1. Chairman, someone came to apply. "Okay, tell him to come in and I'll interview him personally." Chairman: What position are you applying for? Me: Vice President. CHAIRMAN: Okay, I like to have it

1. Chairman, someone came to apply. "Okay, tell him to come in and I'll interview him personally." Chairman: What position are you applying for? Me: Vice President. Chairman: Well, I like aspiring young people, so what is your expectation of salary? Me: Ten thousand. Chairman: Is it a little low, and then give you a little increase? Me: I'm talking about ten thousand a day. Chairman: Very good, I appreciate your spirit of daring to fight for your dreams. So when do you come to work? Me: Look at the mood. Chairman: Very good, can reasonably plan their own time to set the course of life This is a manifestation of ability, our group needs talents like you. Me: Dad, I'll leave if there's nothing to do.

2. The daughter and the son quarreled, accidentally pushed the son to a fall, the son was angry and ignored her, the daughter coaxed him, promised to let him beat up, the son got up, he was going to come to fight, the daughter was busy shouting: "Wait, you can't punch your face, you can't hit your head, you can't hit your stomach, you can't beat your hands, you can't spanking, you can't spanking!" The son was confused and asked, "Then where do I fight?" The daughter took off her coat, put it on the couch, and said, "Go and beat that dress!" ”

3. Have a friend, find a girlfriend, gentle and beautiful. When the friend got married, his daughter-in-law brought a small bottle, saying that in the days to come, every time her husband provoked her to cry, she would drop a drop of water into the bottle, and when the bottle was full, her heart would die, and she would leave him without hesitation. Three years passed, and the other day my friend couldn't stand it anymore and secretly poured two large spoonfuls of water into the bottle. As a result, he was discovered by his daughter-in-law and beaten up again.

4. The daughter-in-law has a twin sister, and the two look almost exactly the same. That time, the daughter-in-law held her little nephew who was two months old. She complained to me, "Everyone else says twins are good, I don't think so!" I added, "How nice are the twins!" From a young age, you are not alone, you can go to work for each other, go to school, how envious! The wife put the little nephew aside: "Yes! And my second sister can figure it out, she went on vacation and let me lie to his child at home when he was his mother! ”"

5. Sleeping with my boyfriend in the dormitory until the third pole of the day, the door suddenly rang. Neither of us opened the door, and then the phone rang again. I didn't expect it to be my mother's phone, I was drowsy and suddenly lost, and quickly let my boyfriend hide. After answering the phone, I heard my mother say, "Deadpool, open the door quickly, my hands are almost swollen!" I hurriedly said, "Well, I'm not at home now, will you send it in two hours?" Mother: "Don't lie to people, your voice is obviously lazy and you don't want to remember!" Me: "..."?

6. The boss's Qianjin looks particularly beautiful, and after graduating from Tongji, he came to work in the company. Later, Qianjin became pregnant, and the boss was very angry and asked: Whose child is it? Qianjin did not dare to say it directly, so he replied: It is our company... The boss was furious, and the next morning more than 90 people in the company resigned, and I also prepared the resignation application with trepidation. The boss looked at me and said: Xiao Wu, you don't have to resign. I was so happy, I couldn't imagine that the boss trusted himself so much! As a result, the boss went on to say: You are the ugliest in the whole company, and my daughter will not look at you if she is blind! Qianjin cried and said, "Dad, I'm really blind!?

7. 1. 6.5 billion yuan of inheritance, all inherited by the mother-in-law. In order to get this money, I ran to my mother-in-law's house all day and took good care of her. Two days ago, the mother-in-law said that her athlete's foot was foul, itchy and painful, and it was very uncomfortable. After I knew, I immediately went to the pharmacy to get medicine, and the clerk instructed me that the skin of my feet would fall off in a large area, which was a normal phenomenon and not to be afraid. After soaking the mother-in-law for two days, the two soles of the feet really began to peel off, tearing off a large piece of it, and the calluses for many years were taken off, and the new skin was pink and tender. The mother-in-law said excitedly: Son-in-law, do you think I should take this medicine to wash my face and improve the skin on my face?

8. As the only boy in the health school, once in physical education class, the sun was too big, causing heat stroke to fall to the ground, and the girls in the class saw me running to me to treat me. At this time, some students said: Let's stop arguing, line up. Everyone began to line up in an orderly manner, and after the first female classmate kissed me on the mouth, she was pulled away by the second female classmate and said: This method is wrong, I will show you.?

9. In the evening Dad went out to socialize and came back drunk. When I came back, I was forced to give me 100 yuan and said it was my pocket money. As a result, in the middle of the night, Dad woke up thirsty and went to the living room to drink water. Passing by my bedroom and seeing that I had 100 bucks at the head of my bed, he beat me up hard. I looked at my father with grievance, and my father said in a puzzled tone: I am not a little bold, I dare to steal 100 yuan from the family. Said put away 100 yuan and went back to sleep.

10. The father-in-law is the principal of the aristocratic kindergarten, and after retiring from boredom at home, he gave birth to a second child with his mother-in-law. After becoming pregnant, the mother-in-law became particularly squeamish, did not sleep at night, and had to pestered her father-in-law to tell her stories: "Husband and husband, tell me stories!" The father-in-law said impatiently: "Don't make trouble, most of the night will not let people sleep!" The mother-in-law said sternly, "Just talk about one!" So the father-in-law began to say, "Well, once upon a time there was an ugly duckling who looked very ugly... However, later people found that Xiaoming had a special love for magic since he was a child, but his family was strongly opposed, always thinking that being a magician could not earn money.

11. Fang Zhan drove the Maybach S450 to RT-Mart shopping, and after buying it, he found that the Maybach S450 was gone. Brother one reaction is finished, the car was stolen? So Fang Zhan angrily went to the manager of the mall and wanted an explanation. The manager found the security guard, called up the monitoring to take a look, and Fang Zhan was dumbfounded. The two exits of the mall, Fang Zhan's car parked at the east gate, but came out of the west gate, and now the car is still parked at the east gate!

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