1. A woman went to the bank counter to withdraw 700 yuan and was ridiculed by bank employees. In desperation, the woman said to the bank staff, then help me withdraw 3 million. The staff took the savings card and saw that the balance in the card was suddenly not calm, and the woman's card had more than ten million deposits. Subsequently, the attitude of the staff changed greatly, the title changed, and respectfully gave the woman 3 million. After the woman took out 700 yuan, she deposited the remaining money into the card. The staff did not dare to say anything, they could only do it, this is a VIP, ah, can not afford to offend.
2. Female: Where do you live after marriage? Do you have a room? A: I live with my grandmother, my father, and my stepmother. 10 lights went out. F: What do you do? Where are you in? A: I'm a soldier, and my dad doesn't have a unit. 8 lights off. F: Is there a BMW? A: Does a carriage count? The lights are all off. Host: Where are you from and what's your name? The boy replied ashamedly: Britain, others call me Prince William... Full-time: ...?
3. The boss informed me today that the company was about to open up a market in the south, and I was sent to be the regional manager. I chose a small town at the foot of the mountain as a place to stay, the mountain air is good, and along the creek, I found a mountain spring. I dialed my wife's cell phone and said, "Honey, I'm in the mountains, listen, the sound of the spring." "I moved my phone closer to the mountain spring. After a while, I asked, "Wife, is it good?" The wife snorted and replied, "I know you too well, you're not so romantic, turn off the faucet!" ” ?
4. Some time ago, when driving my hometown, I was stuck on the highway. For two or three hours, I was motionless, and I wanted to go to the toilet, but there were cars all around, and the service area was still far away. Suddenly I remembered that there was a piece of water in the back, so I got out of the car and took a bottle of water and drank it. Then I went back to the car and took advantage of the bottle. After a while, I was in a hurry, and I went to get a bottle of water to drink......... After repeating this many times, the car window next to me rolled down, and the eldest brother gave me a thumbs up and said: Brother good kidney, see you drink I am anxious to urinate!!! I went, the window didn't roll.........
5. When studying at a medical university, my roommate often skips class to play games in an Internet café. Because we have a better relationship, I often help him get orders. In today's class, I saw that he was absent from class again, and I didn't see him in the classroom. So I sent him a message after class: when the teacher is in class, you answer the questions, I help you answer, and invite me to dinner in the evening. After a while, the voice of the buddy came from behind: Did you lie to me like this before for dinner?
6. In the evening, my mother took my brother and me out to buy vegetables. When we got home we bought a whole bunch of stuff, my brother and I both took some of it. Mom said: Xiao Xin, why did you let your brother take more than you did. I said: I did this exactly what you said. Mom said: When did I say that? I said: You said before that I only have half of my brother!
7. In her sophomore year of high school, my twin sister's proud math test scored only 77 points. The younger sister was crying bitterly on the table, and the male classmate who sat in the back seat and bullied his sister for 3 years was shocked. The male classmate indignantly took his sister's paper to the teacher and said, "She has such good grades, it is impossible to be worse than me, is it wrong?" The teacher took her sister's test paper and found that it was really a mistake of 23 points. When the male classmate handed the test paper that was crossed out 77 to 54 to his sister, the sister couldn't help it, and she cried loudly.
8. The boyfriend who has been in love with me for 6 years today proposed to break up with me, and he was particularly desperate and did not give me the opportunity to refuse at all. I was particularly sad and didn't understand why so many years of relationships had come to this. So I went to his house and asked him why he was so desperate. Only then did he know that he was actually in love with someone else! Scumbag! I fell in love with anyone else and didn't break up with him, how could he do this to me!?
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
