1. When driving back to his hometown to visit the grave during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I did

1. When driving back to his hometown to visit the grave during the Qingming Festival, he accidentally killed a sheep. The farmer asked me to compensate him for 3,000 yuan, and I knew that I had lost money and handed him the money. He took the money, and I said that the money had already been lost to you, so I would take it away. The farmer said indignantly: No! I wondered: the money has already been given to you, why don't you let me take it? Farmer: So if I drive your wife to death, can I take her away after I lose the money?

2. After the divorce, the husband was introduced to a 23-year-old girl. It didn't take long for the old man to marry his sister. Later, the old man accidentally had a car accident, and he clutched his sister's hand tightly when he was dying. Say with all your strength: You must remarry in the future, and I will definitely let others taste the strength of the losers. The girl said sadly: I will live well, rest assured, I have found it. The old man closed his eyes without regret.

3, Zhou Wei, and his girlfriend walked hand in hand by the river. Suddenly, she stopped, raised her head slightly, her eyes closed, and the corners of her nose twitched slightly. I looked at it: this is the rhythm of kissing! I looked at her red lips, muttered, slowly approaching, approaching... Suddenly, my girlfriend "sneezed" and sprayed my face with saliva...

4. Before getting married, I was very fond of eating all kinds of snacks, and I prepared a lot at home. When my wife came to my house, I said it was prepared for her, and she accepted it beautifully. After marriage and children, I can finally eat with confidence and boldness. After all, it can be said that it was bought for the baby, the baby does not eat, only I eat. I bought a bunch of little cookies, chips, spicy strips, mangoes, grapes, cream cakes to go home. The wife asked: How to buy so much? I said wittily: Buy it for the baby. My wife threw a packet of spicy strips in my face: only two teeth, you feed him spicy strips?

5, the wife got off the morning shift yesterday, went home to help the child write homework, and went to wash her head after writing the homework. When washing her hair, the wife accidentally poured water into her ears and eyes, which was very uncomfortable, and after washing her head, the wife tilted her head and fell down. When the son saw it, he said to help his wife take a cotton swab to dry it. This little bunny cub said while dipping: Mom, your ears are easy to get into the water, but if your brain is in the water, I can't do it!

6, that was the first time to go to my girlfriend's house for dinner, my uncle was very good. We had a great chat and had a few drinks over dinner. After three rounds of drinking, he took a stack of money from his pocket and said to me: Boy, this is a thousand dollars, leave my daughter! I rubbed my eyes, making sure it was really a thousand pieces and then pushed it back: Uncle, don't say it's a thousand pieces, even if it is doubled, I will not leave your daughter! The uncle quickly shoved the money into his pocket and muttered discontentedly: Two thousand? Crazy, I only sold two thousand pigs...?

7. My son in high school has always been among the best in his grades, and he loves to play with the computer in his spare time. But recently his grades have slipped a bit, his wife is on the side of education, and his son stares at the computer without a word. Suddenly he saw that the video he made was reprinted more than 10,000 times, and he was very excited and said to his mother: Mom, don't say it, I want to be on fire! The wife slapped the past: it is against you!??

8. After graduation, I entered Amazon as a programmer, because I often stayed up late and had very few hairs. Usually after work, I used to eat a late-night snack in a small shop. Yesterday I went a little late and the owner packed up and prepared to close the door, but he still made me a fried rice noodle. I looked at my phone at three o'clock in the morning and sighed, "We are all the same toil." "After checking out, I leisurely rode home in the battery car. At this time, the shop owner drove past me, waved at me, and the song was played in the car: "We are not the same, we are not the same..."

9. The sister-in-law goes to the fraternity party, and the host is introducing a handsome man with an aristocratic temperament. The host asked, "Where do you live after marriage?" Do you have a room? The man replied, "Live with grandma, dad, and stepmother." "By this time two-thirds of the women had their backs turned! Host: "Where is your dad?" The man replied, "My dad has no unit." At this time, only the sister-in-law was left alone and did not move! Host: "Is there a BMW?" The man replied, "Does the carriage count?" The sister-in-law immediately turned around after hearing this. Moderator concluded: "What is your profession?" The man replied in shame: "My profession is a prince..."

10. Long Feng's sister was weak since she was a child, and her parents let her learn to play, and three or five big men could not enter her body. After a year of marriage, my brother was always beaten by her husband and went back to her mother's house to cry. The brother-in-law is an ordinary person, and he still shouts all day long: Didn't you learn martial arts? I specialize in martial arts training. I asked my sister what about the martial arts you learned? She said she forgot at the time. Now after the sister gave birth to the child, it was reversed, and the brother-in-law was beaten up a miserable ah!

11. Some time ago, the rich man attended a lecture. The host stood on the podium and said enthusiastically: The lazier the parents, the more diligent the children! The rich man listened thoughtfully and decided to try his son! On Sundays, the rich man sat leisurely on the sofa drinking water, and his son did not know where to pick up a sock. After saying this, the son threw the prayer to the rich man, saying that it happened to be on the water cup, and half of the socks had been soaked in the water, and the rich man couldn't bear to "snap" a tea table: "You... You..." Son: "What am I?" "You..." The rich man reached out to catch his socks and smiled: "You see, it's really a noble person who forgets things, you must have forgotten that I never drank tea bags..."

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