Today I helped the female boss complete a personal matter, the female boss said thank you for inviting me to dinner, asked where I want to eat? I said: Just go to your house and eat, don't break the bank. The female boss replied: Yes, but even if you go to the house to make it, you have to prepare a big meal and ask me what I like to eat? I said there is meat on the line, and now that the price of meat has risen, I haven't smelled meat for a month. I almost forgot what the meat tasted like. The female boss said and nodded. However, when I went to the female boss's house, the female boss actually prepared a meal of leek dumplings for me. I was really angry, said that there was no good meat at all, ate two dumplings and left, such a boss is also too stingy, really not worth the effort for her. Do you think that's right?
2. I remember that when I was studying late in the year, there was a sudden power outage, and it was very interesting to be dark. After waiting for half a day, I didn't come, and finally the school had to announce the end of school. The students giggled and went downstairs, and were happy. Looking back, I saw that the lights on the teaching building were bright, and someone in the crowd made a scream: Mom, run, the electricity is coming! I went, and everyone, turned into sprint champions, rushed out of the school gates. That momentum is like fighting in ancient times!
3. He was expelled from the university for misconduct and had to go to another city to work as a kindergarten teacher. Today is my brother's day of class, and a little friend raised his hand while lecturing. I motioned for him to stand up, and the child asked me: Teacher, why do birds fly? I replied: Because it has wings! The child asked: The balloon has no wings, why does it fly? Me: Because it's lighter than air! The children then asked: That plane is heavier than air, why does it fly? I:......
4. Once I sent my eldest nephew to kindergarten, I saw my eldest nephew's beautiful teacher at the entrance of the kindergarten. I quickly pulled my nephew to stop. Pretending to be serious, he asked: Uncle tested you. Can you recite the teacher's mobile phone number at the door? The nephew quickly ran to the teacher and said: Teacher, just now my uncle wanted your mobile phone number, I did not tell him! I:......
5. My wife has recently become obsessed with group chats, and I built a group two days ago to pull me in. The group was full of her mother's family, and I rarely spoke in the group. Early this morning, the sister-in-law was in the family group and said, "I am ready to get married on the first of October." I asked, "Haven't you been talking for a long time?" How did you get married so quickly? Sister-in-law: "Brother-in-law, what do you mean when you don't want to get married so quickly?" "I just wanted to explain, don't be deceived, before the words can be typed, I was kicked out of the group by my wife."
6. My boyfriend eventually failed me and proposed to me to break up, we have been dating for seven years, and the relationship has been very good! I couldn't hold back tears and asked him, "Why break up?" The boyfriend said: "I work overtime every day until midnight to take the bus, just to save money to marry you!" Me: "Yeah, have you changed your mind now?" Boyfriend: "Seven years ago, your mother said that the dowry money is calculated according to your weight, 2,000 yuan a pound, and at that time your weight was 90 pounds, adding up to 180,000 yuan." I'll work hard for a few years, find some money from my family, and I'll be able to marry you soon! But I was wrong, I can't save money fast enough to keep up with the speed of your long flesh, you are now 172 pounds! ”
7. Xiaoming and Xiao Gang, Xiaomei, and Xiao Bai went on an adventure in the primeval forest of Africa, and just after entering the primeval forest, they were caught by the cannibals, and several of them did not want to die, so they kept interceding. Patriarch of the Cannibals: Since you don't want to die, I'll give you a chance, and whoever of you amuses me, I'll let you go. Xiaoming first said a joke, halfway through the joke, everyone did not laugh, he laughed for half an hour. Patriarch: You go! Xiaoming Daxi: Do you think the joke I said is funny? The patriarch shook his head and said: We never eat sick people, especially neuropathy.
8. Today's salary boss also praised me for my recent good performance and rewarded me with a thousand dollars. My wife treated me to make braised pork that I liked, it was so delicious. I have eaten a lot, my son also ate two pieces, accidentally my son dropped a piece on the ground, I asked my son not to, throw it in the trash can, my wife was angry and angry: I did so hard, how did I throw it like this?? I can still eat it when I pick it up and rinse it with hot water, and then my wife picks up the meat and rinses it with hot water and puts it in my bowl, which is really touching.
#Funny# #搞笑段子 #
![A patient with sciatica used a tonic formula to help him get rid of his troubles Remember one day, a patient with sciatica came to me, and he came to me with a limp. He sighed[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)