake, I accidentally fell into the arms of a man, lips touched... The breath was momentarily embarrassed, and the man whispered, "Fragrant..." I said in surprise, "What are you talking about?" The man smiled and said, "I said your lipstick is so fragrant..." I calmly took out two lipsticks from my bag and said, "One 30, two count you 50..."

11. The brother asked the goddess: How much is your living expenses for a month? Goddess: An average of 800 pieces a month. Then the brother paid 1600 to the goddess every month, and the goddess was touched to be with him! After the brother-in-law knew, he followed the imitation of the goddess who chased after himself! Brother-in-law: How much do you live on for a month? He Goddess: 5000, what's going on? Brother-in-law: I'll just ask, is it all right!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #